Joogle

I read this no less than three times and even if it is some bizarre old in-joke, I don't get it at all.

Joogle

It's impossible to tell from this, but this is a several-second loop of something that very vaguely resembles a really simple Base Attack Puzzle level. Product placement!

Joogle

So maybe they're just supposed to be nonsensical and dumb? Well, if there's one thing we know how to make, it's nonsensical and dumb characters!

Joogle

Get it, it's a skull and crossbones. Anyway we can't go to A B Y S S  O F  D E A T H Bovoos Abyss yet. Joke's on you, I didn't want to go there anyway! Maybe.

(If you try, you just die when you hit the bottom of the screen.)

Joogle

NYRRRRR-GACK

Joogle

Music: Something named "NewBoss"

This place introduces timed switches. You hit the red one then hurry and press the blue one before the red one unswitches then get through the door before the blue one unswitches. Pretty sure you die if you get stuck in the door.

Joogle

OH NO STUCK BEHIND THIS DOOR CURSE YOU BAD LEVEL DESIGN oh wait what's this discolored block doing here.

Joogle

These secret rooms are the most clever things in the universe.

Joogle

Sue You ready? Jump as far as you can!

Wait, who was that? Wow, what a very clear and very strange dream! (No, Sue's portrait doesn't actually appear, but that line does.)

Joogle

Dodging ball-and-chains in a narrow area with moving platforms is super rad.

Joogle

Useless signs no one could actually see in reality are the best kind.

Joogle

Continuity error since I died and wasn't quite sure the first time around, but you know what's great? For absolutely no logical reason, the timed doors close when you switch characters. What you're supposed to do here is just switch to Pilid and go through, but instead you have to do things twice to both hit the switch and get out as Pilid.

Also, I'm really not sure where that bug came from, especially since I doubt I touched the time doors after testing this area.

Joogle

Good to know. Apparently this was the only guy we were saving and Belvice went to the Abyss to summon the Seven AA. BUT HOW DO WE GET THERE?

Joogle

Sounds good to me. I have the world record in Spacin'jooglers.

Joogle

Man, this is easy! Those silly Spacin'jooglers move so slow!

Joogle

WAIT WHAT WHY ARE MY SHOTS BOUNCING OFF NOOOOO

Joogle Joogle

hooray!

Joogle

But if you don't have an umbrella, you can't be inspired to write Hatsune Miku songs.

Joogle Joogle Joogle

Man, Bovoos is truly a cinematic masterpiece, and I think I was mostly responsible for those parts. I should make Metal Gear Solid or something.

Joogle

Music: The Joogle Bros. - Old Temples (by Mitchell_XD)

Guys, it's dark, I'm scared.

Joogle

I'm especially scared of this Scorpino who's flipping back and forward and got stuck in my way.

Joogle

Of course, AFTER I talked to this guy, he got free and started unleashing his lasery wrath. (Which I swear was visible in this screenshot but I guess not.)

Joogle

I sure wish I was Wario or something so I could smash through these blocks. Or Raishuu[?]vg's Historical Notes: A game Mitch was going to make with gravity switching and no jumping. It predated VVVVVV, but, sucked. Also it was named "next week" in Japanese. (Raishuu also means "invasion," which was the intended meaning.)" so I could flip my gravity. Except that game didn't actually have sideways gravity.

Joogle

It's a GOLD TURRET!! They shoot you even if you're far away and faster. As if regular ones weren't annoying enough (well the regular ones aren't very harmful but still).

Joogle

Belvice is the least threatening villain ever. It's probably because he's a Joogle.

Joogle

OH NO

Joogle

Oh. Well.

Joogle

Music: Cave Story - Running Hell

SHAKE YOUR MONITOR.

Joogle

This sure is exciting and Hell-ish.

Joogle

Oh boy, red crows. Because regular ones weren't fast enough, annoying enough, or abused enough.

Joogle

Ugh.

And apparently it's impossible to go back up to start the platform without getting hit!

And I think that, because there's no Joogle switcher, it's possible to get stuck and save with low enough health to only survive one hit. And the crows respawn whenever you reload. Pinnacle of game design.

Joogle

Guess I better go down!

Joogle

What's this? Some kind of... tunnel? Dug by some kind of... mole?

PREPARE FOR INTENSE CUTSCENE SUMMARY

Joogle

Aw, what a cute little mole. Oh, he hit something. It made a beeping sound.

Joogle

EXPLOSION THAT'S A BIG MOLE AND HE'S SCURRYING OFF WITH OUR EARTH KEY

Now, I know you've all been looking forward to seeing a video of how hard Attack Mole is (it's certainly moreso than Ballos). Alas, since making the SS Belvice video, I have become a YouTube Superstarâ„¢. I am thus afraid such a video would entail losing many subscribers who would have never suspected I had helped make such an awful game.

So instead, you will get this animated GIF.

Joogle

Music: Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door - Magnus Von Grapple

PREPARE FOR INTENSE BOSS SUMMARY
There's a rockapillar that continuously goes around the edge of the room in a circle.
Attack Mole jumps in I think three different ways:

At about 75% health, fireballs start to shoot from the top-middle in an arc. At about 50% health, the fireballs shoot their own fireballs at you. At about 25% health, they shoot their own fireballs in both directions, and I think these fireballs shoot some fireballs too.

Joogle

Anyway, I had considerably less trouble when I didn't have to remember to press the screenshot button every once in a while.

(Also, it's pretty much impossible to catch especially since I forgot about it, but after he loses all his life and finishes his current attack, Attack Mole dives down into the ground at hyper-speed and explodes.)

Joogle Joogle

We fall down a pit and of course Surn is here to annoy us about our journay.

Joogle

The Earth Key makes us VIOLENTLY AGGRESSIVE against cracked blocks.

Joogle

Also, swimming in lava, which I could swear has better controls than swimming in water somehow?

Joogle

So we're back here in this tunnel before Attack Mole, but now some debris at the start is gone. Perfectly sensible.

Joogle

MECHA-BLAGONS. They fire out these bombs-that-look-nothing-like-bombs directly up and they fall down.

Joogle

Oh, how tricksy - if you make the blocks toward the right fall, they block your path to a Star Egg! Of course if you fall for this there's actually a health refill next to the egg so you can just dive into the laser anyway.

Joogle

That sky sure looks evil, but this music is so funky.

Music: Runescape - Romper Chomper

Joogle

OH MY GOD A DIFFERENT COLOR OF TEXTBOX. Oh, and a talking magical key.

I think I'll let this whole area speak for itself.

Joogle Joogle Joogle Joogle Joogle Joogle Joogle

And then the Earth Key is like "okay, okay, we'll shut up now," but I forgot to screenshot it. So we're almost to Belvice's Castle! Which means it's...

Joogle

!!!!!

Music: Some random guy - Exploring Beyond

Joogle

So... what, like a keychain?

Joogle

Yes, this is basically the tutorial in reverse with a ton of enemies and spikes added. Brilliant!

Joogle

Oh no! There are BOXES in my way!

Joogle

I'll ask this large cat on a skateboard to help.

Joogle

OH NO LASER EYES ACTIVATED

Joogle

That flower's getting pretty big.

Joogle

KNIFEWINGS (and no I don't know why Pate is all badly-scaled)

BOSS: PATE AND VARGIE
Music: Ristar - Crazy Kings (again)

Pate (the cat) jumps around and alternatingly shoots tri-shots of fire and a semi-homing laser shot. Vargie goes back and forward shooting quad-shots of knives. It's somehow not visible in any of the screenshots, but he's usually pretty high up and only hittable with some Air Key-ing.

Also, this boss is actually probably harder than Belvice and you're forced to use Pilid, although Joogle's slowness would probably suck anyway.

Joogle

After you beat Pate, he and his skateboard fall off the screen and Vargie comes down for easier hitting, but then fires a heck of a lot more knives.

Joogle

Yeah, like that many.

Joogle

There we go, that's a better shot that includes Pate too. He looks like he's doing such a sick trick on that skateboard.

Joogle

BACK INTO THE EARTH FROM WHENCE IT CAME

Joogle

Aw, we thought someone might want to buy items. How cute.

Chapter 9