[[ New Game ]]
(Eternal Shrine Maiden plays.)

CAUTION!!
It would be best if you've played and understood the original MOTHER games. Many spoilers are present.
From Touhou, at least know the characters. And if you don't know the story, this one may be hard to understand.
Know about the old ones too, if possible...
Even some of the battles will resemble those from the originals.
You have no excuse to call it stupid if you haven't played the originals!
OK? < OK! / NO! >

[ NO! ]
(Return to title screen)

[ OK! ]
By the way, where's this music from?
< Mountain of Faith / Highly Responsive to Prayers / Mother 2 / Mother 4 >

[ Anything but HRtP ] 
...Uh, are you sure? < OK! / NO! >

[ NO! ]
(Return to title screen)

[ Highly Responsive to Prayers / OK! ]
Please choose a difficulty. * It's quite possible that Hard and above AREN'T possible.
< EASY / NORMAL / HARD / LUNATIC >

With that, let us begin.

(Special Thanks: Nintendo. S Presents: TOUHOU)

What's your first name?
[ Naming screen / "Junya Itoi... that's a strange name." ]

What's your last name?
[ Naming screen / Automatically skipped ]

What's your favorite food?
[ Naming screen / "SAKE? Hey, me too!" ]

What's your favorite thing?
[ Naming screen / "LOVE... How romantic!" ]

Name: _____. Favorite food: _____. Favorite thing: _____.
And now, the game can begin.



[[ Hakurei Shrine ]]
(Pan over the shrine.)

One day, in Gensokyo, at the Hakurei Shrine.

(Reimu steps out from behind the shrine to check on the donation box in front. No deal.)

Marisa
Reeeimuuu!

(Pan to Marisa, who runs up to Reimu.)

Marisa
Now, THAT's unusual. You're actually up already?!
Seriously, no offense, but you're starting to remind me of lazy ol' Yukari...
...Or maybe it's Yukari who's reminding me more of you?
...Aaanyway, Reimu, I came by to consult you on the latest incidents. You're the expert, y'know.
So! What big, exciting things have been happening? ...If any?

(Reimu ...'s.)

Marisa
What, you think I'm up to something? Man, I'm just bored.

(Reimu ...'s.)

Marisa
...That many, huh? Well, great. We've gotta find something to do, the two of us.
Hm... well, uh... I guess we could check out the Garden of the Sun.
Yuka's probably there. Could be interesting. Hopefully. You game?

Reimu
< Yes / No >

[ No ]
Marisa
Well, clearly you're NOT game if you won't let the plot advance! Yeesh, like YOU'VE got anything better to do!

[ Yes ]
Marisa
Well, then! That settles that!

(Marisa gets into place behind Reimu.)

Marisa joined the party!

(There's a Suwako hat who'll save your game.)

Suwako
*hop*
I'm a frog('s hat). Do you want me to record everything that's happened so far?
< Yes / No >

[ No ]
Suwako
...Well, I hope you won't come to regret it!
Give my regards to the next frog hat you meet.



[[ Crossroads ]]
Sign
<Left> Garden of the Sun - <Up> Forest of Magic - <Down> Human Village - <Right> Hakurei Shrine

(Marisa won't let you go south from the crossroads.)

Marisa
Oh, trust me, there's nothing worth looking at in the human village. For now, at least.

(Or north.)

Marisa
What, are we going to Alice's?
...Uh, sorry, it's just that I kinda... destroyed her house. I'd rather, you know, stay away.
...Maybe later, though.



[[ Garden of the Sun ]]
Marisa
There she is, there she is!

(Reimu and Marisa run over to Yuka.)

Marisa
Hellooooo!

(Pause.)

Yuka
Haaah... Still no sign of her...

(Pause.)

Marisa
Oh yeah?

(Yuka jumps in surprise.)

Yuka
Whoa, Marisa!... Haaah...

Marisa
What's crackin', Yuka?

Yuka
...You haven't seen Wriggle around, have you?

Marisa
Nah, why?

(Yuka faces down and an illusionary Wriggle appears to her right.)

Yuka
...I'm waiting for her to come by.
And when she does, I'll kick her butt...

(Yuka kicks the illusion's ass into the Milky Way.)

Yuka
...Right into the sky.
I haven't beaten anyone up all day. I am extremely dissatisfied by this state of affairs.

Marisa
Ah, I... see.

(Marisa turns to Reimu.)

Marisa
...Sorry. I thought she'd be more interesting, really.

Yuka
Haaah... Won't you show up, already...?

(Marisa turns back to Yuka.)

Marisa
What's with the "haaah"s, anyway? You dying or something?

Cirno
Hold it RIGHT THERE!

(Everyone faces up. Cirno pops out of the sunflowers, and I'm a Mole Cricket! plays.)

Cirno
Tadaaaaa! 'Tis I!

Yuka
...Huh? Oh, it's a fairy.
What are you doing here? I'll have you know you're making my flowers wilt.

Cirno
Why, you! Don't play dumb! You were gonna bully Wriggle! I heard it all!
I am a defender of justice, and as such, I will not stand by and tolerate such... injusticeness!

Yuka
...Well... you'll do.

Cirno
Uh... huh? Does... Does "yuldew" mean you renounce your wicked ways?

Marisa
I like the cut of your jib, Yuka! 'Course, I could handle a plain ol' defender of justice by myself anyday.
And she's not even fighting for justice... just ice! Hey-oh! Ice BURN! Literally!
Hey, Reimu, you know you love it! Come on!

Cirno
I'll show you, you mean old bullies!

<< Cirno >>
Cirno brandished her watermelon blades!
<< Cirno was defeated! >>

(Yuka kicks Cirno into the sky.)

Yuka
Ahahahaaaaa! Now THAT'S more like it! It must've been her lousy ice that was cramping my style!

Marisa
...Sorry, Reimu. That was really, really lame. ...Let's go before this gets worse somehow.

(Yuka moves up.)

Yuka
...Hey, what the heck is...?!

Marisa
W-What is it, Yuka?!

(Pan up to a meteor falling, hitting Cirno, then landing and shaking the ground.)

Marisa
What was... that...?
What WAS that?! What's the sky doing DROPPING crap on us, ze?
Reimu! The Hakurei Border isn't broken or anything, is it?! What'd you screw up now?!

(Pause.)

Marisa
...Okay, I overreacted a little, you're not to blame... probably. But something's up here! Nothing like this has ever happened before!

Yuka
...Right! So let us not waste our time in idle discourse!

(Yuka starts moving left.)

Marisa
Yuka?! Hey, don't leave us behind!

(Yuka continues moving left... very slowly.)

Marisa
Oh, right... that probably won't be happening anytime soon.
...Anyway, this is something we don't wanna miss! Let's get on this, Reimu!

(Reimu and Marisa run left.)

Yuka
W-What?! Wait for me!



[[ Meteor Crossing ]]
(Marisa won't let you go back to the Garden of the Sun.)

Marisa
That... would be going backwards, ze.

(And ants won't let you go west.)

There are ants at your feet.
You might accidentally step on them, so please don't go over there.

(There's a sign by some mushrooms up by the save point.)

Sign
Forest-Brand Wild Mushrooms. "The great taste that leaves you feeling great!"

These mushrooms don't look TOO poisonous... < Eat / Don't eat >

[ Eat ]
(Full recovery.)
The sign was right! You felt great!
...Of course, there still might be some, you know, secondary effects. ...Maybe.



[[ Meteor ]]
(Reimu and Marisa walk toward the meteor.)

Marisa
...So is that the thing that just fell?

(Marisa gets closer.)

Marisa
...The hell is this thing? I don't have the slightest clue...
It just looks... rocky. But a really weird kind of rocky.

(A Starman teleports in on top of the meteor and she jumps back.)

???
...*whirr* We have been found. But, this new land... this new world...
...Yes. Here and *bzzt* now, we shall make it ours.
We shall procure it... So that it may become *click* the land of our angel.

<< Starman Jr. >>
Starman Jr. tried PK Beam Alpha!
<< Starman Jr. was defeated! >>

Yuka
F-F-FINALLY caught up to you jerks... B... Buh? What happened?

Marisa
...Man, Yuka! You LITERALLY just missed out on all the fun, ze...!

(Reimu looks aroumd.)

Marisa
Wassup, Reimu?

(Reimu stops, facing right, and !'s.)

Marisa
Zeh? What'd you...
...!

(The screen scrolls right to Porky on the ground. The screen fades, LOG-O-TYPE plays, and the TOUHOU logo appears Mother 3-style.)



(The Mother 1 Poltergeist music starts over a black screen.)

Yuka
I don't get why you think we should help this guy.
He looks just fine to me lying in the flowers.

Marisa
'Cause I'm human! I ain't just gonna leave a dude in distress behind, ze!
Heck, maybe if you're REALLY lucky, you could get me doing your busywork... NOT!
Is the Scarlet Devil Mansion seriously the closest place we've got?!
Well, hold on tight, 'cause we're gettin' there MARISA-STYLE!



[[ Outside Scarlet Devil Mansion ]]
(Hong's standing and sleeping. The meteor sound plays and the ground shakes.)



[[ Scarlet Devil Mansion - Patchouli's Room ]]
(The group minus Yuka has made a hole in the wall.)

Patchouli
...Oh. It's Marisa. ...Think you could've given the entrance a try?

Marisa
I just made you a NEW entrance! Gotta problem with that?!
More importantly, Patchouli! Take a look at this fatty.
He was unconscious. ...Not my fault, ze.

Patchouli
...Ah, indeed. ...First of all, set him down to rest on that bed colored after you.

(Reimu ...'s at this.)

Marisa
...N-No, Reimu, it's cool. There's nothing strange about that at all, what are you talking about.
I mean, you know Patchouli's a good guy... girl. And she's a magician, too. We get along.
So whatever you're thinking is DEFINITELY wrong! Maybe!

(Reimu ...'s again.)

Marisa
...Uh... Patchouli?!

Patchouli
...I just wanted some Marisa to be in my bed at night.
It makes me happy.

Marisa
...That's... not helping.
Whatever! Point is, we gotta do something about this guy!

Patchouli
Yes, yes...

(Marisa flops Porky onto the bed.)

Marisa
Howzat?

Patchouli
...Sure put a lot of care into that, didn't you? Well, we'll leave him be.

Marisa
What? I'm not slaving away for some stranger. I don't owe him crap.

Patchouli
Don't you think that comes off as a tad selfish?

Marisa
I don't wanna lie. Usually.

Patchouli
Want a drink? I came across some foreign beverages.
I got this thing called a Big City Cola.

Marisa
...Uh, well, I wasn't exactly planning on coming here to take it easy, but...

Patchouli
...I... see...
.....
........
...........
..............

Marisa
A-Alright, alright, ze... I can stick around a little while.

Patchouli
...I see.

(The screen fades and Marisa and Patchouli are sitting on the couch together. Reimu ...'s.)

Patchouli
Right. Reimu. Would you check on Remmy for me?
I'm really quite worried about her.

Marisa
Somethin' up?

Patchouli
Well, it wouldn't mean much if I were to do it.
It's just she herself who's worrisome.

Marisa
...I don't get you.

(Reimu looks at the couch.)

You're imposing on their together time!

(Reimu tries to go out the door. She ?'s, then Remilia comes running out, pushing her away. Poltergeist plays.)

Remilia
Help me, Patchouliiiiiiiiii!!

(Sakuya enters wearing a mask.)

Sakuya?
Kukuku... What's the matter, Mistress? Playtime has long since ended...
So return to your room! Return to further study! You SHALL do as I say!

(Reimu ?'s.)

Remilia
Ahhh... *sniff*...

Marisa
What's with this ugly broad? ...And what's up with the thing on her head?

Patchouli
She's been like this since yesterday. ...As far as I know, nobody put it on her.

(Remilia !'s.)

Remilia
Reimu! ...Listen to me! I beg of you... Help me!

Sakuya
Hohohn! Mistress! How unbefitting that you would beg, and to one who might as well be a beggar!
And you dare call yourself a vampire?

Remilia
But... b-but...

(Sakuya !'s.)

Sakuya
Ah, REEEI-mu... Would you dare attempt to get in this maid's way?
< Yes / No >

[ No ]
Remilia
R-Reimu...

Are you really rejecting Remilia's plea? That's pretty cold, y'know.
< Yes / No >

[ Yes ]
Sakuya
Hohoh... what bravery.

Sakuya clearly isn't listening!

Marisa
Patchouli, whaddya think I should do?

Patchouli
Ah, well... However you prefer.

Marisa
Huh? ...Oh, you mean to get her back to normal? Yeah, probably gonna have to sooner or later.

Patchouli
I'll do my best to assist. Sakuya's always being so rude on the job.

<< Masked Maid Girl >>
Masked Maid Girl took out a Tarot card!
Sakuya: Reimu! Stop this card!
Sakuya: The Tarot card has a right side and a flipped side!
Sakuya: And it will change your very fate!
Sakuya: Should the right side come up, you cannot act!
Sakuya: Should the flipped side come up, I cannot act!
Sakuya: May the Tarot stop...! < Stop! >
[ Right-side-up ] Right side! Reimu's party can't act!
[ Upside-down ] Flipped side! Sakuya's attack failed!

Masked Maid Girl threw a ton of knives!

Patchouli is coughing violently!

Patchouli cast Multiheal!

Patchouli used PK Freeze Alpha!
<< Masked Maid Girl's mask fell off! >>

Sakuya
...

Marisa
...How 'bout that?

Sakuya
...Mistress? ...W-What...?

Remilia
Sakuya...

Sakuya
M-Mistress. What has happened here?

Remilia
...Sakuya! Don't you remember what you've been doing?!

Sakuya
...M-My apologies. I can recall only vaguely...

Marisa
Good. 'Cause you were tougher than usual.
...But clearly, still not enough.

(Marisa turns toward Patchouli.)

Marisa
...So, what's this worth? Gotta be at least one book, right?

Patchouli
...
...Would my diary be acceptable?

Marisa
...
Sure, I'll take it, ze.

Got the Dream Diary.

Remilia
...Sakuya. If you are indeed back to normal, then we are done here.
Now hurry and get to work on fixing up the mansion!

Sakuya
Understood, m'lady! ...Wait, you mean me?

Remilia
Oh, you slay me! What, you think you're working for humans or something?!

(Sakuya and Remilia leave.)

Marisa
But what was up with the mask?
...There we go. Fixed aaall up.

Patchouli
Fixed...?! Throw that thing away! I can't believe you...!

Marisa
Fine, ze! TAKE it!

(Marisa smashes the mask on Patchouli's face. Ow.)

Patchouli
Kyaaa...!

A sound flowed from the mask! Reimu remembered the melody.

The mask is now in pieces...

Patchouli
...Hm? What was that sound?

Marisa
...It's... huh.
Sounds sorta nostalgic, like I've heard it before. But that can't be right...

Fatty
U-Uhhh...

Marisa
...Oh. You up?

Fatty
...You're...?

Marisa
I'm the superstar Marisa. Hail me as your hero! Or heroine, that's cool too.

Patchouli
But really, you should be thanking her.
If Marisa hadn't helped you out, you'd be nothing more than youkai bait.

Fatty
...Thanks.

Marisa
...That all you got? Whatever. So who're you?

Fatonymous
...I don't know.

Marisa
...You what?
What a lame joke. You've gotta do better than that, kid.

Fatonymous
...I'm not lying. ...I really... don't remember anything. ...Not even my name.

Marisa
Another amnesiac, huh?
Like I haven't heard that one in a hundred other Touhou fangames, ze...

Patchouli
...What did you say?

Marisa
Nothing important.
...Really, though, don't remember ANYTHING?

Fatonymous
...No.

Marisa
Nothing, say, in your pockets, is there?

Fatonymous
...Oh, there's a scrap of paper here. ...It says "Porky."

Marisa
Then we'll call you Porky. That fine?

Porky
...Fine.

Marisa
...Right, Porky. I'm guessing no, but you remember ever hearing this melody?

(The first melody plays again.)

Porky
...No.

Marisa
Figures...
...Alright, Reimu. Maybe Yukari'll know something.
...Let's give her a chance, at least.
Who knows? Maybe she'll actually prove herself as a sage for once.

Patchouli
...Bet it'll be fun.

Marisa
Finally, we've got something to do. This won't be boring, that's for sure.
So, you gonna come with?

Patchouli
...Sorry, I'd rather not.
...Marisa. This seems it may be an affair of unprecedented weight...
It makes me uneasy... so you should take this.

Got the Magic Ribbon.

Patchouli
I'll let you borrow my magic charm for a while.

Marisa
...Aw, Patchouli... Thanks!

Patchouli
...If this turns out to be more than just Yukari's idea of a prank, be sure to tell me.
Porky may be a human from the outside world. And in order for him to enter...

Marisa
Guess that means there are aliens besides the Eirin kind...! Right, let's move it, Reimu!

(The cutscene ends.)

Patchouli
Welcome, Marisa.
I tried making some SAKE for you. Will you have some?
< I need it! / I don't need it >

[ I need it! ]
It was delicious.

Patchouli
Well, good luck.

Porky
I don't get what's going on, but good luck anyway.



[[ Scarlet Devil Mansion - Voile Library ]]
(There's a sign in front of the door to the left.)

Koakuma is moping around inside. Do not disturb.



[[ Scarlet Devil Mansion - Entrance ]]
(There's a sign in front of the door to the library.)

Temporarily known as "Voile, Magic Library."
Real name is unknown.

(There's a sign in front of furniture stacked in front of... Flandre's room, I guess.)

Basement. Beware of Monster Houses.

(There's a sign in the middle for no reason.)

Every time we put something here, Marisa destroys it. So there's nothing here.

Marisa
..........

(You can't enter the middle door.)

No entry! Sakuya and Remilia are working their butts off making repairs!



[[ Outside the Scarlet Devil Mansion ]]
(Hong is still sleeping.)

Gatekeeper
..................

...She's asleep!



[[ Path to the Scarlet Devil Mansion ]]
(South of the mansion is the Lake of Mist, or...)

Idiot Lake. (Translator's note: Idiot means baka.)



[[ Meteor Crossing ]]
Marisa
So, how are we gonna get to Yukari's?

(Reimu ...'s.)

Marisa
...The hell? You telling me you don't KNOW?
It's, er... Dang, how DID we get there before...?
...Uh, Reimu, it's up to you to lead the way.



[[ Hakurei Shrine ]]
Sign
Come, Reimu, my honey sweet.
There are scarcely words to describe how much I wish to discuss with you, and so I bestow this upon you.
Courtesy of the sage Yukari.

Marisa
...Odd, not even to mention a tad suspicious. But hey, leaving us a gap IS awfully convenient.



[[ Yukarispace ]]
Bed
A bed's lying around randomly.
< Sleep / Sleep in THAT?! >

[ Sleep ]
You rested in the mysterious bed and felt revived.



[[ Yukari's House ]]
Yukari
Welcome home, Reimu.
Shall you have a meal? A bath, perhaps? Or maybe... you are here for meee?

Marisa
... ...Just gimme some food.

Yukari
I was not speaking to you. If you came expecting the same treatment I would give Reimu, that is simply tooooo bad.

Marisa
Well, ain't you a jerk.

Yukari
Reimu, I have made great quantities of your favorite SAKE.
But mostly, it was Ran.

Ran
So, so tired...

Yukari
Now, to speak of our current incident... Is it OK desu ka for me to proceed? Do you have say, a pad of paper ready?
Well, I suppose it is short enough to merely remember.
Reimu, yesterday, you ran over to the site of a fallen meteorite, correct?
...I would assume you already know, but that object did not break the Hakurei Border.
...Yes. Without having to break the Border, it was able to enter Gensokyo.
...Via some external power.
...Reimu, do you know anything about that white creature you defeated?
...Perhaps it was an associate of his that let him pass through the Border.
Who? And to what end? That, as always, I do not know.
...However.
...Yesterday, I beheld a vision. ...And perhaps it was no mere vision.
...I, yesterday, in my perhaps-perhaps-not vision, spoke with someone.
Our new enemy could very well achieve the destruction of Gensokyo.
And if that were to be prevented...
The melodies brought with the villain would be necessary. That is what "he" whom I spoke with said.
He said nothing more than that.

(The first melody plays.)

Yukari
...Was that not the first of the melodies?
...So.
Reimu. Search out the melodies that remain!
..."He" was not lying. Of that, I feel certain. And... he gave me the same feeling that you do.
Of course, I do not plan on merely sitting here and folding my arms.
I, too, shall search. But mostly, Ran will.

Ran
I'm tired... no more...

Yukari
...Should I find something, I shall notify you immediately.
And so, Reimu... Do this, for the sake of all Gensokyo.

Marisa
...Yukari. You know this Porky guy?

Yukari
...I have not heard of this.

Marisa
...We don't think he's a human from this world.
Patchouli's still watching over him at the Scarlet Devil Mansion. I think.

Yukari
I would rather entrust him to Remilia for the strictest of control.
Reimu, I must soon get going.
My gaps link the critical areas you will visit on your journey, so please make use of them for convenient travel.
Lastly, if you must sleep, you may do so here.
It would be quite regrettable if you had to, say, camp out behind that papier mache shrine, Marisa having destroyed it.
I am such a hero! ...Well, the friend of a hero, at least. Fufufu.
So long.

(Yukari teleports away.)

Marisa
...Geez, I'm SORRY, okay, ze?
But, uh... This is getting unusually serious. No time to wait warmly, that's for sure.
But hey, you and me? Man, nothing's gonna pose a problem to us, ze!
We're in it together this time! We're PALS!

(Yukari teleports in.)

Yukari
Ah, yes. It seems Yuyuko has discovered the second melody. Go get it now.
I have established a connection to the gate to the netherworld for you.

(Yukari teleports away.)

Marisa
...So it seems. Let's roll, ze.



[[ Hakugyokurou ]]
(Reimu climbs the stairs to find a sign and gap in front of Yuyuko's house.)

Sign
Sooorry. I was late. From Yukari.



[[ Yuyuko's House ]]
Marisa
Hellooooo!

Yuyuko
Oh, welcome. You're here already? I've heard from Yukari.

(Youmu walks down and looks pissed as hell.)

Youmu?
...Do not think I have forgotten what you did to me in our last encounter!
I fought you once, but I shall NOOOT lose this time!
Marisa! Reimu! For defeating me once before, I shall RECLAIM my HONOR!

Marisa
...Uh, who's this.

Yuyuko
It's Youmu. But some time ago, she started being uncharacteristically unreliable...

Marisa
Urghhh. That means she's cursed or something, huh?
Uh, what's that sound...?

Youmu
Lady Yuyuko!
I MUST be allowed to defeat them! I nearly DIED in the week I spent training!
Permit me to challenge them... to a DUEL!

Yuyuko
...Very well. How could I turn that down, truly?
...Now, then, Youmu holds the melody. So she shall be your opponent.

(The Sanctuary boss music starts.)

Youmu
Take it from me, if you dare...

Marisa
Man, don't go changing the music. I liked it better before.

<< Youmu Shall Not Lose >>
Youmu Shall Not Lose: Anubis, meet Roukanken! DUAL! WIELD! FENCIIING!!

Youmu Shall Not Lose came slashing!!

Youmu Shall Not Lose tried PK Through!

Youmu: I shall not LOOOOOSE!!
Youmu Shall Not Lose lashed out violently!

Yuyuko took out a megaphone!
Yuyuko: Your mother would be ashamed!
Her attempt at persuasion failed! (Her offense goes up.)

Yuyuko drank Youmu Shall Not Lose's tea!
Youmu Shall Not Lose got angry! (Her offense goes up.)

Youmu Shall Not Lose: I'm finiiiiished!!
<< Youmu Shall Not Lose was defeated! >>

Youmu
Dgyahhh!

Yuyuko
Quite the difference, truly.

(Youmu !'s and turns around and looks normal now.)

Youmu
Hahhh?! L-Lady Yuyuko! What did I do?!

Yuyuko
Oh, boo, you're back to normal. That's boring.

Youmu
...Normal? ...What... happened here? I was dreaming about being really strong...

Yuyuko
...Oh, but of course you're strong. ...Maybe. ...In some ways.

(Youmu ...'s.)

Youmu
Reimu, Marisa. What happened to me?

Marisa
You lost a trial of guts, kid. Better luck next time.

(Youmu starts heading out.)

Yuyuko
Ah, what's wrong?

Youmu
Lady Yuyuko, I shall embark upon a journey. I'll be back in a month, so please, don't look for me.
And I shall have no weaknesses to hold me back!

Yuyuko
Sounds like a pretty big deal. I suppose I shouldn't worry, though.
I won't stop you, but...

Youmu
So I go.

(Youmu leaves, pauses at the edge of the screen, and gets blasted back by Yuka, now wearing a Luffy hat.)

Yuka
FINALLY found you guys.
I love my Master Spark, but hell if it doesn't take a lot of energy to use.

Marisa
Yuka! ...Uh, you got a hat!

Yuka
I nabbed it on the way from some guys who were calling themselves pirates.
All the hatless dudes never seem to get a chance to shine, so I figured I'd try to escape that.
The only real exception's Alice.

Marisa
But, like, EVERYBODY wears hats. You can't find much correlation there.

Yuka
Well, it really seemed to help. I feel myself moving faster already.

Marisa
What if you wore my hat? My hat's so great, you'd probably start dashing through walls or something.

Yuka
Reimu. I haven't gotten a chance to do crap for a long time, so take me along.
I wasn't even in Shoot the Bullet, and EVERYBODY was in Shoot the Bullet.
Even if you say no, I'm following you, dammit. I don't wanna end up like freakin' Mima.

Marisa
...Miss Mima... Fine, fine. Come on, Yuka.

Yuka
Not like I needed to hear it from you!

Yuka joined the party!

Marisa
Youmu! ...'s gone.

Yuyuko
Ah, yes. The melody.
Youmu had it, but I can still sing it for you. Listen closely.

Yuyuko sang the song! Reimu remembered the melody.

Yuka
Yuyuko, you don't know where to find any of the other melodies, do you?

Yuyuko
No, not at all.

Marisa
Ohhh well. Let's head on back, I guess. Again.

(The cutscene ends.)

Yuyuko
Ah, welcome.

Youmu
...Myon.

She appears to have taken heavy mental damage.

Reimu opened the present.
A hot spring was inside.
Relaxing in the hot spring, Reimu's party felt revived.

Yuka
Am I supposed to be laughing?



[[ Hakugyokurou ]]
(If you try to use the gap outside Yuyuko's house...)

The gap is broken.

Yuka
Oh, what? I guess SOMEBODY pushed it too hard and it broke!

(Reimu ...'s because it was probably Yuka.)



[[ Yukarispace ]]
(Patchouli and Porky are waiting for Reimu.)

Yuka
...Oh?

Porky
Good day, Lady Reimu.

Patchouli
I told you they'd make it, and so they made it.

Marisa
Hey, Porky! Got your memories back?

Porky
...Not at all. But I did remember one little thing.

Marisa
Yeah? What?

Porky
Lady Reimu, I've heard from Lady Yukari.
That there are these... "melodies." Which she heard about from a certain... "him."
I get the oddest feeling about this "him" she met...
...Lady Reimu. I would very much trust that this "him" business is no lie.
If you collect those melodies, you will likely be able to prevent a very dangerous thing indeed.
...And, one last thing.
...Is there perhaps something I could do for you?
Anything at all, really. I want you to succeed!

Marisa
...Man, you okay, dude?
You gotta focus on getting your memories back, not this incident junk.

Porky
Alright... But please, if you need anything at all, I'll be there!

(Patchouli !'s.)

Patchouli
Ah, Marisa. Alice has been looking all over for you. And she appears... hurt.

Marisa
Hurt...?

(Marisa !'s.)

Marisa
NOT good! Reimu, we gotta hurry over to Alice's!

Yuka
What did you do this time?

Marisa
Uh, destroyed Alice's house. What of it?

Yuka
...Then that sounds a bit pointless. So, tell me, why would you want to...?

Marisa
Well, uh, I was... Alice called me over to her house. And she gave me a ton of tea, y'see.
Right, and then, uh, I... couldn't move. My whole body went numb.
And Alice was all like, ahem...
"Yooou shall become one of my dooolls..."
Or something creepy like that. So I magic'd the crap outta her house and high-tailed outta there.

Patchouli
...You're really one of a kind, you know that?

Marisa
...But I feel really bad about it now, so I figure I gotta go apologize...

Patchouli
...I see. That's the Marisa way of honesty, I suppose.

(Porky !'s.)

Porky
Oh, right! Please, take this with you!

Got the Friend's Yoyo.

Porky
...It's from an old friend of mine.

Marisa
You sure we can have this?

Porky
I'm sure. Lady Reimu, please make use of it.

Patchouli
Well, do us good, you guys.

Marisa
Oh. Bye, now.

(Patchouli and Porky go away.)

Yuka
...So, we're going to Alice's?

Marisa
...Right. ...We are, aren't we...
If it's not a problem, Reimu, Yuka, I'd like you to help me out again.


[[ Forest of Magic - Marisa's House ]]
Marisa's house.
Reimu resisted the urge to destroy it in an instant.

(Reimu goes a little further into the forest and tries to go east.)

There are ants at your feet.
You might accidentally step on them, so please don't go over there.
Sometimes, you just can't resist the urge to trample ants...
But you did anyway.
Someday, those ants you wanted to trample might just do you a favor.

(Reimu opens a present.)

Hold it RIGHT THERE!

(Cirno appears.)

Cirno
The merry fairy of light! I am BLUE! Hah HA!

(Mystia appears to her left.)

Mystia
The wing that flaps in the dark! I'm BROWN! Tondagossa!

(Wriggle appears to her right.)

Wriggle
In the thick green-ness of the greenery, who else but GREEN?! Gyohohonh!

Marisa
Yuka... This situation could use a well-placed kick.

Yuka
Hm... We'll see how this plays out first.

Wriggle
Gyohohonh! We have formed the ultimate of parties!

Cirno
If by the tiny, tiniest of chances we lose, we will forever bow before you!

Mystia
Tondagossa! But if WE win, as we definitely will, we'll put YOU in your place once and for all!
We'll collect the melodies and resolve that incident like nobody's business!

Marisa
...They're setting themselves up for quite the fall here... Well, I ain't surrendering.

Yuka
Such trifling youkai don't stand a chance. Just go home and play your easy mode.

Wriggle
Why you always gotta put us down, man...? Gyohohonh.

Cirno
Get ready, 'cause the Tetradolts are gonna pound you into dust! YEE-hah!

Mystia
Stone! Sheet! Clippers! You DEAD! ...Maaaybe.

<< Cirno, Mystia, Wriggle >>
Cirno brandished her watermelon blades!

Mystia scratched!

Wriggle threw THAT! (It lowers everyone's offense.)
<< Cirno, Mystia. and Wriggle were defeated! >>

(After battle, the Tetradolts are buried in the ground.)

Yuka
Had enough?

(Reimu ...'s.)

Marisa
Yuka, you're seriously at your best when you're bullying people.

(Reimu ...'s. If you look inside the present that triggered all this...)

There was nothing inside after all.

(The ants go away after the fight. There's a sign by a pond.)

The source of a river. It might be cursed or something.

(There's a grave.)

My teacher. May the beautiful Mima rest in peace for all time.
Reimu was about to curse her out as a hag, but stopped in fear of Marisa behind her.

(Sign at a crossroads.)

Sign
<Up> Alice's House, and further that way, Eientei - <Right> Dead End

(There's a sign in the dead end.)

Sign
Boom.

Marisa
Wow, what a crappy trap! A craptrap!



[[ Forest of Magic - Deep Forest ]]
Marisa
Reimu.
The fairies have been pulling some really mean pranks lately. But you can't let them get to you.

(There's a sign in a dead end.)

Sign
You won't find the right path if you're straying from the path. What are you, an idiot?

Reimu didn't want to cry.

(There's another.)

Sign
You haven't just gone the wrong way. You've steered your whole life into a dead end.

Reimu wasn't in pain.

(There's a sign along the "beaten" path.)

Sign
You won't find the right path if you're straying from the path.

(But the path leads to a dead end.)

Sign
Gotcha! Mooorooon!

(Reimu destroys the sign with PK Dream and heads the right way. There's another crossroads.)

Sign
Keep going straight ahead. You can believe in us!

(Reimu does so to find a dead end.)

Sign
Oh, thanks for listening! Wahahahaha! Eheheh... ahahahaha!

(Reimu goes north instead, and...)



[[ Mother 3 Love Theme ]]
Lucas
Brother... I'm getting tired...

Clasu
Yeah, me too.

Lucas
That girl in black flew waaay into the sky.

Claus
Yes, that's sooooo.

Lucas
The really dumb-looking one got frozen...
The winged one went blind. ...But she got better.
And that maid-ish girl was yelling at them and chasing them down!

Claus
Man, that was scary! Way too scary for kids like us...

Lucas
That blonde girl mumbling to herself scared me, too.
Then bam, somebody came out of the ground and kidnapped them...
Are we gonna die like this...?

Claus
Hey, I'M not giving up.
Mom and Dad'll turn up. Mom and Dad'll be able to do something, I know it.

Lucas
...But how much longer will we have to last until then...? What if they never...?
...We're done for...

Claus
Stop whining, crybaby!
We'll figure something out!
I mean, sure I'm scared...! But we're REALLY doomed if we just give up!

Lucas
...Yeah...

(Rumia teleports in behind Lucas.)

Rumia
Eheheh... Human flesh...? Is it sooooo...?

Lucas
WAHHHHHHHHHH!!

Claus
Don't come any closer, monster!

Rumia
Hooheehee... You'll make for many a feast... Heeheehee..

Claus
Lucas, run! I'll buy you time!

Lucas
What are you talking about?! We're... We're always together! I can't leave you!

Claus
...Sorry. Just let your brother look cool for once!

Lucas
No! ...I'm not running either!

Rumia
Twins... Twiiins... Hooheehee...

Claus
...Very well... Lucas!

Lucas
...We're ALWAYS together... ...To the very end!

<< Rumi

Yuka
YEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!
FAL-CON! PAUUUUUUUUUUNCH!

(Yuka knocks Rumia back.)

Claus
...!

Yuka
YES!

Marisa
...Hey, don't steal all the attention. There are three of us here, you know.

Yuka
Are you two okay? You're not hurt?

Marisa
Groooss.

Yuka
...Ahem, I was being KIND to the children. Not that you could ever understand.

Marisa
Oh, I understand, all right. I'm just not into that shotacon stuff.

Yuka
...Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're a lost cause.

Rumia
...M... Meat...?

Yuka
Oh, not to give up yet... Hey, first boss, if you hadn't figured it out, you're screwed. Screeewed.
Even if you ate those weird mushrooms, I doubt it'd help.

(Rumia slides off-screen.)

Rumia
Such power... Hooheehee...

Claus
...Thank you, Miss Shotacon.

Yuka
...Marisa?

Marisa
...Meh.

Claus
...Er, what IS shotacon?

Marisa
So you're humans from the outside too, huh?

Claus
Outside?

Yuka
Uh, excuse me. Have you ever seen someone fly up into the sky before?

Marisa
...You mean me?

Claus
...No.

Lucas
I don't think so. That girl earlier was the first we'd ever seen.

Yuka
Yep, they're humans from the outside.

Marisa
...You're not too shabby at this whole mothering thing.

Yuka
Kids tend not to screw with flowers. I can appreciate that.

Claus
Miss Shotacon, what do you mean, the "outside"? ...And where is this place?

Yuka
...Marisa, you've done enough harm here. Let me handle this.

Marisa
Sure, whatever.

Yuka
This place is... different from the world you live in.
So people here fly through the sky and shoot bullets. It's a scary place.

Claus
Oh, okay. I get it.

Yuka
...Reimu, let's take them somewhere where they'll be safe.

Marisa
Oh, like the ruined shrine?

Yuka
Um, seeing as it's RUINED... no. ...We'll have to settle for Yukari's, I guess.
So, what are your names?

Claus
I'm Claus, and he's Lucas.

Lucas
...Lucas...

Yuka
Now, then, we're going to take you along to the home of a veeery powerful old lady named Yukari.

(Something in the trees ...'s.)

Yuka
There, you'll be safe.

Claus
Did you hear that?!

Lucas
I did! We're saved! We're gonna live!

Yuka
Yes, that's very nice. Now, hop on. I'll carry you on my back.

(Claus steps aside.)

Claus
Lucas, I'll just keep walking.

Lucas
Thanks, brother. And you, Miss Sho... Miss.

(Lucas gets on Yuka's back.)

Lucas
You smell just like Mom...

Marisa
Huh? You don't mean that smelly sunflower stuff, do you...?
Hey, Claus. It's gonna be quite a ways. Wanna take my broom?

Claus
...Sure.

Marisa
Okay, so what level of PK Broom you up for? Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Omega?

Claus
Huh? ...I don't get it, so, uh, the last one.

Marisa
Okay! FIRE!

(Meteor falling sound.)

Claus
AHHHHHHHHHH!!

Lucas
B-Brother!!

Yuka
...He'll be fine. Probably.



[[ Yukari's House ]]
Claus
Brooms are scary... Witches are scary... Miss Blonde is scary... ...I'm scared.

Lucas
...

Yuka
Marisa!

Marisa
U-Um... Yeah... Sorry.

Yuka
Pardon her, she's an idiot. Want me to stroke your back?

Claus
...I'm getting better.

Yuka
Well, we did what we came to do.
When that old lady shows up, just tell her you came from another world.

Lucas
Yes, miss.

Marisa
Well, THAT was a huge waste of time. Let's get going.

(Aya comes spinning down with the photographer music.)

Ayaya
It's HYPERSCOOP TIME!

(She takes a picture.)

Ayaya
What a shocker! Yukari's illegitimate children! Twins, even!

Yuka
FAL-CON! PAUUUUUUUUUUNCH!

Lucas
What was that?

Yuka
Don't worry about it.

(The cutscene ends.)

Claus
Oh, Miss Shotac... Miss!

Lucas
The old lady isn't here yet...



[[ Outside Alice's House ]]
You can hear Alice...

Alice
Oho, ohoho... Marisaaa... my Marisaaaaa...

Marisa
...C... Can we go back?

Yuka
...I'll leave that up to you.

Alice
Soon, I shall become one with the 12th dimension...
And so shall Marisa and I be eternally one...

Marisa
...Eep.

(Reimu tries to head past Alice's house.)

Marisa
Escape is futile. Escape is futile. Escape is futile.

Sign
Alice's house. (Temporarily.)



[[ Alice's House ]]
Alice
Oho, ohohohoho... Patchouli won't be having this...

(Alice !'s.)

Alice
W-Welcome, sisters! You have my eternal blessings!

Marisa
Sis... blessings...?
Um, Alice, I came to apologize, but, uh... ...Do you really need me to apologize?

Alice?
...Why, no. After all, you and I are about to become one.

Marisa
...What. Look, Alice, I'M me, not you.

Alice
...Well, then, you. Would you say that Patchouli is... good?

Marisa
"Good" meaning... what?

Maybe Alice
GEEZ, Marisa! I'm doing all this for you just because you're so INDECISIVE!
MARISA! Between me and Patchouli, which one's BETTER?!

Marisa
Haaah?

Alice
B... Between me and Patchouli, who... do you... L-LOVE?!

Marisa
...U-Um, I think I'd better get somebody else's interpretation here.
A magician like me can't understand such matters. Do I make the "lo" and you make the "ve"?

Yuka
I'm guessing it's, like, "Between Alice and Patchouli, who would you be happy with?" Maybe.

Marisa
Oh, well, when you put it like that... That's Patchouli, ze.

(Alice explodes. ...Or something.)

Marisa
She, uh, reads a lot. She can teach me all the stuff I don't know. And there's lots of it.

Yuka
I don't think that's exactly the issue, Marisa...

Alice?
PatCHOUUUUUliiiii... you're dead... I'll MAKE you dead... oho, hohoho...

Marisa
W-Wait, what?! Alice! You know, you're being REALLY weird today, ze!
You aren't cursed or something like all those other guys, are you?!

Former-Alice
You're so cruel, Marisa... But that's why I love you so...

Marisa
Nuts...! Well, we've got to beat her senses back into her!

Yuka
Was she in good senses in the first place?

Marisa
Who knows! Point is, at least the way I see it, this girl is barely even Alice!

Former-Alice
Ah, yes, dolls...! Dolls are that which is made by the love between a couple!

Yuka
...What? That doesn't even make sense.
Did you get dropped on the head as a kid? Here, show me where on this doll.

<< Alice (Sick) >>
Alice (Sick): N-Now... it's a d-d-d... duel...!

Alice (Sick) played the Magic Card "Europe"! (Party loses PP.)

Alice (Sick) played the Magic Card "Death Meteor"!

Alice (Sick) used a double-kick!

Alice (Sick): My pain is your pain...
Alice (Sick) attacked with a tentacle!
<< Alice (Sick) was defeated! >>
Marisa: Hell yeah! I'm invincible! I'm the BEST!!

Alice
Owww...

(Reimu !'s. Alice !'s and runs into the empty space among the Marisa dolls in the corner.)

Alice
...M-Marisa... H-H-Hold on! What did you come here for?!

Marisa
...Ah, yes. We came here to laugh at you.
Gahahahahahahahaaa!

Yuka
Ahahahahahahahaaa!

Marisa
Gahahahaha, gahahahahaaa! Gahahaha, gahahaaa! Hoo.

Alice
...Ooogh...!
Marisa! Everything that just happened... i-it was all me being controlled!
No control! Against my will! Not me at all! ...Understood?!

Marisa
Hm, that's funny. Sakuya and Youmu couldn't remember a thing.

Alice
H... Hmph! Well, they're... different!
Anyway, you came to apologize to me, right? Very well! I forgive you!

Marisa
You're so cruel, Alice... But that's why you love me so...

Alice
Wh...

(Alice runs out. Really fast.)

Alice
...Waaaaah!

Yuka
...You satisfied? Or are you going to run after her?

Marisa
...Wonder if I went too far...?
Eh, it was probably okay. Love-struck girls can be stubborn as hell.
Not to mention there's waaay too big a gap between us. Hell, more like a wall, ze.
And seriously, everybody knows Patchouli's the right answer to that question.

Yuka
I'd like to see you say that to her face...

(Reimu looks at a Marisa doll.)

Marisa
Hey, it's my doll!



[[ Outside Alice's House ]]
Yukari
...Reimu.

Marisa
What's the deal, Yukari? You're looking remarkably suspicious, there.

Yukari
...Where did you get that idea?
...Reimu, the human village has been destroyed.

Yuka
Huh? What do you mean?

Yukari
...I mean precisely what I said. The human village has been destroyed.

Yuka
...?

Yukari
Hurry and see for yourself. I would tell you to ask the local humans, but... well, they are gone.

(Yukari teleports away.)

Ran
Please get some rest.

(Reimu tries to go north past Alice's house.)

Marisa
That's not the way, ze.



[[ Human Village ]]
Marisa
Seriously? Like, she meant that literally?! Geez, she could have been a little clearer.
Are the humans safe?

Yuka
...Well... not looking good on that front.

(Rinnosuke is lying down in the middle of the ruins.)

Marisa
Kourin! You're alive?!

Rinnosuke
...Ah, yes, somehow. Marisa, or so it would appear?

Marisa
Stay calm! ...Oh, you already are. What the bullets happened here?

Rinnosuke
...I came to deliver this supply of Pencil Rockets to the village children.
...Then, swooping down from the sky... were aliens.
The village was annihilated.
Miss Keine and Miss Mokou were fighting at the time. ...But, no need to worry about them.
...Our worries should lie with the humans of the village. They've all been taken away somewhere.

Marisa
...Man, what the hell!

Rinnosuke
Marisa. ...This current incident seems... rather out of the ordinary.
Such things have never happened before.

Marisa
...Yeah.

Rinnosuke
Take these along. Just this once, I'll offer whatever strength I can.

Marisa
Kourin... ...Got it, ze. I'll do what I can! But mostly, Reimu will.

Rinnosuke
...Please.

Got Pop Rocks!
Got Mind Bullets!
Got a Nailgun!
Got a Wooden Shield!
Got Mister Hat!
Got a Sailor Suit!

Rinnosuke
Well, I'm heading home.

(Rinnosuke walks away.)

Marisa
...Well, now what? We've kinda run out of places to go.

Yuka
...Must we really resort to aimless wandering?

Marisa
...Isn't there somewhere we haven't gone yet?

Yuka
...So there is. Right, then, to Udon's.



[[ Bamboo Forest ]]
(Reimu finds a magic butterfly.)

Reimu ate the magic butterfly!
Reimu felt very relaxed.

Marisa
T-That's not for eating!

(Reimu !'s.)



[[ Bamboo Forest - Cutscene ]]
(Mother 3 Love Theme plays.)

Sanae
The darkness is thick; still, I wait for you. Hearing words I do not know, becoming scared.

Porky
Lost and lonely child, although in despair, gathering up all his strength to go ahead.

Sanae
I don't know where to go. This is my life, and also yours.
Even on my own, I watch you leave me, walking right before my eyes, lighting the way.

(The music stops.)

Patchouli
...Well?

Porky
It's quite... easy to learn.

Sanae
...Yeah. Could use some work.

Marisa
Yo, Patchouli 'n' Porky. What are you doing out here?

Patchouli
Well, I figured that since Sanae was a human from the outside world, she might know something.
Could tell me of places I'd never heard of... Could bring to the unknown to light...

Sanae
Good day. Yeah, that song was basically written to be easy to sing.

Yuka
...On the other hand?

Sanae
On the other hand...

(The music stops.)

Sanae
...What do you think of THIS?

(Rhythm Emotion from some Gundam plays.)

Sanae
I just feel rhy-th-m emo-o-tiooon! Playing along to the beat of my heeeart!
And I contiiinue, heading towaaard you, so far awaaaaay...
If... I am but wounded, that's just fiiine; my eyes will never stray from the skyyy! With such warmth, with such intensity, I want to be-LIEEEEEVE!

(The song abruptly stops.)

Porky
You lost me.

Suwako
Man, Sanae! You're like a kid who won't throw out her teddy bear!

Marisa
...People from the outside world fondly remember some weird-ass things.

Sanae
...Well, it IS where I was born, you know.

Suwako
You watch WAY too much anime! Or used to, until 2007.

Marisa
Uh, what's anime?

Yuka
It uses countless sheets of stacked paper to give the appearance of a moving picture.

Marisa
How'd you know that?

Yuka
A long time ago, I went into the outside world during a storm.
So I saw many such things then.
Such as the Falcon Punch.

Marisa
Hm, maybe I'll check it out too sometime. ...Uh, just kidding, Reimu.
I don't have time to spend trying to smash through the Hakurei Border, anyway.

Sanae
My world, huh... I really miss it.
Big City Colas, hamburgers, french fries...
There's so much stuff there I never see anymore here...

Marisa
Aw, how touching. ...So you wanna go back, right?

Sanae
...Sometimes. I've really come to miss it. And there's a whole bunch of games I never beat.

Suwako
Believe it or not, she's really into Metroid. She beat Fusion with 1%.

Marisa
No idea what you're talking about, but cool story, miko. If you wanna, Sanae, you should show me sometime!

Sanae
Right... if I can.

Marisa
Sweet. Well, if you'll excuse us, we were heading to Udon's. See ya, everybody!

Sanae
Right, see you. Don't lose to any weird monsters, okay?



[[ Bamboo Forest - Uber Wood Pen ]]
Marisa
Um, do they even WANNA kill us?



[[ Outside Eientei ]]
Udon
...Leave now, if you please.

Marisa
...Man, I didn't even say anything yet, ze.

Udon
The mistresses are too busy at the moment to spare time for anyone.

Udun
Doing one of their psychotic experiments again, it would seem.

Marisa
Man, that sounds a TON like what you said first time we met.

(Eirin comes out.)

Eirin
What's up?

(Reisen !'s.)

Eirin
Ah, if it isn't Reimu...

Eiriiiiin!
...Aha, so that's it. Then why don't you just take this...

Eirin produced the Broken Bazooka and slowly pulled the trigger.
Music flowed from the bazooka! Reimu remembered the melody.

Marisa
Oh. It's just a sound-makey thing.

Eirin
Sorry about that. I'm really quite busy at the moment, so if you'll excuse me... See ya.

(Eirin goes back inside.)

Udon
...
...

Marisa
Reisen, you look crazy out of sorts. Something up?

Reisen
Oh, it's nothing. It's just... no... nothing.

Marisa
Huh? Don't wanna say?

Udon
...It's nothing. ...I'm telling you, it's nothing...

Marisa
...Man, I don't get you. Well, call us if anything comes up, yeah?

Udon
...Bye...

Marisa
...Welp, coming back empty-handed again. Help us, Yuka-rin!

Yuka
Strange how you, of all people, would come to depend on me, of all people.
If you want info, get it yourself. That's a rule.

Marisa
How 'bout the mountain? Where the windy old priestess lives.

Yuka
I, uh... I think you mean "wind priestess."

Marisa
Yeah, sure, what you said! Alright, that's our next stop!

(A gap appears outside Eientei after the cutscene.)

The world shall gradually be filled with gaps.



[[ Forest of Magic - Marisa's House ]]
(There's a ship from R-Type outside Marisa's house.)

There's a note attached.

Nitori
To my good friend Marisa. I'm writing you this with a broken typewriter Suwako gave me.
Hello! And... goodbye! No, that's not it. Hello! Marisa!
Ze blewprints eye got from u... No, that's not it!
The blueprints I got from you, I didn't really understand, but I tried building from them anyway.
And it turned out to be a spacechip! No, that's not it... Anyway, Marisa!
I name it... the R-9N (for Nitori)!
Anytime you wanna meet me, use this and you'll be there in a flash!
But, yeah, I know. This is Mother, after all. So it's gonna have to crash, right?
Anybody'd think so. Me included. A refrigerator'd fly more safely.
But you're PROBABLY bound to be okay. Crash or no.
If you don't wanna fly it, I'm okay with that.
...But man, I worked through the night on it, so I was kinda hoping you would.
If you flew it, it'd make me really happy, ze. I mean, happy, y'know.
...No, never mind me. It really is some risky business.
...Yeah. Bye.

Marisa
Alright! Enough, already.

Yuka
Yikes, it reads like a bad love letter. Even if it didn't have the typos... bleh.

Marisa
So where to?

Yuka
Wherever you like! But, in my opinion... you oughta go see the girl who wants to see you.

Marisa
...

Yuka
Oh, man up, Marisa.
When'd your relationship with Nitori get like that?
If you were going to meet Reimu, would you even care if it crashed or not?

Marisa
Um... Maybe... It's just that she's kinda... prone to make mistakes.

Yuka
...Seeing as this is you, you meant to say she's a screwup. So why didn't you just say that?

Marisa
Nah, she's not a screwup by any means.
Heck, Nitori's taught me a ton of stuff about science and all that.
Though I didn't know about her working through the night on stuff...

Yuka
...

The note continues.

Nitori
By the way, Marisa, I found a rare mushroom, but...

(Marisa gets in the ship.)

Yuka
You are the biggest pansy.

(The others get on and the ship takes off into the sky.)

Got a Laser Crystal.

Got a Power Capsule.

(Iku runs into the ship and !'s.)

Miss Iku
Oooops!
...I believe I just collided with something. But nothing remains, so I wager it was my imagination.
More importantly, I must notify the humans on the surface.
Before long, something will occur to shake all Gensokyo. The dragons have so spoken.
But as usual, their message is much too vague. I do not at all understand what they meant to say.
Be there no dragons capable of speaking more simply?



[[ Youkai Mountain - Helipad ]]
Marisa
Man, freakin' called that crash!



[[ Youkai Mountain ]]
Marisa
Such a peculiar... mountain.

(White-haired tengu.)

Wonder why I've got all this white hair. I'm still young, I swear!

(Blue-haired tengu.)

Welcome to the tengu mountain!

("melon" shop.)

Marisa
Wonder if I can buy Suguri here...

Yuka
Man, at least try to say something Touhou-related.

("Bourbon" shop.)

Marisa
Reimu! Not in broad daylight!

You ignored her.
You drank it down and felt great.

(Tora no Ana.)

Marisa
Still no Bonobono 31...?

Yuka
Man, at least try to say something Touhou-related.

(Yellow-haired tengu.)

Sometimes, the S.S. Komachi Special comes along here.

(Green-haired tengu.)

Hey, you, eat curry.

(UNIQLO.)

You don't have the proper clothes to wear to go clothes shopping.

("Pizza" shop.)

It's too expensive, so Reimu didn't dare step in.

(Big gray building.)

Just looks like a plain old apartment complex.

("di" building.)

It's of no concern.

("Book off" building.)

There aren't any books in particular you want.

(Glitchy tengu outside glitchy building.)

Wild MISSINGNO. appeared!

(Hotel for Two.)

Yuka
This is too suspicious... Get away...!
What would you come to a place like this for?!

Marisa
R-Reimu, i-if you want, I'm a-always ready, ze...

(Yuka explosively pulls them back.)

Yuka forcibly made that a "no"!



[[ Youkai Mountain - Bydo ]]
(Koitsu from Parodius.)

Koitsu.

(Power Capsule from Gradius.)

Power Capsule.
Once collected, they can be used for various upgrades.
Speed Up!

(Vic Viper from Gradius.)

From Gradius, the Vic Viper.
Rated four stars. Attack: 1400. Defense: 1200.

(Laser Crystal from R-Type.)

Laser Crystal, red. The Forces act as anti-air equipment.

(R-9 from R-Type.)

The original R-Type, the R-9 Arrowhead.

(Green-haired tengu.)

Kid Dracula's gotta be the strongest guy in Parodius.

(Arcade cabinets, from left to right.)

"Battle Garegga," it says.

"Dodonpachi," it says.

"Image Fight," it says.

No way... "Cho Aniki," it says. Why's it in an arcade? Don't ask me.

(White-haired tengu in front of Dodonpachi cabinet.)

Man, I didn't even know bullet hell games of this caliber existed.

(Orange-haired tengu in front of Cho Aniki cabinet.)

Ohohohoho... Anikiii...



[[ Nitori's House ]]
Marisa
Yo, Nitori. We came, as your headache-inducing note asked.

Nitori
Ah, Marisa! My head was aching pretty bad at the time, too. Hangover, you know.
Could have done without that one. Anyway, good you listened.
How 'bout it? R-9N control well? Crash?

Marisa
Yep, crashed and burned.

Nitori
Yeah, I called it. I'd have been surprised if it hadn't.

Marisa
Hey, don't send us crap that's gonna crash.

Nitori
Ah, but Marisa, making it out okay even if you crash is Nitori quality.
You didn't take a lick of damage, am I right?

Marisa
Yeah, I guess...

(Nitori !'s.)

Nitori
...Gah! Youkai?!

Yuka
...Um, yeah? So are you! I think that's supposed to be Reimu's line.
Or Marisa's. Actually, why DOESN'T she mind you?

Nitori
Oh, Miko's fine, but I'd rather not compare her to Marisa.
No, that's not it. I couldn't possibly compare them.
Marisa and I would be willing to drink out of the same bottle of sake.

Marisa
Buh? I don't drink your cucumber-flavored beer, though.

Nitori
So, is this veggie youkai one of Marisa's companions?

Veggie
...

Marisa
Yeah, sure.

Nitori
That so...
Marisa, it's a bit sudden, but can I ask you something?

Marisa
Zeh? Shoot.

Nitori
These screwy monsters have been settling down on the mountain.
I've tried going up and fighting with tengu, but no matter how many of us, we come back defeated.

Marisa
Wall of text!

Nitori
Mari strong! You, go me! SMAAAAAASH dudes?

Marisa
What kind of dudes?

Nitori
Man, I dunno... Not especially human, I guess, more like some rare youkai.

Marisa
Ooh, I like rare stuff.

Nitori
So, you coming, Marisa?

Marisa
Sounds great, ze. But first, gimme that rare mushroom.

Nitori
Got it, got it. Here ya go.

(Nitori hands Marisa a mushroom.)

Marisa
What the?

Nitori
It's called a Tanetane Island Mushroom. You gonna eat it? You gotta be interested, right?

Marisa
...Uh, I DO know what they do, actually.

Nitori
Okay, fine! If it'll mean Marisa helping me out, I'll throw in this, too!

(Nitori produces a SMB mushroom.)

Marisa
...Whoa. You PROMISE to give me that, right?

Nitori
You're like a mushroom otaku, right, Marisa? So you know this one too?

Marisa
'Course I know, machine otaku. Makes you big, right? Y'know... there.

Nitori
Wh...?! Marisaaa... It's so famous... It's the WHOLE body, not just...!

Marisa
I know, Nitori, I know. I was just joking.

Nitori
Okay, good.

Marisa
But it WOULD make your chest bigger too, right?

Nitori
About five times the size, yeah.

Marisa
Yikes, say no more. I wouldn't even want that, ze.

Nitori
ANYway, you'll help out, right, pal?

Marisa
Oh! Yeah, sorry, you distracted me with your, uh, bribe! Count me in!

Nitori
So it's settled! I know you'll be a great help. Hey, you coming too?

Yuka
...Sure.

Nitori
Alright! Time for Monster Hunter Nitori to get crackin'!

Marisa
Our objective: suppressing youkai!

Nitori joined the party!



[[ Inside Youkai Mountain ]]
Reimu opened the present.
Inside, the Loch Ness Monster is dancing!
Reimu couldn't look at it any longer!

(Reimu crosses some water with a rope that looks more like it's going up.)

Marisa
...Is this, uh, okay? I mean, really, this is kinda screwing with my head.

(Soon after...)

Nitori
It seems to be getting a little dark, so let's sing.

Marisa
I don't think I follow your little choo-choo train of thought, there.

Nitori
It's the only connection between wolves and marchers.
Singers and poets worldwide would not approve of the lack of melodies being composed here.

(The music stops.)

Nitori
Nitori's just a kappa, and she's lost. She's on a journey, carried by her heart.
She loves to wander, no matter the cost. Glad for her friends, they'll never be apart.

Marisa
Is that all you wanted to say?

Nitori
Yep!

Marisa
Barkeep, I think there's something off in those cucumbers.

Yuka
Oh, shut it.

(Reimu can't climb one of the ropes.)

Ant
Don't step on meee! ...Ahem, you CANNOT step on me!



[[ Inside Youkai Mountain - One Big Hole ]]
Nitori
Something gross spurted out! Nitori turned into Rotten Bread.

Marisa
Hey, why'd that happen?! Don't worry, I'll still eat you!

Nitori
Ah, nooo! Stooop! I'm small, dirty, and not very delicious!

Yuka
Oh, shut it.

Nitori
Oh no, it's hopeless! She can't hear my cries for help!

Marisa
EHHH? SHE CAN'T HEEEAR?!

Yuka
...Oh, come on...



[[ Inside Youkai Mountain - Two Big Hole ]]
Nitori
I'm thirsty.

Marisa
Let me guess, you drank something sticky that's clogging up your throat?

Yuka
It begins.

Marisa
Was it that one drink from the outside world? Calpis or whatever?

Nitori
Do you think water'll do any good?

Marisa
Achoo! ACHOOOOO!

Nitori
Whoa, it cleared up.

(Reimu takes two steps.)

Nitori
Gurk...! Ooh...! My arm won't settle down...

Yuka
Can't you EVER be quiet?

Nitori
Yuka. *hop* Don't be so close-minded. Try some cucumbers. Cuuucuuumbeeers.

Yuka
Oh, shut it.



[[ Youkai Mountain - Summit ]]
ENERGY RECHARGE COMPLETED

Marisa
...And this is?

Nitori
Oh, yeah...
That's pretty kickin' rad. This is the guy everybody had nightmares about, right?

Marisa
Oh, him. Yeah, maybe, if you were Japanese.

Yuka
Geez, why's such an obscure joke got to play such a big part?
Do you even know who this guy we're gonna fight IS?!

Marisa
Oh, I'm pretty sure we all do. Certainly can't say the same for our English audience, though.

Nitori
If you're interested, though, go look for a Japanese game called Ginga no San-nin!

Yuka
Oh, SHUT IT!

<< Galbangor >>
Sensors are detecting the presence of enemies.
Enemy: Galbangor. Count: 1.

Galbangor's attack. (Five attacks.)

Galbangor used Foggy ESP.

Galbangor used Energy ESP.
<< Galbangor was defeated! >>

Objective completed!
Returning to the village in 20 seconds.

Nitori
Well, let's go!

?
Please wait!

(Iku flies down from the sky.)

Marisa
Miss Iku! Why, it's good ol' Miss Iku!

Nitori
Miss Iku...

Yuka
Oh, shut it.

Marisa
What's up to make you come here?

Iku
It has been some time, everyone.

Yuka
'Cept for when you crashed into us earlier.

Iku
...Ah? Oh, well, I don't mind. ...I guess.
In truth... I desire that you hand over Mr. Porky.

Marisa
...What's that? Why would you ask us to do that?

Iku
The dragons of the sky have so spoken. Perhaps. It's all very ambiguous.
"Something shall creep into this world... And that man will then destroy it."
I did not know who that referred to at the time, but now, I at last feel certain.
There is only one who it could possibly describe. Porky. It is he.

Marisa
So, what happens if we don't?

Iku
I do not understand the ways of the dragons. ...
...But, right. If you do not do as I ask... I shall say it plainly.

(Sanctuary music starts.)

Iku
A war of destruction will then ensue.

Marisa
!

Yuka
Started by a mere human? Really?

Iku
Regardless of that fact, there is no mistaking that he must be driven out of this world.
He, on his own, is a great threat... perhaps. I source the dragons on this matter.

Marisa
...Man, REALLY?!

Iku
...I beg you, hand him over.

Marisa
Decided nuts to that a WHILE ago!

Iku
...I thought as much. He must be so satisfied to have come upon such good friends.

<< Miss Iku >>
Miss Iku dropped something on the ground!

Miss Iku extended a heavenly garment to attack! Bravo!

Miss Iku: Thunder of Justice!
Miss Iku called down the thunder!

Miss Iku attacked with a drill! Drillululululu!
<< Miss Iku was defeated! >>

Iku
...So that is your choice. Very well, then.
...However, you must know that I can never approve of it.

(Reimu turns around and !'s at the bomb Iku dropped at the start of the battle.)

Iku
You got the booooomb! (Said to Zelda item jingle.)

(The bomb explodes and everyone collapses. And Yuka's hat falls off!)

Iku
...Well then, I suppose I have to go searching by myself now.
...By the way, was there even a reason for that fight?

(Fade out and back in. Iku's gone and Cirno walks up.)

Cirno
Ahhh... Now that I finally got away from those losers, I guess it doesn't matter where I go.
This is for Rumia!

(Cirno knocks Nitori off the cliff.)

Cirno
This is for Wriggle!

(Cirno knocks Yuka off the cliff.)

Cirno
This is for Misty!

(Cirno knocks Marisa off the cliff.)

Cirno
And this... is for MEEE!

(Cirno knocks Reimu off the cliff.)



[[ Youkai Mountain - Hole ]]
(Reimu !'s.)

Marisa
You finally up?

Yuka
Owww... what a jerk...
Even I fell for that stupid trap of hers somehow...

Nitori
Oh yeah, we fell for it hard.

Yuka
Oh, shut it. Everybody okay?

Marisa
I'm beat... I don't even wanna walk...

Yuka
Flying's better anyway.

Marisa
Uh, I don't think I could fly if I can't walk...

Nitori
Well, I'm... mostly okay, I guess.

Yuka
Pfft, as if I'd NOT be okay. Forget the fact that I looked pretty knocked out back there.

Nitori
Okay, so everybody's okay. Well, let's get back home pronto.

(A purple tree blocks the exit.)

A strange enemy is blocking the way!

Nitori
...I'm tired.

Marisa
Man, I don't feel energetic at all...

Yuka
Oh, shut it... We've gotta do something...

Nitori
I'm hungryyy. I'm thristyyy. Marisa, do you have anything left to drink?

Marisa
...Sorry, looks like it all got messed up in the fall.

Nitori
...Oh, nooo... The dryness is too much! We're gonna DIEEE! Hurryyy! Wateeer! Foooood!

Marisa
...And, uh, all I've got to eat are those mushrooms from earlier.

Nitori
...Well, then that's our final option.

Yuka
...Hold up. You mean the "medicinal" mushrooms? Didn't you have the Super Mushroom, too?

Marisa
Nope, I've only got these get-better mushrooms...

Yuka
You HUGE JERK!

Marisa
Look, it's fine! You eat 'em, I'll eat 'em!
Reimu, how 'bout you? ...Thinking? Alright, fine.

(Marisa, um, hangs them up on the rope that happens to be on the wall. In a present box.)

Marisa
...I'll hang 'em up over here. What you'll do with them is up to you.

(Reimu goes straight for them.)

Yuka
As if hanging food on convenient ropes in convenient present boxes makes it more appetizing!
...But hey, what else can we do... We can't really count on something better popping up.

Nitori
...Yeah, I guess.

Reimu's party ate the get-better mushrooms!



[[ Mountainside - Eloh ]]
As expected, WHOOOOOAAAAA!

Yuka
Sister Reimu... Are you pleased to be feeling?

Nitori
I'm feeling more normal than ever, gyokko! These mushrooms sure are edible, gyokko!

Marisa
Ack... Guess that didn't turn out so well... What a mess, ze.
Now I'll have to do something, I guess...
Zeh? Why am I fine, you ask? ...Well, this isn't really anything unusual for me, is it?
I'm always eating this and that kind of wacky mushroom, Reimu.
Anyway, I'm taking charge now! Everybody follows me!

Yuka
Oh, Miss Marisa, you're so manly.

Nitori
Raymoo, did the mushrooms mess you up, gyokko?

Marisa
Don't worry about it, you guys're all messed up. Seriously, follow me.

Nitori
Waaaaah! Gyokkaaaaah!

Yuka
Oh, Miss Nitori, what DOES make you so frolicky?

(The tree's turned into Claus.)

Claus
Ahaha.



[[ Mountainside ]]
(Reimu.)

Reimu
My name is Reimu. My name is Reimu.

(Yuka.)

Yuka
Remember your place. Even if I rot in this desperate world, I don't mind.

(Alice.)

Alice
Marisa, why won't you look at me? Marisa, why won't youyou meme marisamarisamarisa.

(Remilia.)

Remilia
Marisa, Master Marisa, your family is waiting...
Gwaaaaargh!



[[ Mountainside - Summit ]]
Miss Iku
...Ah?

Marisa
Miss Ikuuu... It hurts... It huuurts... I'm... sad... Miss Ikuuu...

Miss Iku
W-What on earth happened?!

Nitori
Ahhh... ahhh... ooh... I feel... good... Miss Ikuuu...

Miss Iku
...Don't tell me... Did you all eat something off?

Yuka
Mushroooooms... Miss Ikuuu...

Miss Iku
...Then you are hopeless.

Marisa
Y'know, this is all YOUR fault, moron.

Miss Iku
...Excuse me. To be truthful, I came here to help you.
I am, in fact, on my own. After our encounter, I went to see Porky, and...
Truly, how could he be as dreadful as they say? I cannot understand.
Just as you said, there is no reason why he should possess such great power...
...What is it that terrifies the dragons so...?

(Iku !'s.)

Miss Iku
Perhaps they were merely talking in their sleep!

Yuka
Look, we get it. We're kinda poisoned in the meantime, so hurry up and maketh you a decision.

Miss Iku
Maketh me...? Miss Yuka, such language seems remarkably unbefitting of you.

Yuka
Thy eloquent manner of speaking hath reared in me a verily sillier variant.

Nitori
What's more important is that you get us some FOOD and WATER already, you WHOREFISH!

Miss Iku
...Er, Miss Marisa. Why, exactly, are you still normal?

Marisa
'Cause I'm me. I scared the poison away.

Miss Iku
...Everyone. Arrange yourselves in a line, if you would.

(Iku stands behind the line.)

Miss Iku
Now, I'm going to try a poison-removal technique passed down in the Dragon Palace. Please, stay perfectly still.
Marisa, you ought to step out of the line.

Marisa
Oh, sure, forget about me. Leave ME outta the party. Hmph.

(The screen fades to black, then there's a yellow flash.)

Nitori
Gyokkooooowwwwww! It's super-effective!

(Another.)

Yuka
Bzzzt! Even from oarfish!

(And another.)

Reimu suffered major damage. Reimu couldn't stand up.

Marisa
...Uh, sorry to insult you, Miss Iku.

Miss Iku
No, it is I who should be sorry.



[[ Youkai Mountain Other Summit ]]
Miss Iku
Now, it is time for me to return to the heavens.
I should think I shall speak with the dragons once more.

Marisa
What, you goin' already? Eat some of these mushrooms first.

Miss Iku
...Nay. So.

(Iku jumps into the sky.)

Miss Iku
Haaauh!

Marisa
Hm, Celestials tend to go "Haaauh!" Maybe she's training to become one.

Nitori
Woooh... my head hurts...

Yuka
...What a nightmare. And hate it admit it, but Marisa handled it well.
Thank you once more, lady of the broom. Or something like that.

Marisa
Aw, shucks.
So, what, is this supposed to be twilight?

Nitori
I'm thirsty, I'm hungry! Feed me feed me!
...Um, I think the Moriya Shrine is really close by.

Yuka
Shall we visit? Just for a meal, hopefully.

Marisa
Um, SHALL we?

(Reimu walks not very far to a cliff with a Suwako hat on the end.)

Suwako
Welcome to Moriya Shrine. Wecomel to Shoriyamine.

Yuka
Stop it.

Suwako
Moriya Shrine's just below if you *hop* down!

Nitori
Wa-hey! Nitori's gonna have to juuump!

Yuka
What, seriously?

Suwako
ARE YOU READY?!

Marisa
Yep!

Suwako
.........GO! 

Marisa
WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
YAHOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Suwako
Wrong way.

Marisa
YAHOOOOOHHHHH?!

(The screen shakes. Everyone turns around and Yuka runs off the right side.)

Yuka
Hyoh!

(Nitori runs off.)

Nitori
Jump on i...! ACK!

(Reimu just kinda walks off.)

Reimu casually flew down.



[[ Moriya Shrine ]]
Patchouli
Oh? If it isn't Marisa. Why are you here?

Marisa
We came for Kanako.
You know, the one with the big-ass Onbashiras growing out of her back. The stubborn, fat one.

Nitori
Well, THAT'S not very nice.

Patchouli
Stop right there! You people...

Marisa
So what's up with you, Patchouli?

Yuka
Marisa? What's up with YOU?

Marisa
I think there's something you're forgetting? You know, that should be back at the Mansion?

Patchouli
...Come this way.

(Patchouli walks up to, um, Porky being sacrificed.)

Sanae
Ancient wind! Eggnog of wind!

Kanako
Curry of the flame! Superspicy curry!

Sanae
And just a little bit of onion.

Kanako
With this, I call you out of eternal slumber, just as was said in the ancient contract.

Sanae
Was it all for naught?!

Yuka
Um, if something DID happen, would that make this RIGHT?!

Sanae
Lady Yasaka, in all her wisdom, is attempting a process of restoring memories.

Lady Yasaka
Come on, already! Who do you think I am?!

Nitori
I can't believe this is supposed to be a god.

Marisa
What's with these people and their magic squares, anyway?

Kanako
Not yet! It's not over yet!
The King of Hearts! Sparkle in this storm!

Suwako
Ya mixed it too much.

Marisa
...Porky, you okay?

Porky
...Weeeo. MizZ MarizA! WhaT arE yoU doinG herE, clicK?

Marisa
Ah, uh... Well, isn't that odd.

Kanako
There's nothing to worry about.

Yuka
Is it really okay to fraternize with former enemies of Gensokyo?

Marisa
Sure, happens all the time.
Hey, lil' Sanae. You found any melodies?

Lil' Sanae
No, I haven't found anything... I apologize for not being of use.

Marisa
What about granny?

(Pause.)

Marisa
I mean, crap, Kanako Yasaka.

Kanako
Do you WANT me to kill you? And no, I have not. I hadn't even heard about any of this.

Marisa
...So, great, that was COMPLETELY pointless.

Nitori
Quickly, to Africa!

(Momiji - as an actual dog - falls from the sky with the photographer music.)

Momiji
Woof! (My colleague is in critical condition after being beaten senseless.)
Arf! (So I've come to take a photo in her place!)
Woof! (While I am a dog, let it be known that Momiji can take on the hat.)
Woof! (Line up, everyone! It was tough getting here, so I want to take a good photo!)
Fuzzy Pickles! (Woof!)

(Momiji takes a picture and leaves.)

Marisa
Man, is she really gonna WALK back?

Kanako
Odd. She came quite a long way.

Marisa
Well, we don't have time for this nonsense.
Actually, I'm not sure if we're busy or have way too much free time, but one thing is certain.
YOU need to get us some freakin' DINNER!

Kanako
You'd do better to request that of a HUMAN, fool.

Sanae
Okay, okay, it's fine.
Just hold on while I make preparations.

Marisa
Understood, cap'n.

(Sanae walks over to a Metroid missile door, ...'s, and fires five missiles at it to enter.)

Sanae
Who would put a missile door in a place like that?
Ohhh, Lady Suwako! You've been SO untidy!
Why, the looks on your parents' faces...!

Suwako
Hey, I'd like to see my parents' faces, too!

Marisa
Quiet, you.

Sanae
ACCELERAAAAATE!
Ding! Food's ready!

Marisa
What the HELL are you people teaching her?

Dinner was a war. Fortunately, there weren't too many casualties.
Then, that night.



[[ Moriya Shrine - Some Cliff ]]
Porky
...

(Marisa walks up.)

Marisa
Went out to feel the night wind, and whaddya know, it's you. Man, it's dusk already?

Porky
...Lady Marisa. Could you... return that yoyo to me?

Marisa
Oh, sure thing, ze. Thanks, by the way.

Returned the Friend's Yoyo.

Porky
...

Marisa
What up? You worried about somethin'? You wanna tell ol' Marisa?

Porky
...
...Lady Marisa. I've finally... well, a few of my memories have returned.
...And they're all terrible. All painful, sad things...
I'll only tell this to you, Lady Marisa. I... don't want any more of my memories to return.
...Strange, isn't it?

Marisa
...'Course there are gonna be bad memories.
Even I've got 'em. Like the time I got kicked outta my house. ...But y'know what?
You can't forget, else you lose something forever. Everything you once had, up and gone.
...So what's it matter if you've got memories you don't wanna remember, too?
Geez, you gonna face me or what, ze?
You've got me, Patchouli, everybody on your side. You're just fine.

Porky
...Thank you.

Patchouli
Even on totally out-of-character matters, you can really prattle on, can't you?

(Patchouli slowly makes her way over to Marisa.)

Marisa
Sure can, ze. Ain't I just cool like that?

Patchouli
Oh, sure.

(Marisa turns to Porky.)

Marisa
Right, Porky. I'mma lend you this.

Porky
...What's this?

Marisa
It's a star-shaped yoyo. I made it overnight.
Soon as I made it, I figured I wouldn't be using it myself.
But it's just a loan, got it? You'd better give it back later.
And Patchouli, I'll lend you this.

Patchouli
What's this? A bookmark?

Marisa
Yeah, a sun bookmark. Need as much of it as you can get, after all.

Patchouli
...Why on earth are you doing this?

Marisa
Oh, it's a miracle, alright. This lending, borrowing business.
But it's not the giving and receiving you remember, it's who's doing it...
...'Cause, after all, you gotta give it back to them someday.
I guess you'd call it... a link between friends.
So this means I get to borrow a ton of books in return, right, Patchouli?

Patchouli
...Perhaps occasionally... if you would return what you borrow from me. Bye.

Marisa
Aw, so only a few, then?
Fwaaah... I'm getting sleepy, too. See ya.

(Marisa leaves. A Starman beams in behind Porky.)

Starman
Reimu and company still haven't *whirr* noticed anything?

Porky
No, and they totally underestimate me. Perfect, huh? We'll have no problem taking this heap.

Starman
Yes, things are coming along *beep* nicely. We shall destroy the *bzzt* Hakurei Shrine.

Porky
Well, what are you here for, then?!

Starman
...Brat. So not even Lord Giygas's *click* confidant understands us, is that it?

(The Starman leaves.)

Porky
Hmph. Freakin' spacenoids, I tell you.
...Got it. Guess that's what I'll do...



[[ Moriya Shrine - Inside? ]]
Marisa
Whoa, breakfast, too? You shouldn't have.

Yuka
You complaining?

Sanae
What, is something wrong?

(Porky runs in.)

Porky
S-S-V-V-S-S-V-Something's VERY wrong!

Marisa
Run that by me in English.

Porky
A group of aliens are assembling very near the Hakurei Shrine!

Marisa
Say WHAT again?!

Yuka
Reimu, we need you on the scene, pronto! You've got to track this crime to its source.

Marisa
Hey, you're comin' too.

Yuka
I know, you don't need to tell me. I'm slow, but I'm not THAT kind of slow.

Marisa
...

Yuka
Now, chop-chop, let's get going!

Marisa
No need to get pushy.

Nitori
What's all the noise about? I bet I'm gonna be needed for something.

Marisa
Listen up, Nitori. Yuka's turned into a NEET.

Nitori
Don't NEETs have to be, you know, young?

Yuka
Yeah, I'm totally ineligible. How old am I, again?
What was it, Nitori? Something around 300?

Nitori
...
Anyway, Marilyn! I completed an upgraded version of the R-9N you crashed yesterday!

Marisa
Yikes, you work fast!

Nitori
I name it... the R-9N-D (for Delta)!
Now hurry up and take a ride!

Marisa
Oh! A rental!



[[ Moriya Shrine ]]
Yuka
...Is the R for refrigerator?

Marisa
Uh, Nitori. I don't really wanna have to say this either, but...
Are you RETARDED?

Nitori
Trust me! Get in, get in!

(They do.)

Marisa
It's too cold.

Yuka
I'm afraid of heights.

Marisa
I ain't goin'.

Nitori
...You chickens.
Okay! Bye bye, Marisa!

Marisa
Huh? You're not coming?

Nitori
No, I lead a busy life of splurging on stuff at hardware stores.

Marisa
Uh, okay... See ya!

Nitori
Now, go!

(The R-9N-D takes off into the sky, chases and runs over a !-ing Iku, and crashes into the Hakurei Shrine.)

The Hakurei Shrine gave its final breath.

Marisa
Reimu...
Nitori is really absent-minded, that's true.
You'll forgive that absent-minded kappa, won't you?

Yuka
Oh, shut it.



[[ Crossroads ]]
(There's an octopus statue lying around.)

For some weird reason, an octopus-shaped statue is blocking the path.

Marisa
Hold it, hobo! Somebody's there!

Yuka
These must be the guys!

(Pan over to two Starmen in front of a gap.)

Starman
I see. I have heard the rumors. What a stubbon *beep* world.
Yet, its end only *whirr* grows nearer.
That so-called-god was *bzzt* very much correct about living things.
If we merely procure their faith, our safety shall be *click* secured.
It shall no longer be necessary to *bzzt* follow the pig.

(The Starmen take the gap. Alice walks in.)

Marisa
Alice?!

Alice
...

(Alice takes the gap.)

Marisa
...No way, she's... Don't tell me she's our enemy now...?



[[ Starman Hideout - Area A ]]
Suwako
*hop* A notice.
This dungeon is pretty long, so to prevent any accidents, lots of it will be omitted.



[[ Starman Hideout - Area D ]]
(Following a normal save with Suwako...)

Suwako
By the way, didn't you think the enemies here were a bit too ridiculous?
It was reminding me of FF4's Tower of Zott, and that worried me.
< Yes / No >

[ Yes ]
Suwako
You're right, I really messed up the balance. Thanks for being honest.

Ribbity healed you to full strength!

Suwako
Note to self: give out recovery before boss fights. Got it.



[[ Starman Hideout - Lab ]]
(The screen flashes.)

Marisa
What the?!

(Reimu walks up to see Alice having fallen to a Starman.)

What?! Alice has been defeated!

Marisa
Alice!

Alice
...Marisa... You came, too...? This isn't a dream, is it...?

Marisa
Don't speak! Even a youkai...!

Alice
Marisa... When I look back, I wonder what I was doing to end up in this position.
I don't know why, but something in my head must have shorted to make me blurt out those things.
Marisa... No, that's a lie. Well, a half-lie... or something.
Now... Even if I tried to look strong... It would do no good...
...The only other person who was ever important to me was you...
Why, why, why, I wondered... Why did I want so much for you alone to be at my side...?
Unable to answer that question, what I told you was nearly always distorted.
So I tried to be of help to you. I tried to investigate these guys... and...
...I only wanted you. Only for you to be at my side. That's all...
...But the end has come. I'm dead.

Marisa
H... H-Hey... Hold up, Alice...!

Alice
...I'm glad you could be with me at my last...

Marisa
Alice...!
I-I'm sorry! If I doubted you even ONCE, please, forgive me...!

Alice
It's fine. That's all... in... the... past...

Alice fell into a deep sleep.

Starman
You. You cling onto this old *click* world you call Gensokyo.
But *whirr* that will soon end.

(Yuka pushes Alice out of the way.)

Starman
Together with the god, we shall create *bzzt* a new Gensokyo!

(Marisa runs up to the Starman.)

<< Starman EX >>
Marisa's going nuts!
Marisa put all her PP into her attack power!
Marisa's offense increased by 400!

Marisa's not listening!

Starman EX used PK Beam Beta!

Starman EX attacked with stars!
<< Starman EX was defeated! >>

Marisa
...I'm sorry... Alice...

Yuka
Hm? She can't hear you, you know.

Marisa
Shut it! How can you be such a moron at a time like this?! You think you can revive dead humans?!

Yuka
...Human?
Marisa, you ought to stop assuming all youkai are stupid, because you're being pretty yourself.
In my experience, even though this might look bad, she's still alive.
If she's treated quickly, she can still be saved.

Marisa
...That the truth?!

Yuka
Well, I'm no rabbit.

Marisa
Wait, do you mean you're not a liar, or...?
Either way, Eirin's! Off to Eirin's!!

(Marisa runs off with Alice really fast.)

Yuka
But, um, you usually shouldn't drag wounded people.



[[ Starman Hideout - Area D ]]
(There's a gap and a sign.)

Since you're in a hurry.
Remember that the gap youkai's on your side, too.



[[ Eientei - Reisen's Room ]]
Marisa
Reisen! Get me Eirin!

(Reimu !'s at the Starman Reisen's talking to.)

Starman
...

(The Starman teleports away.)

Udon
...So you saw it.

Marisa
...Reisen. What exactly was that about...?

Udongein
That would be on account of the jobless princess.
The princess has become good friends with that alien.
With nowhere to go home to, she can't help but feel some sympathy, you know?

Marisa
...

(Marisa, um, produces Alice.)

Udon
...Alice?! What is THIS?!

Marisa
...One of those guys wounded her. But if Eirin's with them...!

Udon
...I'll do what I can!

Marisa
You?! CAN you?!

Udon
I'm an apprentice of Eirin! So I'll do what I can!

Marisa
...I'm begging you.

Yuka
So you aren't with them, then.

Udongein
I think Gensokyo has been just fine the way it's always been.
I don't have a lick of interest in this new Gensokyo they want to create.
...It pains me that they'd go so far as to create their own life by mutilating creatures...

(Fade out, and Reisen is facing Alice.)

Udon
A Suppository of Life should do the trick.

(A, uh, sound.)

Udon
...It'll take some time before it reaches the affected area so, aah, you know.

Marisa
...Um, thanks...
Everybody, I'm off to go beat the crap outta Eirin and Kaguya.
...If I fall, come pick up my bones.

Yuka
What're you on about? We'll all go.
We're already here, and we'll need everybody if we want to beat Kaguya.

Marisa
...I guess. Alright, fine!

Udon
Good luck, all. Finally, someone who'll stand up to my freak master!
I'll make sure to do all I can to make Alice well!

(Cutscene ends.)

Udongein
There's some SAKE left. You want it?
< I need it! / I don't need it >

[ I need it! ]
It was delicious.

Udongein
Please do your best.



[[ Eientei - Outside Eirin's Room ]]
Reimu opened the present.
A hot spring was inside.
Relaxing in the hot spring, Reimu's party felt revived.

Yuka
How exactly did we get IN there?

Suwako
*hop*
I'm a frog('s hat). Do you want me to record everything that's happened so far?
Note that, while he won't appear directly, the creator is worried and says to be careful.
< Okay! Save! / The creator can go die >



[[ Eientei - Eirin's Room ]]
Kaguya
...Ah, yes. So you've finally come marching in.

Marisa
What the HELL are you guys doing? Do you even realize you're just ASKING for beatings?

Eirin
Well, having lived your age upped by a couple powers of ten, I must admit I've a bit of an ego.

Yuka
Hmph. So, you gonna explain anything?

Eirin
Oh, no, I don't feel any explanation is necessary.
It's really all the whismy of Kaguya here.

Kaguya
Yep. Whimsical as hell.

Yuka
Sooo... you guys are joining up with those other guys to go and screw up the world? Is that it?

Eirin
Would you mind if I quoted Gensokyo's new ruler?
"I will take all of Gensokyo for myself."
If only this were a world ruled by the Starmen... would it not be grand?

Marisa
...

Yuka
Okay, murder it is. Couldn't be clearer. No more chatter necessary.
These guys talk big about changing Gensokyo, but they should really know it's in vain.

Kaguya
Waaah, Yuka's getting angry! Do something, Eirin!

Eirin
Not to worry. The creation of our new peace was bound to require such a time as this!
Behold! A cooperative effort with the Starmen...! The Worldwide Voyager Galaxinaba Project of 1969!

Kaguya
Ah, the memories. You haven't come up with one of your trademark horrible names in so long, Eirin.

Eirin
Pfft, YOU come up with something better.

Kaguya
You can just cut it down to V-1969. Why would you think of such a long name right off the bat?

Eirin
Fine, we'll go with that. ANYWAY.

<< V-1969 >>
V-1969 fired lasers from its eyes!

Suddenly, Porky appeared and tackled the V-1969!
<< V-1969 was defeated! >>

Yuka
Porky?!

Marisa
Hey, Porky! Nice work!

Porky
...Lady Reimu. Lady Marisa. ...No, just Reimu, just Marisa.

Marisa
...Yeah?

Porky
I think it's about time I stopped playing friend.

(The music fades.)

Marisa
...Er... wha?

Porky
My name is Porky. Porky Minch.
The cleverest, the coolest, the most handsome in the whole world, Porky Minch.
...And... I came to your little Gensokyo with one purpose in mind.

(Pigmask theme plays.)

Porky
I came with the Starmen... To RULE Gensokyo!

Marisa
...Say... what?

Porky
I'd been searching all along... Searching for a world where I could become a hero.

Yuka
...Hmph, figured. There was something fishy about this from the very beginning.

Porky
And if I am to do that, Reimu, Marisa... YOU will not be necessary!
So long as you're here, this world cannot become what I wish it to be... what I'll WILL it to be!

Marisa
Eirin! You SERIOUSLY gonna listen to this guy?!

Kaguya
Why, yes. And this is no longer amusing!
However the world may change, I only wish to see it happen!

Marisa
Man, these guys are HOPELESS! Reimu, DO IT!

(Reimu doesn't seem to understand.)

Marisa
Oh, FINE! Geez, forget you guys!

Porky
Now, activate it!

Eirin
Yes, sir.

(Weird black waves start coming out.)

Eirin
Neo Phase Distorter Version XXAY!

Porky
Activate the dimension slip systems! Where they'll end up... nobody knows!

Marisa
...PORKYYY!!



And one month passed...



[[ Moriya Shrine - Mission Briefing ]]
Suwako
Sanae, we can spare no time. I'll get straight to the point.
It seems Porky has regained his memories.
And he is no friend. He's interfering with the rightful way of Gensokyo.
...From what I've seen, he's aiming to bring Gensokyo closer to the outside world.
Yet, as her faith levels are as high as ever, Kanako does not seek to take any action.
Sanae Kotian. I assign you this mission.
..."No weird names," you say? ...Awww.
It has been one month since Porky regained his memories and started acting in secret.
Whatever the reason, Reimu's crew and the Yakumo family have not taken any action.
As such, I want you to go out and gather data on this new Gensokyo Porky is creating.
The tengu have their rumors, but we can't very well trust those.
But wait, Sanae. As you are now, you may not even be able to successfully descend the mountain.
For now, >you no longer receive Kanako's support.<
Therefore, >you are incapable of performing any miracles.<
>And lending you my own power would just be a pain, to be honest.<
If you were so unfortunate as to take on Porky right now, >you would certainly lose the fight.<
Heck, as you are now, you should be wary of >even Mr. Ghosties.<
So, to relieve you and allow you to do ANYTHING useful, I'll lend you some equipment.
I can't exactly show you, but the first Data Room's security lock has been released. Go there.
Once there, download >Missile Data.<
Is that understood?

Sanae
< YES / NO >

[ NO ]
Suwako
When did you get this stupid?
Now, get moving at once.
Oh, yes, Sanae. Wear my hat. It'll keep us in consistent communication.

(Fade in to Sanae in Suwako's hat with the Metroid fanfare. Fade again, and the hat's gone.)

It didn't suit you, so you took it off.

Suwako
Well screw you too.



[[ Moriya Shrine - Data Room ]]
Missile data downloaded. Used with the Bomb command. Offense: 100.
Reserve Tank downloaded.
Used with the Item command. Fully restores HP. Use up to four, and Lady Suwako will refill them.



[[ Moriya Shrine - Below the Ropes ]]
(Following saves in the Sanae segment...)

Suwako
Reserve Tanks refilled. Same for missiles and energy.

(Encountering her on a rope, Cirno !'s.)

Cirno
Waaahhh!
N-NO, I'm NOT turning back, what're you talking about?!
Ummm... wait, who're you?
Oh, whatevs.
Anybody coming before the strongest in Gensokyo - that's me - is bound for destructalization!
...Least, that's what Porky said the first step to being the strongest is! So, uh, rawwwr!

<< Cirno >>
Cirno brandished her watermelon blades!
<< Cirno was defeated! >>

(Cirno falls off the rope.)

Cirno
Owww, I got beat up agaaain...
I try my best to keep at this, but truth is, it's really rough for me.
I mean, fairies shouldn't lose to ordinary humans! They just SHOULDN'T! So it's EMBARRASSING!
Maybe THEY'RE the strongest? NOT just idiots? No, they've gotta be the dumb ones...
...What-EVER. I'm tellin' Mama on you!

Suwako
Is she... okay?

(Sanae climbs down the rope, it snaps, and she falls.)



[[ Youkai Mountain ]]
(Sanae sees a Pigmask enter the glitchy building, but we've got other buildings to look at first. Like the "Pizza" one.)

...Nope. Got no money.

(UNIQLO.)

There aren't any of the graceful kind of clothes Kanako likes.

(Tora no Ana.)

Metroid Dread is nearing completion. Really.

(Bourbon.)

Sanae, no drinking!

("melon.")

You can hear one of IOSYS's headache-inducing songs.

(Hotel for Two.)

Looks like a hotel. If you're sleepy, won't you rest?

Suwako
Sanae, your naïvety is admirable.



[[ Mysterious Mansion ]]
Got a Missile Tank. Maximum missiles increased by 10!

(Sign behind it.)

It's fine. This is still Touhou Mother, trust me.

Got an Energy Tank. HP increased by 100!

(A sign following a row of doors that all lead to the same place...)

It was, in fact, a pointless juncture. I know, you're disappointed.

(Suwako interrupts Sanae before a random door.)

Suwako
Sanae. Give me a first report.
What? You're inside that strange mansion, investigating a pervert who went inside?
Sanae. Hurry toward the Data Room in that building.
I actually heard from the lazy shinigami that a tower-like structure's appeared across the river.
Hurry. If you're to investigate it, you'll need some equipment to help you cross the river.
I've sent it to the Data Room. Hurry.

Pigmask
Yes, I've found the Data Room. I'll destroy it immediately.

(The Pigmask turns around and !'s.)

Pigmask
Oh, pork! How'd you sneak up on me?!

(Pigmask battle.)

Speed Booster downloaded.

Suwako
It would appear you got the Speed Booster, Sanae.
That ability is very powerful, but it's too dangerous for ordinary humans.
Without my aid, I doubt you'd be able to use it.
Now, hurry and chase those pigs to their source.

(Sanae leaves the building and speed boosts into the tower. Um, speed boosts through the tower.)



[[ Thunder Tower ]]
Storehouse.

You can't go opening other people's gifts. That's just rude.

When you read this graffiti and turned around, you -

(Sanae turns around, then back to the sign.)

...Felt hungry for some reason.
Sanae hadn't been this hungry for noodles in a long time.

A METAL gate! It WILL NOT OPEN!

The door is locked! ...it says.

(Sanae comes across two Pigmasks.)

Pigmask 1
Man, everybody smells...

Pigmask 2
Stop complaining and do your job!

(They notice Sanae.)

Pigmask 1
Shrine maiden! Blue one!

Pigmask 2
What a rarity!

Pigmask 1
What a beauty!

Pigmask 2
What a pretty!

Pigmask 1
And even moreso than all those, sexy!

Pigmask 2
Sexy like a character from some doujin!

Pigmask 1
Capture her!

Pigmask 2
Oh, we'll capture her, all right! And we'll make her our mascot!

Pigmask 1
Intruder sighted in Area 16! Seize her immediately!

(Getting attacked by random Pigmasks time.)

Pigmask
Hellooooo!

(Trying to go into a door after a Pigmask pops out of it...)

Forget it! Something's probably gonna come out again!

(Sign next to a door.)

It's this one.

(Continuing onward instead...)

Pigmask
It WAS that one. Teehee.

Pigmask
I'm going to stop being a Pigmask and find employment at the Moriya Shrine.

Pigmask
Wanna do it?

Pigmask
Ah, welcome to Bourbon House.

Pigmask
Oh, little Sanae, I'm already saturated. In sweat.

Pigmask
Yes, there IS a Pigmask here!
I'm so happy a shrine maiden opened the door for me before I died of carbon monoxide poisoning.

Pigmask
How do you DOOO?!

Pigmask
Hoooh... cutie... I'll take ya home with me...
Sorry, I actually don't know anything about Higurashi.

Pigmask
Aren't you getting tired? Be a good girl and get comfortable with me.

Pigmask
You'll die of despair before anyone hears you scream.



[[ Thunder Tower - Meeting Room ]]
Porky
Alright, next up's the television! I want 'em out there ASAP!
Hmm... they could use a more appealing name... Got it! Just call 'em Happy Boxes!

(Sanae walks up.)

Porky
Oh! Miss Sanae! I'm so glad you came.
You might just be popular someday!
What am I doing, you ask?
Just thinking of creating a television channel.
I thought I'd take ol' stuck-in-time Gensokyo and finally turn it into someplace civilized.
Anyhow, Sanae, what did you come 'round for?
...Observation, huh?
...Looked a tad too violent to just be that.
But, eh, sure. If that's all you want. You must have your reasons.
And I know those guys could certainly have been rude to you.
Well, take an easy look. There's really not much to see.

Pigmask
Hamburgers are so TASTY!

A broadcasting room. No entry. At all.

Someone left a door lying here.

Pigmask
Y'know, humans from the outside world don't really think like us.

Pigmask
What's this box? There's... no one inside it, is there?

Porky
Leaving already? Everyone, let's say goodbye as Miss Sanae goes back to the mountain!



[[ Youkai Mountain ]]
Suwako
...Making a television channel, huh? Gensokyo's disappearing more and more...
...What? "Who was the one who always spent all day watching TV?"
...Well, yes, it was me. That's beside the point, Sanae.
Sanae. Don't you think it's strange?
Reimu's bunch has done nothing, even still.
If our world and the outside world become more and more similar...
Perhaps >the Hakurei Border will disappear.<
>And as a result, the youkai may once again be lost to the wayside.<
...Sanae. It may be that something has happened to Reimu.
Head for the Hakurei Shrine immediately.
Could this be the true reason we came to Gensokyo...?
What do Hakurei's companions think of us? I don't even know.
Granny though she is, Kanako has never made an oversight in such a situation.
Perhaps, if we did well to fit in, we could earn a great deal of faith.
Having our own company would do nicely. Perhaps we have yet no reason to oppose Porky after all.
But I'm rambling. Sanae. Head toward the Hakurei Shrine.
Is that understood?

Sanae
< YES / NO >

[ NO ]
Suwako
I don't even REMEMBER everything I said!
Hurry. Perhaps something truly has happened to the Hakurei Shrine.
If I remember correctly, the "di" building should be a path to the Forest of Magic.



[[ Underground Passage ]]
Got the Spazer.

Sign
Huh? What game is this, again?

(Sanae takes a Warp Star, running Aya through on the trip.)



[[ Crossroads ]]
(Sanae won't enter the nearby gap.)

No way, too scary!

For some unknown reason, an octopus-shaped statue is blocking your path.



[[ Hakurei Shrine ]]
What?! The Hakurei Shrine has gone missing!

Suwako
...There's... no Hakurei Shrine?
Sanae. Tell me this is merely all some lame joke.
Oh, it's all my fault. Me damn me.
Yet, Sanae. Are you SURE it exists no longer? Perhaps you're just... overlooking it?

(Sanae steps aside. She's taken back that Suwako thinks she's that dumb, I guess?)

Suwako
Unbelievably, it seems this is a joke I must take seriously.
Sanae. As such, go to the Starlet Level Manson... er, Scarlet Devil Mansion.
Reimu's girlfriend may know something. ...Um, okay, I admit that's a bit extreme.
Is that understood?

Sanae
< YES / NO >

[ NO ]
Suwako
And you wouldn't understand if I told you a hundred times!
Hurry. Go there, gather intelligence about the Hakurei Shrine, and report back at once.
Kanako will get to work on doing something following her afternoon nap.
Be careful, now. Or you won't get any snacks.



[[ Empire Porky Building ]]
(This was built over the Garden of the Sun. Uh oh.)

Pigmask
Huge buildings are SWEET! Who even WANTED that sunny garden place here?!



[[ Meteor Crossing ]]
These octopus statii are arranged in the Imperial Cross formation.



[[ Scarlet Devil Mansion - Entrance ]]
Remilia
Oh, Sakuyaaa! There's some, uh, weird person in the hooouse!

Sakuya
I'm quite busy making pepper steak for dinner!
What's the matter, Mistress?!

Remilia
Somebody's in our house!

Sakuya
Oh, yes, m'lady, that sounds very dangerous. Please move over to the library!

Remilia
Okaaay.

(Sakuya teleports in.)

Sakuya
What are you here for? Oh, just the wind priestess? Okay, whatever.
"Do you know if anything happened at the Hakurei Shrine," you ask?

Remilia
Oh yeah, it got destroyed in a freak refrigerator accident.

Sakuya
...Uh?

Remilia
I said it got destroyed because I said there was a freak refrigerator accident, vaa.

Maid
...Yes. Right.

(Sakuya teleports away. Sanae leaves and a monologue comes up.)

Porky. A man of most violent tendencies.
And such an attempt at forcibly changing the world for oneself gives me a feeling of deja vu.

Yes. He is just as we were.
We threatened the Hakurei Shrine, and planned to surmount all of Gensokyo.

But the dreaded Hakurei maiden made that effort utterly futile.
We were no match, and were swiftly defeated.

Porky is very much like us in that way.
Gensokyo is, much moreso than the outside world, obsessed with power.

If he hadn't realized that, he may very well have taken the same beating from the Hakurei maiden we had.
It would make him little more than an ordinary human.

If, perhaps, temporarily, the Hakurei maiden did return, I could do something.
This is something I must consider.

Porky seems to be watching me.
And I love this world more than anything.
This world has taught me, mere human that I am, so much...
And it scarcely needs such an unruly man.



[[ Path to Scarlet Devil Mansion ]]
Miss Iku
...What to be done? The Hakurei Shrine, gone.
I believed that so long as the shrine remained, we could at least have Lady Yukari's power, yet...
This is Porky's devastating mission...
I have already been fired as messenger of the Dragon Palace.
Though, to be honest, my final job seemed a rather easy one...
The Pigmasks... er...

(Iku !'s and turns around.)

Miss Iku
Ahhh?
You're... er...
The wind phoenix! ...No, wrong... Ah! The window washer!
...No, no... Wind... Wind priestess?
If I remember correctly, you were one of the ones left out of Scarlet Weather Rhapsody!
But, Reimu and her companions! Porky has disposed of them, one way or another!
Where they could be, I have not the faintest idea...
That dog of the devil! He treats Gensokyo like his own little garden!
As I feared, nearly everywhere excepting the netherworld has been claimed by Porky.
So, maiden of the winter! Won't you lend us your strength, in any way possible?!

Sanae
< YES / NO >

[ YES ]
Miss Iku
Is it true?!
Then let us hurry! Whilst there is yet time!
Do you know Porky's whereabouts?!
Towards the mountain, is he...? Then we shall make speed there!

Miss Iku cast Zoom!

(Outside view of the Thunder Tower.)

Miss Iku
Uh, Lady Sanae. If memory serves, you were Porky's friend, were you not?
Is this truly okay?
...Understood. Then let us go!

Miss Iku joined the party!



[[ Thunder Tower - Lobby ]]
Suwako
Good... Sanae? What're you here for?

Miss Iku
Let's see... You were the god of Lady Sanae, yes?
...Is it so? Even to you, Porky has...?

Suwako
What? A Kessinger of the wagon Alice... er, messenger of the Dragon Palace?
What's wrong? Has some natural disaster occured?

Miss Iku
...Yes, I would agree that something very much like that is occuring.

Suwako
I'd say so, too. But at this point, it's just not worth it.
Now, Sanae. Your mission ends here. We'll leave the rest to Kanako, and you'll withdraw.

Sanae
Are you joking?! Doesn't Lady Yasaka know how dangerous Porky is?
Don't tell me Lady Yasaka...

Suwako
But I must. I warned her again and again not to, but in the end, she joined forces with Porky.
Whether she aspires to be a star or just wants the publicity, I don't know.
And all the hag'll say on the matter is that "it is not necessary that you understand us."
Now, hurry and conclude this mission.
Though, there isn't much left for you but to wait with me until everything's over, now is there?
Oh, to only return to the outside world... Isn't it nice to think about?

Sanae
...You must speak with Lady Yasaka.

Suwako
Kanako just started talking with Porky.
They're writing some kinda autobiography called "Revolution of the Gods."

Sanae
...Fools...

(Sanae has another monologue over a bunch of buildings.)

If Porky and Kanako are working together, they'll be able to earn the faith of Gensokyo's entire population.

And Gensokyo will become modernized, mechanized.
The simple beauty of the rivers of Moriya will be replaced with filth and pollution, and a world of desire will remain.

And after that, even more frightful than modernization...
The humans, strengthened, will exterminate the youkai.

...Though I can't really speak for it myself, it will likely be as it was at Gensokyo's very creation.
The youkai will vanish once more.

Without anyone noticing, it will become the outside world, and the Hakurei Border, too, will be destroyed.
And as consequence... it will be Gensokyo no more.

This world did not need Porky to come.
His mere existence here cannot be permitted.
Were this tower destroyed, Porky's ambitions would be greatly hindered.

If I destroy the generator in the deepest part of the tower, I'll send the tower and his hopes to oblivion.
...And myself, if I have to.

I, personally, have learned far too much from Gensokyo.
So I can't forgive anyone who would behave like this.

(Back to Sanae and Suwako.)

Sanae
Please let me pass.

Suwako
Kanako's orders were to restrain you to keep you from doing anything rash and screwing up.

Sanae
...

Suwako
No comeback?

(Sanae turns to Iku.)

Suwako
...You LEAVIN'?!
You SUCK! What the hell do you hope to do with THAT?! Friggin' human!
Sanae! Do you REALLY think that'll do any good, girl?!

Sanae
...I understand. Let me say something. Lady Suwako... was never like that.

Suwako
What's that supposed to mean?
Well, then, what WOULD this "me" you knew do now?

Sanae
She wouldn't care. She'd help me obliterate Porky, no matter the cost.

Suwako
No way! ME?! HIM?! That dude's SCARY!
The worst I could do to Porky is throw frogs at him or something.

Sanae
...Then why won't you just help me like that?

Suwako
...Same to you. Why do you NEED me to help you like that?

Sanae
...Because I don't want to just give away Gensokyo.
...That's all.

Suwako
... ...Heheh.

(Sanae glows.)

Super Missile data downloaded.
Varia Suit data downloaded.

Sanae
...!

Suwako
You make me want to say "well said," so I will. I don't wanna give away Gensokyo, either.
Sanae, there's only one thing left that we can do, stuck here as we are.
This is your last mission. Go and destroy the generator in the tower's basement.
And do it promptly. Any objections, lady?

Sanae
< YES / NO >

[ YES ]
Suwako
...Hold on a sec.

(The wall explodes.)

Suwako
Hurry. There's no time. Just leave me behind.
And one more thing. ...Don't die.



[[ Thunder Tower ]]
(Pigmasks!)

Pigmask
Don't try to hide it. You were hoping I was here, weren't you?

Pigmask
You're here. I'm guessing to interfere. ...Too bad. I'll stop you now.

(Sanae finds a Megaman X Dr. Light capsule with a Marisa hologram.)

Marisa?
Sanae...
I... am Megamarisa Kirisame. An inhabitant of another world.

Megamarisa
From what I... have heard, my "original" has done some dreadful things.
But that does not mean I... have done any such things.
Step inside the capsule, Sanae.
I... will give you something I...'ve been keeping for you.

(Sanae steps in.)

Live-A-Live downloaded. You feel like kicking the CRAP outta evil!

(The capsule explodes and Sanae ...'s. A sign appears on the wall afterward.)

S
There was a "Megamarisa" here who kept saying "I...", seemingly thinking highly of herself?
Oh, well, never mind her. Perhaps it's just that everyone in her world goes "I..."
But, this IS Mother. So there's actually a really good explanation.
See, "I" is the eighth letter in "Megamarisa" and the ninth letter of the alphabet.
You subtract those numbers, which means you take the first vowel, "e."
"E" stands for "earth," which... is a big rock covered with dirt, ultimately.
But forget the dirt part! Much like Marisa's ego, it's MEGA-HUGE! Thus, Megamarisa!
So "Megamarisa" saying "I..." makes perfect sense!
W-What?!?!

(The sign explodes. Touhou Mother, everybody. Later, on a ladder...)

There are ants here. Wait, what? WHY? Go back to the forest. Good boy.

(Sign near a doorway.)

No entry for the poor.

(When Sanae tries to enter anyway, the sign jumps in front of her.)

Sign
Nice try! But I won't even let rich dudes past!

<< Dirty Sign >>
Dirty Sign attacked with a No Entry Laser!

Dirty Sign used Hyper Bomb!
<< Dirty Sign was defeated! >>



[[ Generator Room ]]
Tenko
It's meee!

Tenshi
You know how much a miracle it is you're even here?

Hinanai
Be honest, you thought Kanako was gonna be Ridley, didn't ya?

Tenshi
As for you being the one who'd come? Figured it would be, yeah.
...Teehee.
Wonder if I should give you a little behind-the-scenes.
Y'know, things shouldn't have gotten as big as they have in just one month, really.
But, yep. 'Cause I was here giving Porky advice, I made it happen.
And if that wasn't enough, he's been giving this and that power up the wazoo to me.
And why AM I here?
Not sure yet. Bored, sure. Life in the heavens's pretty damn wretched.
But point is, I'm the number two of Gensokyo.
And don't you think I could stand up to those morons in the heavens now?
At last, I'll be queen of that miserable place.
But first, I've gotta take a big, important step, and I can't screw it up. Sooo...
I'm here to make sure this drummy-lookin' generator won't get destroyed.
I dunno WHO thought that was an appropriate design, but that's pretty beside the point.
Did you think it'd be such a pop-shoot-bang job? I don't need you joking with me.
Not only was somebody here - I mean, duh, we're not STUPID - but it had to be me. Shame, for you!
Well, after that whole other ordeal, daddy took away my Hisou no Tsurugi, so...

(Tenshi takes out a rainbow sword.)

Tenshi
This time, I've got a repli... I mean, original Rainbow Sword, on loan from Mr. Kirby himself.
Now, then, it's time you paid a visit to Eiki... My friends.

<< Tenshi >>
Tenshi attacked with a multi-directional laser!

Tenshi: I will become the Messiah! Haahaahaa!
Tenshi used Sun Render with the Rainbow Sword!

Tenshi: Aether! HYAAAH!
Tenshi swung the Rainbow Sword around!

Tenshi suddenly jumped up diagonally!

Tenshi picked up a rock and threw it! Man, what a rebel!

<< Tenshi was defeated! ...Oh, wait. She revives with the Super Metroid Mother Brain music, and... >>
Tenshi tried Scarlet Weather Rhapsody of All Humankind!
Suddenly, Miss Iku jumped out in front of Sanae!
Miss Iku took mortal damage! Miss Iku couldn't stand up.
Furthermore, it was a piercing attack!

(Sanae takes mortal damage. As it rolls down...)

Tenshi smiled an ominous smile.
<< The battle was lost. >>

Tenshi
Only got like 50 experience...
Meh, guess it's less of a hassle than having to actually search for you rats.
Even so... Is this gadget really gonna let us spread across Gensokyo?

(Kanako teleports in.)

Kanako
Sorry about that, honey.
Seems I'll soon have to dismiss Sanae and make you my shrine maiden.

Tenshi
Ugh, loada crap that'd be. I'm just fine bein' everybody's little miss Hinanai, teehee.

Kanako
How humble of you.

Tenshi
So, what to do with 'em? Fishfood?

Kanako
They'll stay in my custody for now.

Tenshi
Oh yeah, Kanakky. You done capturing that other hag?

Kanako
Yes, it was surprisingly easy. It's basically just us, now.
Things have gone so well thus far that I can't help but feel a little... worried.



Marisa
Rei... mu...!
REIMU! Get UP! This is NO TIME to be takin' it easy!



[[ Former Hakurei Shrine ]]
Marisa
Good mooorning, princess!
That friggin' Porky, man! The HELL did he send us now?
Probably just someplace random, the jerk...
Reimu? Hey, you're way more shrine maideny than usual. Back to your roots, know what I mean?
...Buh? Me too?

(Marisa looks around.)

Marisa
...Whaaat's thiiis?
...And, say, where's Yuka at?
Crap, I HATE not knowin' crap, ze.

Sign
The Hakurei Shrine has disappeared.
Despite the place being somewhat cursed, we offer our utmost thanks to everyone for their service.

Marisa
...Hey, don't lookit me.

Turtle
Ohhh, Master.

Turtleee!
Would you like this old turtle to record everything that's happened so far?
< Yes / No >

Turtle
Should you meet them, send my regards to my relatives of the turtle family.




[[ Crossroads ]]
Sign
<Left> Orchid <Up> Mugenkan <Down> Makai <Right> Site of Hakurei Shrine



[[ Outside Mugenkan ]]
???
...The master of this mansion has been missing for a decade now.
Though all of its inhabitants have left, I remain to continue guarding the gate.
Don't you think even the faithful Hachiko would've given up and run away at this point?!
Hah! I friggin' ROCK!
...I know I'm just fooling myself, but I'll keep waiting for my master even if she never returns.
And if I achieve my goal, well, that's nice too.
Oooops! Didn't even notice our first trespasser in nearly ten years!
Hoohaahaahaahaahaa!! Cough, cough!

(Elly steps out of the doorway.)

Elly
Didn't you hear that DIABOLICAL laugh?! GED DOUT!!
...Pardon me, I have a bit of a cold.

Marisa
...Who're you...? ...Know we've met SOMEwhere...

Elly
...Wait... Y-You! You're the ones who beat up my YOOKY, aren't you?!
PERFECT! I'd wait 500 YEARS for this! I'm gonna XXX you in your XXXs for Yooky!

Marisa
What?! Just tell me who the heck you ARE!

<< Elly >>
Watch out! It's time to Face the Muse-ic!

Elly threw a scythe!

Elly: BEHOLD my POWER!
Elly threw a floor tile!

Elly: I couldn't help it! I couldn't help it!
<< Elly was defeated! >>

Elly
You really shouldn't bully weak gatekeepers. It's not very nice.
Anyway! Not until my master returns...! None shall pass!
Not even if you brought me a god!

(Yuka appears, now with her PC-98 hat.)

Yuka
...

Elly
Yoo...! MY YOO-YOO-YOO-YOO-YOOOOOKYYYYY!! No, that's not right at all! Lady Yuka!

Yuka
...That's me.

Elly
Pant, pant, pant... GYAAAAAHHHHH!!

Yuka
...I'm back, Elly.

Elly
Yuka! Oh, Yuka! My Yuka's FINALLY come home! YAHOOOOO!
Oh, I've got to prepare some tea! All the maids have been gone since who KNOWS wheeen!
Come in, come in, come in! Although I haven't done any cleaning in ten years...

Marisa
Ick.



[[ Mugenkan - Table ]]
Yuka
What, no tea after all?

Elly
Sorryyy... we ran out about three years ago.

Yuka
...Don't we have those stupid maids?

Elly
Yeah, they left about five years ago.

Yuka
...The weaklings, like Kurumi?

Elly
Think she got melted in sunlight four years ago, dunno anything else.

Yuka
And "Ahaha, just because I'm the first stage boss, you shouldn't underestimate me!"...?

Elly
Haven't seen her for a couple years. Poor her.

Yuka
So, um, Elly... Don't tell me you've been, uh, guarding the gate for ALL these ten years?!

Elly
Yeppers.

Yuka
.....Well, then you're a good gatekeeper and I'm very impressed.

Marisa
So, Elly, was it? This place IS Gensokyo, right?

Yuka
...Yeah, Elly. Why's it like this? Where's everybody gone?

Elly
...I don't understand, but, uh...
...Since the day you left, Lady Yuka, the youkai seem to have been diminishing.
...Is that a good thing? Not that they have much reason to exterminate humans.
It seems as if they all went away while I wasn't looking or something...
Well, they're vanishing, anyhow about it.

Yuka
...Reimu, Marisa, would you happen to know how I ended up in the Garden of the Sun?

Marisa
Don't ask me!

Yuka
...For whatever reason, my memories of the event are vague...

Elly
Oh, and something else that I guess happened without me noticing...
The sun seems to have up and disappeared, so that's why it's all gloomy out.

Yuka
...Reimu, Marisa. Truly, this is no time to take it easy.
...I'm not sure exactly how to put it, but there's something very off-putting here.

Marisa
...Yeah, somethin' like that.

Yuka
Elly, keep up the good gatekeeping, if you would. ...This time, I'm probably coming back sooner.

Elly
Nonononono! Don't disappear on me again, Yooky!

Yuka
...
Reimu, Marisa... Wait a day.
I need to give this girl some... training in the meantime.

Elly
Training?! Ooooh, I wonder what that means...

Yuka
Go and rest up in the room to the right. The other's too dirty to even set foot in.

(Yuka pushes Elly, as she's spinning, out the left door.)

Marisa
Y'know, I wonder...

(If you check on the door...)

You can hear the sound of dripping candlewax.



[[ Mugenkan - Bedroom ]]
Marisa
Wait, how are we both gonna use this single bed?
< Rest / Don't rest >

[ Rest ]
Marisa
Forget it, I'm tired. Catchin' some z's, ze.



That night, Marisa had a dream.

Marisa
Wha...? This a dream...?

(Marisa walks left for a while and finds a ghostly white silhouette.)

Marisa
Who's there?! ...Geez, you're bright! I can't see!

(The silhouette turns around.)

Marisa
Answer me! I know you gotta be somebody I know!

(Marisa moves forward.)

Marisa
You gonna SAY something?!

(The silhouette moves away.)

Marisa
...

(Marisa walks forward, but the silhouette walks past the edge of a cliff.)

Marisa
Hey, you... Is it really you...?
...Just tell me...!

(The silhouette disappears.)



Marisa
Oh, you got up?
Reimu, listen up, and don't you laugh.
I just had a dream. It was... way over there.
From way, way far away, someone was calling for me.
Reimu. I wanna go where that voice was, no matter what it takes.
...You okay with that?
< Yes / No >

[ Yes ]
Marisa
...Thanks, ze.

(Yuka comes in.)

Yuka
Morning. With some help, Elly's found it within her heart to gladly gatekeep on.
So we can leave anytime.

Marisa
Okay, then how 'bout now? Yuka, our destination's in Reimu's hands.



[[ Mugenkan - Entrance ]]
Elly
W-Welcome, master! (Pant, pant...)



[[ Desert Cave ]]
Sign
Desert Cave: Level 58.
Wait, Level 58?!

Marisa
Where's this? Since when was there a place like...?

Yuka
Maybe it just kinda appeared? This is Gensokyo, after all.

Explanation
Gensokyo didn't have any deserts, so I added one because I wanted to use this music.
Also, caves are great.

(An RPG Maker slime blocks the way.)

<< a >>
a: There's no one so pathetic as me...
Name: a. Offense: 10. HP: 10. PP: 10.
Defense: 10. IQ: 10. Speed: 10. Experience: 0.
Attacks: None created. Graphics: RTP.
a: So what?!
<< a was defeated! >>

There's a ton of SAKE inside the refrigerator!
< Eat / You gonna eat that?! >

[ Eat ]
It did seem a little rotten, but you'll probably be alright.



[[ Desert Cave - Severed Head ]]
Head
I am a severed head.

Marisa
Wahhhhh! Reimu! Reimu! The head! The head TALKED!

Yuka
Marisa, all heads talk! Nothing to worry about!

Marisa
But, without BODIES, ze?! Even Yuyuko's got a body, at least!

Head
I was a severed head, but it's been severed again. Therefore, I am a severed severed head.

<< Severed Head >>
Marisa winced! Her offense dropped by 80!

Severed Head fired a Guillobeam!

Severed Head berated you with dirty words!
<< Severed Head was defeated! >>

Marisa
Reimu... Reimuuu... That was scary...

Yuka
Whoa, who're you?

Marisa
I said it WAS scary, ZE.

Yuka
Whoa, who're you?



[[ Desert Cave - Exit ]]
Red Guy
My name's Page.

Red Guy
Jones.

Red Guy
Plant.

Red Girl
Kurumi.

Yuka
Hey -

Red Guy
Prepare for an all-out attack!

(The screen fades. Multiple SMAAAAAASHes, and the red guys are gone.)

Yuka
Seems like it's been eons, Nutcracky.
I haven't been able to call you my little nutcracker doll in forever.

Kurumi
I'd rather you call me the nutcracker YOUKAI, at least -

Yuka
Now, Nutcracky. I'm gonna count to three. One, two, three. Okay?
Before I get to three, I want you to list me every youkai you've seen lately.
If you get thirty, I'll forego my punishment.

Kurumi
...Eh?

Yuka
...Ooone mississippi...

Kurumi
Eeeeek! Reimu, right?! Lady Yuka, right?! Marisa, right?! No, wait!

Yuka
Twooo mississippi...

Kurumi
Uhhh, Yuki! Mai! Shinki! And, andandand... Medicine! Medicine!

Marisa
What are THEY doing here?

Yuka
THREEEEE mississippi.

Kurumi
GYAAAAAH! Ellyellyellyellyellyellyellymissellymissellymissellymissellymisselly

Yuka
YOOKY WAVE!

(The screen flashes and Kurumi flies backwards through a bunch of enemies, crashing into the wall and making a Mario 1-up sound. SHEER AWESOME)

Yuka
Okay, let's roll. Looks like there's only a little bit left.



[[ Path Out of Desert Cave ]]
Yuka
Marisa, you're absolutely sure we keep going this way?

Marisa
Oh, no doubt. Even the music's telling me so.

Mr. Saturn
No let pass behind here.



[[ Outside Castle ]]
Yuka
...Wonder what this is. Is it even from this world?

Marisa
Probably exists in another one. That's why it's so sparkly.
The color's weirding me out the most, though. It's some kinda mix of NES and SNES.
...Yep, this is the place.

Sign
Trash can.



[[ Castle ]]
Sign
A Shinto priest has written some grateful words here.
< Read / What, in Sake-ese? >

[ Read ]
Sign
It was in Sake-ese.



[[ Castle - Mima's Room ]]
Marisa
Miss... Mima...!

Yuka
...What's this sign here?

Should anyone read this... I wish that they never wake me.
I am the evil spirit, Mima. The forgotten girl.
And with the destruction of this world, I too will enter an eternal slumber.
I had a wonderful dream. That's where I used to be.
There was a peculiar maiden, a cute disciple, a youkai in pajamas, a god of Makai.
There was a human who came in from the outside world, too...
But I think she was poisoned by a strawberry or something.
It was like an endless party there, where everyone and anyone could laugh.
And I thought it might continue for indeed eternity.
But one day, suddenly... The maiden and my disciple vanished, first of all.
Next, the lone daughter of the god of Makai vanished.
After that, the pajama youkai vanished.
And though I saw her once more afterward, she seemed like an entirely different person.
That was just the beginning. Humans and youkai both vanished rapidly.
And now, this world has ended.
The time for this world is long past.
This world only declines. And it will only come to wither.
So, am I to live or not to live in this world...?
If I did not, I would be a fool. This world would go out with me.
But since nothing remains here that should, my life has no meaning.
I might as well have already been lost to oblivion.
And so I will simply vanish when the end of the world arrives.
Goodbye... to our Gensokyo.

Marisa
...What's she...?!

Yuka
...Is that it, then? There are two Gensokyos...?
The one we WERE in... That must be the one Yukari made.
But this one... The one everyone gave up on, and sleepyhead stayed to protect...
This is the old Gensokyo.

Marisa
...! Miss Mima! It's ME! MARISA! Marisa came back for you! MISS MIMA!

There was no reply.

Marisa
Miss Mima! ...Why...? Why did you DO this...?

Yuka
She never got another chance to shine... and so she slept.

Marisa
...Who the HELL do you think you are?!
This loser going to take a NAP when everything goes to crap is NOT the Miss Mima I know!
You're a goddamn PHONY! The REAL Mima'd be bad to the world's friggin' LAST!
And you call yourself my MASTER?! You're SHAMELESS! You're USELESS! You're ATROCIOUS!
You're supposed to be BETTER than me in EVERY WAY!
So WHAT do you think you're doing?!
WHO'S this idiot giving up on everything and nodding off?!
...It'd be better if you HAD just died off for good! Hmph!
Reimu, let's go.

Yuka
You good?

Marisa
I'm good. Guess that voice calling me was... just my imagination...
...Y-Yeah... just my imagination...

Reimu ate the Magic Butterfly.

Marisa
You haven't matured at all...

(After Reimu leaves, Mima wakes up.)



[[ Castle ]]
Marisa
Stop!

Yuka
What's up? Still got something to yell at her?

Marisa
No, not that, ze. Somebody's coming!
...From above! Look out!

<< Only God >>
Only God put up an Only God Shield!

Only God fired an Only God Beam!

Only God snapped with a fiery bite!

(After a bunch of miniscule damage...)

A voice came from behind.
Mima: There is much I have left to teach my disciple.
Mima: ...But thanks to her, my eyes have opened.
Mima: My adventure... is not over yet.
Mima: Even if I will not be offered a chance...
Mima: I shall NOT be left behind!
(Reincarnation starts.)
Marisa: Miss Mima?!
Mima: Sorry to worry you, Marisa.
Only God didn't pick up on the dramatic atmosphere!
Only God snapped with a fiery bite!
Mima reflected the attack!
Mima: Very well, it's time to get serious. Let's go!

(Mima's PK Starstorm destroys the shield and he goes down pretty quickly without it.)
<< Only God was defeated! >>

(Marisa goes up to Mima and hugs her.)

Mima
...I'm back, Marisa.

Marisa
Miss Miiimaaa...! Welcome... Welcome back!

Mima
No matter how much time passes, some things never change.

Marisa
Miss Mima...!
I'm...! I'm...!

(Marisa steps away.)

Marisa
...Heh, that was outta character, ze. Almost sounded like I was actually gonna cry.
But you ARE my teacher, Mima, and like, the only family I've ever had.
It sucks being orphaned like that, ze.

Mima
I never exactly sought to bring you happiness. But I'm apparently a phony, so what do I know?

Yuka
So, you okay now? Seeing as you're a spirit... couldn't you just bugger off to heaven already?

Mima
Hey, you...! Where'd THAT come from?!
Anyway, what are you all doing here? ...And where did you all GO?

Yuka
Huh? I don't get it. We were off in the Gensokyo that isn't this one.

Mima
...Ah. I figured it might be something like that.
Ugh. Eye must've looked like an idiot, sleeping away like that.

Yuka
Oh, so have you changed your mind about all that?

Mima
What do YOU think?

(Together We Ride plays. Buh?)

Mima
Reimu! That old Hakurei power's STILL around?!
You were worried, weren't you? It's written all over your face.

Yuka
...Ah, yes.
Right now, back in not-here-Gensokyo, things are getting all kinds of screwed up.

Mima
So, is my power needed?

Yuka
Hell no. Shut up and go sleepy-bye, you green Ghostie.

Mima
...I see. So no one needs me? Then I might as well die...

(Mima looks back at the door.)

Mima
...But no, of course, you seem not to understand. I follow my spirit!
And it tells me this other Gensokyo has forgotten the fear of the evil spirit Mima!
So my first priority... shall be to reteach them all!

Yuka
...Gotcha. Mima, looks like you haven't worsened one bit!

Marisa
Ooh! Talk about reassurement if Mima's coming along!

Mima
Now, Reimu, shall we go?! It's been all too long!

Mima joined the party!

Queen Mima's castle disappeared.
It was merely an illusion created by Mima.



(Outside, the castle's gone, the sun comes out, and Pollyana plays. Getting Mima is truly the happiest of events.)



[[ Path Out of Desert Cave ]]
Mr. Saturn
Say password.

Mima
Wait three minutes.

Mr. Saturn
OK pass.



[[ Saturn Valley ]]
Mr. Saturn
Welcome Saturn Valley.

Mr. Saturn
I say self is Saturn.

Mr. Saturn
You stay?

Reimu
< Stay ding! / No stay boing >

[ Stay ]
Mr. Saturn
Your feeling is much good.

Mr. Saturn
I believe the morning sun.

Mr. Saturn
Look pretty?

Mr. Saturn
Zooooom! Boing.

Mr. Saturn
All here so sudden, ding.
But not all like. Un-ding.

Mr. Saturn
Take what one likes, zoom!
Money is zero zero.

Reimu opened the present.
Got the Charm Coin.

Reimu opened the present.
Got the Boing Ribbon.

Reimu opened the present.
Got the Sword of Kings.

Mr. Saturn
I always feeling good. Good good good afternoon.

(Reimu talks to the Saturn at the north exit.)

Mr. Saturn
Hear phone. Who was phone?

(Reimu gets a right-C-button call.)

Oh, it's the professor.

Okazaki
Phew, I'm exhausted.
B-But I'm still up to it!
Yes, Gensokyo. Let us go to Gensokyo.
This feels like it was entirely the wrong place to come to.
I'm surrounded by bugs and birds and darkness, and it's getting REALLY annoying.
Say, even though he's over here at the moment, would you happen to know this Lucas kid?
...What's that? You want to go there, too?
I see. Well, you'll have to hear my story first.
< Listen / Ignore >

[ Listen ]
Okazaki
It's a very long story, but I hope you'll listen to it.
It was in the old days. One of my teachers was out doing field work as usual...
...but then, it happened. ...Suddenly... a great... ...appeared and...
Then, the faraway... the science... was.... raised me up... ...was... amazing...
...I was still so young then... I believed in........ But... our hearts were.....
.......... and.......... .....then..... ..........science.......... ..... ... ..........

Okazaki
So in summary, to get to that other world, we need a little something, it seems.
Ah, I know. I'll put it simply.
Is there any Zexonyte in that world?
Search for it however you can, then gather it up in one place.
Once you do that, we should be able to get over there.
And once we get over there, we should be able to get back. Okay, bye-bye!

Mima
I've got a great idea! Let's go to Makai!

Mr. Saturn
Sorry listen.

(Reimu tries to enter a house.)

Mr. Saturn
Oh to kay! You come in!

(They enter, then come flying out on a Saturn table coming out of a hole in the ground.)

Yuka
HAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! LEMME OFF! LEMME OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!

Mima
You heard it, everybody! You wanna tease Yooky, just get her on something way faster than she is!

Yuka
NononoNOOOOOO!!! LEMME OFF! LEMME OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!

Marisa
More! I need more SPEED!

Yuka
M... more... no more...

(The screen shakes.)

Yuka took 600 mortal damage!



[[ Makai - Part One ]]
Mima
Howdy, strangers. Welcome t' Makai. What can I do ya for?

Yuka
I don't need your remarkably non-eastern alcohol.
I mean, it'd be nice, I guess, but I just wanna know where that Zexophone stuff is.

Mima
Don't you think Lady Loli-Lord would know?

Yuka
...Would she? Is that why we came here?

Mima
Is it not inevitable that all things find their way to Makai in the end?

Yuka
That's some odd logic.

Marisa
Well, look, I'd say if both Miss Mima AND Reimu's intuitions say so, it can't be wrong.
If we don't know where it is, might as well go check, ze!

Sign
I tried something a little different to bring about a weird atmosphere.
I hope it worked.



[[ Makai - Midpoint ]]
Red Guy
My name's Eiji.

Red Guy
John.

Yuki
Mai.

Mai
Yuki.

Yuka
Wait up -

Enemy
Prepare for an all-out -

(The screen instantly goes white and the stickmen are gone.)

Yuka
Long time no see. Hm, wonder why you're doing what you're doing here?

Mai
That's a rule.

Yuki
Who're you? All of you?

Mima
I am the one, the only, the very spirit of evil, Mima. In some circles, I am known as Queen Mima.
Mention of me simply cannot omit my brilliant strategems, heralded as genius by many.
Within our troupe of veteran warriors, I function as their leader.

Marisa
I am the beauty, Marisa Kirisame. My looks trump those of any other woman, alive or dead.
Have you heard that my laser is not difficult? You heard very, VERY wrong, ze.

Yuka
I am known as Yuka. I'll run you through in my airplane!
But forgive me for my aversion to exceedingly fast transports.

The paper handed to Reimu says, "Oh, I'm an eccentric one, alright. Who KNOWS what can you expect?"

Yuki
W-What ARE you?

Mai
...

Mima
KYAAAHAHA! Now! Prepare the ICBM!

Marisa
...!

Mima
Sorry, children, but you... are in the way.

Marisa
HALT!

Yuka
Okay! Leave this one to Yuka!

Marisa
SILENCE!

Mima
Ohohohohoho.

Yuka
Oohoohoohoohoohoo... Haaah...

Marisa
You's DEAD!

Yuki
They're so... stellar...!

(Yuki teleports away.)

Yuki
Gottago!

(Mai follows.)

Mai
WAAAIT! YUKIII!

Mima
Oh, what's that? We can go through? Super.



[[ Makai - Part Two ]]
Yumeko
I have something to report, m'lady, m'lord!
The four former invaders of Makai... I've confirmed they're coming this way!

Shinki
Dude? That's rad.

Yumeko
Yuki and Mai have been dealt with with most impressive force!

Shinki
Dude? That's rad.

Yumeko
And just now, I have seen three of them for myself!
Reimu, Marisa, and Yuka! Those three appear to be returning here!

Shinki
Dude? That's rad.

Yumeko
...Lady Shinki, don't you want to... do something about this?

Shinki
Dude? That's rad.

Yumeko
E-Excuse me... I'm getting a headache, so I'll be taking a bit of a nap...

Shinki
Dude? That's rad.



[[ Makai - Stage 6 ]]
Dinky Shinki
...It's you...? It's been a while. How many years, to be exact...?

Marisa
Eight, right? Or was it nine? But forget that. Makai seems a lot smaller, I gotta say.

Shinki
Yes, on that topic, was it TRULY necessary that EACH of you lay waste to Makai, one by one?
Such destruction was never desirable, obviously...
But much less when my world was in such decline. And MUCH less TETRICE.

Mima
Whatever happens to befall you is left for you to deal with. That's a rule.

Shinki
Then I reason that to deal with it, the layers of waste shall be dealt with. That's a rule.

Marisa
Hey, guys, no need to get into a brawl over nothing. ...That's a rule?

Yuka
She's at a particularly rebellious stage in her life. That's a rule.

Marisa
Hmm. So what age would that be?

Shinki
You can't simply ask a woman her age. That's a rule.

Marisa
Not a one? You scared of something? For all you know, you're actually younger than I think.

Shinki
Maybe I just don't remember my age. That's a rule.

Marisa
Well, do you know about this Zexonyte stuff?

Shinki
Now, come on, and I'll uninstall you all! Ohohoho! (Not paying attention.)

Mima
Kyahahahahaha!

Yuka
Oohoohoohoohoohoohoo.

Marisa
Why, you... Aren't you supposed to make the music change for dramatic effect...?

(The music changes to the Sanctuary music.)

Shinki
With this Gungnir...! I shall run you through!

Marisa
That line sounds a little too familiar...

<< Lady Shinki >>
Lady Shinki: Underestimate not the power of the gods!
Marisa: I think you're holding those swords wrong, lady!
Lady Shinki put up an Only God Shield!

Lady Shinki used PK Shield Off!

Lady Shinki used Hairspray Hammer!

Lady Shinki fired an Only God Beam!

Lady Shinki used the Exploding! God! SLAAASH!

Lady Shinki tried PK Psyche-Block Alpha!

Lady Shinki: With this (miniature) Gungnir...!
Lady Shinki: I shall run you through!
Lady Shinki tossed the (miniature) Gungnir!
<< Lady Shinki was defeated! >>

A melody flowed from the broken Gungnir! Reimu remembered the melody.

Shinki
I'm so accustomed to charisma-less buffoons, I didn't even expect you four to be so much.

Mima
Well, hey, you stood up pretty well against us four, at least.

Shinki
But, regardless, let's put that all behind us. So why did you come here?

Mima
If you've got the Zexonyte, hand it right over.

Shinki
...Uh, never heard of it.

Mima
OH, WHAT THE.

Marisa
Oh no she DI'INT! ...Have any!

Mima
...Wait, wait. What IS Zexonyte, anyhow?

Marisa
...Isn't that what we were trying to discuss?
But when we finished, we just went off looking for something we knew nothing about! Foolish!

Mima
At least we were fools of a feather flocking together.

Yuka
What are you going on about now...?

Shinki
I'm not exactly following, but this sounds like it would be some interesting-looking object, yes?
"Zexonyte," you called it?

(C-button call.)

Shinki
Hello, my Yumeko? I want to know if you know anything about Zexonyte.

Yumeko
Dude? That's rad.

Shinki
...Hello, my Yumeko? I want to know if you know anything about Zexonyte.

Yumeko
Dude? That's rad.

Shinki
......Hello, my Yumeko? I want to know if you know anything about Zexonyte.

Yumeko
...Dude? That's rad.

(Shinki makes another call.)

Shinki
Heeey, Yuki 'n' Mai.
You know anything about Zexonyte?

Yuki
Oh, Lady Shinki! Zexonyte, you said? Not a clue!

Mai
...It makes up meteorites.

Yuki
And by that I mean it makes up meteorites!

Shinki
Very well, yes, meteorites, yes.
So, meteorites... Have any of those fallen anywhere?

Mima
...Not that I know of.

Yuka
Ah, but there was one that I know of. That meteorite way back there.

Marisa
Alright, my guess was spot-on, ze. Let's hurry on back to the Saturns!

Mima
You feeling okay?

Marisa
Sure I'm okay, ghosty lady. I'm sure the professor's found that meteorite by now.

Shinki
The Saturns, you say? Let me send you to them with my Mother Power.

Yuka
...Hey, that, um, doesn't move too fast, does it?

Shinki
Oh, you'll be juuust fine. Ohoho.

Mima
Kyahahahahaha!

Yuka
Oohoohoohoohoohoo.

Marisa
Oh, shut it.

Shinki
Well, do your best, now.

Shinki sent Reimu back along a trail of bread crumbs.

Marisa
Talk about low-tech.



[[ Saturn Valley ]]
Mr. Saturn
Hear phone. Who was phone?

(One last C-button call.)

Ah, the professor.

Okazaki
I've deposited 100,000 Gald into your bank account.
That should make your balance 100,000 Gald in total.
So, what else might you need?
B-But I'm still up to it!

Professor
So, um, we found the Zexonyte over here instead.
I think we'll be there soon. Drink some coffee while you wait.

(The Saturn moves aside.)

Mr. Saturn
So sorry. Understand.



[[ Saturn Valley - Landing Site ]]
Mr. Saturn
Hot spring. Take much easy. Why I say that, boing?

Mr. Saturn
Coffee drink aaaaall up.
< Accept / Decline >

[ Decline ]
Mr. Saturn
No drink? Tea tea.

[ Accept ]



You've traveled very far from home.

Reimu.
You're here now
because of that evil man...
Porky made his entrance.

Tough and violent,
like Lunatic danmaku.
From his high position,
he looks down on you.

But, you...
No matter what happens,
you press onward and keep fighting.
Never losing your courage and energy.

Thanks to your companions,
you stand here now.
And you are never alone.

Often terrifying, but sometimes childish,
Marisa is at your side.

You can never tell her motives,
but your bold friend Yuka is also there.

And, by some twist of fate,
who should appear before you
but your former rival, Mima.

Now, Reimu.
Your journey will only get tougher.
There is no doubt the road will be long and painful.

But, in the end, it will be all right.

Reimu!
Marisa!
Yuka!
Mima!
You must never abandon Gensokyo!

Some are good, and some are evil.
In battle, those who are good cannot lose.
They make others lose!

At this point, you have four of "his" melodies.
With the help of your partners,
you must once again
search for their locations.

Porky seems very powerful, but...
Reimu! He fears you!
With this advantage, you cannot give up.
Do this for the sake of your world.

May the goddess of fate smile upon you...



Mr. Saturn
Was good drinking?

Mr. Saturn
You here! Professor coming.



(A white Sky Runner appears in the middle of a square on the ground. Okazaki comes out.)

Okazaki
Gensokyooooo! I'm hooooome!

Yuka
...Is this a sitcom or something?

Marisa
Uh... Who're you...?

Mima
I think I remember her.
I know she's from the outside world, and the writer's had her spouting obscure references...
Perhaps you're Ichigo Kamen?

Marisa
...Huh? Itchy who?

Mima
...Never mind. She must be rubbing off on me.

Okazaki
Oh, forget about it! I KNOW none of you remember me, why SHOULD you!
Whatever. I know I'm only around this time for one little job.
I'm nothing more than a tutor compared to my former sheer professorialness.
Even the robot I made withered away long ago.
Anyway, come on! I know I kinda ruined your grand entrance. But still, come on!

(Lucas and Claus emerge.)

Lucas
We did it, brother! We finally found them!

Claus
Really? We really found Yooky and company?!

Yuka
Lucas and Claus! Why are YOU here?!

Lucas
The old lady Yukari still wasn't showing up.

Claus
As anybody reasonable would do, we got really worried when none of you girls came back.

Lucas
So we prayed, and when we did, this girl showed up.

Yuka
What, so is she into shotacon, too?

Marisa
Whoa, you said it yourself! I KNEW it!

Okazaki
Kids are just the cutest, aren't they?
They're always rather tough to control, though, so I had to employ some collars.

Yuka
Claus! Lucas! Why did you LISTEN to this crazy person?!

Lucas
She was wearing half-pants.

Claus
She was wearing a skirt.

Lucas
She liked me.

Claus
She pet me.

Yuka
I was sorta joking, but I think I was right about the shotacon thing.

Okazaki
I am a LADY!

Marisa
An awfully perverted one, I'd say.

Okazaki
You're one to talk, lesbian.

Marisa
I-I'm... n-not like that.

Okazaki
...Well, so you might say, but there's one person left who's been very, VERY worried about you.

Marisa
...About ME?

(Marisa walks up to the Sky Runner and pulls out Alice. Who's gone PC-98, oddly.)

Marisa
...Alice...!
...Good, you're safe. That's, uh, great. Ze.

Alice
...Marisa... I was looking everywhere for you...
Like, a lot. Close to... every waking moment, maybe.

(Pause. Everyone but Marisa, Alice, and Mima leaves. Mima stares, and Yuka has to drag her away.)

Marisa
...Yeah, uh, that sure sounds like a lotta worry. But it's all good, I'm here.

Alice
... ...Marisa.

Marisa
What, ze?

Alice
I said some horrible things. I'm sorry.

Marisa
Horrible things?

Alice
I said I loved you.
But from there, I went on to say I'd kill your Patchouli.

Marisa
Hey, who cares? That's in the past, man. If Patchouli's okay, I'm okay with it.
Besides, Patchouli doesn't BELONG to me or anything.

Alice
...Right. And so you chose Patchouli. You wouldn't choose me.
That single fact was just all too much for me to handle.
Look, I'm just saying horrible things again. I know I'm just pestering you now, Marisa.

Marisa
No way, Alice. ...Like, if anything, THAT'S probably the only thing I don't wanna hear.
Go on, keep going.

Yuka
So, is she gonna replace you?

Mima
I'm going to hit you as hard as I can.

Alice
...Marisa, despite all that, I had so much affection for you that wouldn't ever go away.
Day by day, my feelings for you grew stronger. And it's only continued since you rescued me.
..."Why? Why? Why doesn't Marisa look at me, forever?" I always thought.

Mima
Marisa. You're sexy, we get it. Now can we go before we all turn into men?

(Hitting sound.)

Yuka
Oh, shut it!

Marisa
Must've been a misunderstanding, Alice. I'm always lookin' at you.

Alice
But don't you like Patchouli?

Marisa
...No. I don't. Too. Um.
Look, I like EVERYBODY.
Reimu, and Yuka, and Miss Mima, and Nitori, and Patchouli, and you... I love 'em all, ze.

Yuka
Wahhh! I'm on her LIST!

Mima
Oh, shut it.

Marisa
If everybody's my friend, who the heck am I supposed to say I "like"?
I could never hate you, Alice. I just like everybody too much.

Alice
...Oh, Marisa, you're just too incredible for me.

Marisa
Man, Alice, you shouldn't put yourself down THAT quickly...

Alice
Well, if it's Marisa...

(Marisa turns around.)

Marisa
What're y'all all doin' over there?

(Everyone except Okazaki walks back.)

Alice
Marisa, Porky has been steadily wearing Gensokyo away.
If we don't act quickly, it'll be gone for good.
Its separation from the outside world so long ago will no doubt become meaningless.

Marisa
Got it... We gotta hurry!

Yuka
So can we ride this back?

Okazaki
Yep, I didn't screw anything up this time, so you can return.

Marisa
Yeahhhhhhhhhh! Okazaki's the beeest!

Mima
Go ahead! Make my day!

(Mima gets in.)

Yuka
Climb up! And get the last chance!

(Yuka gets in.)

Marisa
Reimu! Brats! C'mon!

Claus
We'll be staying behind.

Lucas
The Mr. Saturns should be able to send us back to our own world.

Mr. Saturn
I make duty. Ding ding, I said "make duty."

Marisa
...Alright... Good to hear!
Alice! C'mon!

Alice
...Marisa, I... don't want to see you anymore.
Whenever you're there, I... something in my chest pains me.

(Marisa and Alice get in.)

Alice
Huh?! H-Hold on! Marisa?!

Marisa
Trust me, it'll be fine!
Alice! I'm tellin' you, just keep your thoughts to two things!
You like me. Right? You like being WITH me. Right? So just keep it simple!
We're ready! Let's go!

(The Sky Runner, er, departs with the same black ring things as the Phase Distorter.)

Okazaki
Nuts! They already left!



(The Sky Runner flies through space and runs into a diamond thing.)

<< Giro-Blame >>
Sensors are detecting the presence of enemies.
Enemy: Giro-Blame. Count: 1.

In a last ditch effort, the Giro-Blame threw itself at the party.
The Sky Runner was destroyed.
<< Giro-Blame was defeated! >>

Marisa
Why do they always, ALWAYS CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH?!?



[[ Snowhou ]]
Yuka
...Man, nothing but crashes so far, huh.

Mima
Wait, don't tell me that, by "nothing but crashes so far"...
You mean you've had nothing but crashes so far?

Marisa
Nice job, ghosty lady. You said it better than anyone else possibly could, ever.

Mima
Oh, no, it wasn't that great.

Marisa
Well, we oughta move on, ze. Glad we're finally back. Our clothes, too.

Mima
...You could have worded that a bit less suggestively.

(Marisa !'s.)

Marisa
Alice?! Where's she at?!

Mima
...To think... She's gone off somewhere?

Yuka
No use thinking about it, let's get going.

Marisa
No, no, no! There HAS to be some use thinking about it!

Yuka
It'll be fine. Or there'll be youkai.

Marisa
...I guess...



[[ Snowhou - Some Cliffs ]]
Mima
What a cute little frog... FOR ME TO STOMP ON.

Suwako
I've been *hop*ing you'd come back. Ah, I hadn't hopped like that since the good old days.
I gave the turtles their chance, but now it's time for me to take the job back in full force.

(After a normal save...)

Suwako
You've been through a lot, so I healed you up, too.



[[ Snowhou - Fairy-a ]]
Cirno
Ahh... sob... sniff... No one ever wants me for anything...
I'm too weak to be of use to anybody... Whaddo I... whaddo I dooo, Lettyyy...?

Letty
Now, now, don't cry. Freeze those tears.
It's alright, Cirno. You were just a little too tired to show them your true power.
Once you're feeling better, I'm sure everyone will come rushing back.
Ah, now that I think of it, I found that thing you've been searching out for ages.

Cirno
'Kay... thanks...

Marisa
'Kay... thanks...

Yuka
Not YOU.

(Cirno turns around and !'s.)

Cirno
Oh, welcome, visitors! How d'ya like our wintery paradise?

Letty
A peaceful snow falls here all year round.
Say, you... I don't seem to recall you...

Marisa
There's a bunch of people in this world of ours with the same face, ze.

Letty
Perhaps so. But this place is rather rough on humans, is it not?
This eternal winter would surely freeze you.

Yuka
O-Oh, s-s-sh-shut it.
We n-need to get m-m-moving, so just tell us w-w-which way to the H-Hakurei Shrine.

Letty
You're shuddering. What's wrong?

Yuka
It's COLD!!

Letty
Well, the Hakurei Shrine? It's destroyed. Totally annihilated, maiden and all.
Now, the most wonderful shrine to grace this world is the Moriya Shrine.
It's a truly massive shrine under Porky and Kanako Yasaka's control.

Marisa
...Must've made some pretty major renovations, huh.

Mima
Who and who? Pokey and Kawasakinaga... Yasaka?

Marisa
Fatty and hag, ze.

Mima
...Prepare me a report on them both. At least fifty pages, single-spaced.

Marisa
Not a repooort! And hell, I couldn't even write fifty pages about ME!

Yuka
Now that's truly troubling. What COULD you write fifty pages about?

Mima
...Not me, I hope?

Yuka
...Not you, I hope.

Marisa
Well, geez, if I liked writing that much, I'd be a reporter, but the hell with that.
Anyway, can we cut the pointless conversation? I've had quite enough of these for one adventure.

Mima
"How Many is Too Many?" A report from Marisa Kirisame at eleven.

Yuka
SO, uh... Letty, was it? Think so. What's gone on while we've been gone?

Letty
Well, er, I've been here the whole time, so I can't exactly give you much detail.

Yuka
Welp, whatever.

Letty
But to the north is the former human village, now "Hinanai City."

Mima
Hinanai?

Marisa
One hell of a failure called Tenko Hinanai...
...Urgh, that gives me basically the worst feeling imaginable.

Yuka
And I can't help but feel the same way.

Marisa
Okay, snowmanlady. If that's all you can tell us, that's good enough. Thanks.

(Reimu starts walking past Cirno.)

Cirno
Wa-haaait!

Yuka
Still got something to say?

Cirno
Huh-WHAAA? "Still got something to SAY"?!
You smash the ever-loving snow out of me and I don't even get a "SORRY"?!

Yuka
Oh, Cirno, you know full well what happens EACH and EVERY time we meet.

Cirno
Yeah, well BOO ON YOU!
Letty! Where's, uh, that?

Letty
A bit beyond here.

(Cirno runs north.)

Letty
See ya. It's all up to Cirno, now.



Cirno
Don't keep me waiting! Now I'mma chop you all up into DELICIOUS LITTLE PIECES!

<< Cirno >>
Cirno attacked! (Music: Cirno's Unfounded Revenge)

Cirno fired Diffusion Missiles!

Cirno slashed her Earnest Ice Sword!
<< Cirno was defeated! >>

(After the battle, Cirno's crying in the corner.)

Cirno
Oh, just go ahead and ignore me...



[[ Snowhou - The Edge ]]
Warning
The creator of this game takes great pleasure in tormenting Yuka.

(Reimu finds four snowboards at the edge of the cliff.)

And this is how he intends to do it.

Marisa
Ooh, baby! We're SNOWBOARDIN' our way outta here!

(Yuka ...'s.)

Yuka
...Uh... excuse me...

Mima
Yahahaha! How delightful.

Yuka
Reimu, don't, uh... don't tell me you want to ride these, too...?

Reimu
< Sure do! / YAHOOOOO!! >

[ YAHOOOOO!! ]

Marisa
Thought as much! That's our Reimu!

Yuka
Yeeek! There's... there's no WAY I can...
...H-Hey, Reimu. Can I ask you to, um...
Well... I'd be glad if I could ride behind you.

Marisa
Dual-riding? That's risky, girl!

Mima
What if you fall off, ze?

Yuka
Well, there's NO way I'm going alone, seeing as I'm going to have my eyes shut the whole way...

Marisa
Well, you wanna ride behind ME?

Mima
No, me.

Reimu
< No, me! / Take her, please! >

[ Take her, please! ]
Yuka
I wasn't asking THEM!
Ugh... t-this is crazy!
I'm... I'm really begging you here, Reimu...

(Screen fades.)

Mima
ARE YOU READY?!

Marisa
Wahoo!



[[ Snowhou - Stepping Snow ]]
Yuka
Stop! Too fast! TOO FAST!
I'm falling! I think I'm gonna FAAAAALL!
HAAAAAHHHHH!! GONNA FAAAAAAAAAALL!! CAN'T FAAAAAAAAAALL!!

Mima
STOP SCREAMING.

Yuka
Shut it!
I'm DOOOOOMED! Dead! DEEEEEEEEEEAD!!

Mima
YOU'RE STILL SCREAMING.

Yuka
Shut it! Gonna KILL you I swear!
You're going too FAST! Stop the SPEEEEED!!

Mima
Oh, but don't you love the thrill?

Yuka
Oh, go DIE! I know you're dead, but GO DIE! Marisa! What's Mima weak to?!

Marisa
Nothing... except jelly donuts.

Yuka
You lie, liar!

Marisa
Reimu! If we keep at this speed, it's gonna turn night soon, ze!

Yuka
Forget it! We'll take as many days as we NEED!

Marisa
Hey, Miss Mima! Since when did you have legs?

Mima
I only don't have legs when I'm in Beast Mode.

Yuka
What are you talking about?!

Marisa
Hey, Reimu! Now I'll show you!

Yuka
No! No! You don't need to do that! Stop it!

(Marisa circles around Yuka really fast.)

Marisa
You're too SLOOOW!

Yuka
.........

Marisa
C-Can't handle the speed, huh?!

Mima
No no no...!

(Marisa slides off-screen, still spinning.)

Marisa
Yikes, I'm outta controool!

(She crashes off-screen.)

Mima
WHAT THE?! Marisa! You alright?!

(Screen fades and everyone else crashes.)



[[ Outside Kourindou ]]
Marisa
If it isn't my old nemesis... A BUILDING!

Yuka
Kourindou...? Wow, Ranta-tan's made one heck of a shop.

Mima
Ranta-tan? Who?

Marisa
That's not his name, that's... uh... actually, I have no idea.
But after you disappeared, Miss Mima, I've met all kinds of neat people.

Mima
...And how might I learn about these people?

Marisa
Well, I've heard rumor among the fairies about this "encyclopedia that anyone can edit"...
Dunno how well it can be trusted, though.

Mima
Which?

Marisa
Huh? Oh, never mind that.

Mima
...Hm.
...Well, I've certainly never seen a male youkai before. I'm sure you must practically worship him.

Marisa
Anyway, we goin' in or what, ze?

(The broken snowboards lay next to Kourindou.)

Bummer, dude.



[[ Kourindou ]]
Rinnosuke
Welcome! Oh, hi, Marisa.

Marisa
Hey, s'been a month or so.

Mima
Aha. So THIS is Marisa's husband.

Rinnosuke
...Wait, what was that?

Marisa
Wait, why would...?

Mima
Not yet? Well, I've seen it in your cards. It is fate.

Marisa
Yikes. I don't like this misty fate stuff, do you, Kourin?

Rinnosuke
Yes, quit your mystical nonsense.
On another topic, this... girl here... Um, is she short-legged or no-legged? Who IS she?

Mima
...How pleasing. I suppose I can approve of this man ravaging my favorite disciple.
I am the evil god Mima, black to the very core. Pure. Evil.

Rinnosuke
So, you're Marisa's family?

Marisa
Something like it, at least. So, why'd all this happen to Kourindou?

Rinnosuke
My old shop was struck by lightning. So I had to move and rebuild.
I had to ask Porky for a little help, and I ended up with this.

Marisa
Don't ask that guy for CRAP! He's got no plans but screwin' the brains outta Gensokyo!

Ranta-tan
Oh. Really?

Marisa
If you keep listening to what he says, I'mma hafta persuade you otherwise!

Mima
Hm. Ranta-tan, was it?

Rinnosuke
That's RINNOSUKE!

Mima
Rinny-poo, exactly what kind of world HAS this become?

Rinnosuke
Er, well, it's been modernizing lately, that's for sure.
The human village was reconstructed, but you can't say it's anything but a full-blown city now.
With its towering skyscrapers and its odd form of capitalism, it might as well be the outside world.

Marisa
...Umm... No offense, but that sounds kinda fun, ze.

Rinnosuke
Well, not for a poor man like me. They just tell me to walk on home.

Marisa
Take out a loan.

Rinnosuke
They'd tell me to walk on home, too.

Mima
When you SHOULD be walking down the aisle, am I right?

Marisa
Are you STILL thinking about that?!

Mima
Ohhh, you're into THAT. You only like the girls, don't you...?

Marisa
B-BIG misunderstanding, ze! I'm NOT...!

Rinnosuke
I'd recommend not furthering this conversation.

Mima
What's the matter, Ranta-tan? Anyway, hear me out, and make it cheap.
I want a Super NES. I hear they're all the rage.

Rinnosuke
You're certainly still living in the past.

Mima
Aw, pretty please with a strawberry on top?
The graphics are to die for, as if that expression meant anything.

Rinnosuke
Enough, enough. Go check out the human "village" already.
Here, I'll give you an allowance. And take this, too.

Marisa
Yaaay! Thanks, Uncle Kourin!

Got 100 Munny.
...Oh, you also got an ATM Card.
You can now withdraw (real) money from an ATM!
Furthermore, as this is a Touhou game, you just plain Game Over when you die.
So you don't have to worry about the anti-interest stacking up with your death count.

Yuka
...Ranta-tan, I expect you'll be getting some kind of profit out of this, won't you?

Ranta-tan
Sure will.

At present, you have a total of 29,137 yen sent by Master Rinnosuke.
< Withdraw all / Stop >

[ Withdraw all ]
Withdrew 29,137 yen!



[[ New Hinanai City ]]
Marisa
What the... heck. Is this the tengus' place?

Pigmask
Snort, snort... You smell like poverty to me.

Marisa
Shut your snout! I'll wring you by your pork!

Pigmask
Seems to me you've living in the past. This is a new era we're in, you know.
You girls some kinda cosplayers? A chindonya? Either way, get your butts outta here.

Marisa
Chindonya? What's...?

(Pause.)

Mima
Chiiin -
dooon -
YAAA-HAH!

Yuka
You just keep your mouth shut. If it's a toll you want, I've got 100 Munny here.

Pigmask
Munny...? Never even heard of it.

Yuka
...Well, nuts.

(A Pigmask comes out of a nearby building.)

Pigmask
Hey, you bozos! Didn't you read the instruction manual?!
These girls are Lady Tenko's most honorary guests!
Let them through right this minute!

Pigmask
The best freakin' chindonya I've ever seen! Go right ahead!

Marisa
Oh, shut it.

(Reimu enters the bourbon place.)

You drank it down in broad daylight and felt great. Rinnosuke can pay later.

The city that's hip and trendy among all the kidz-with-a-z! Welcome to NEW HINANAI CITY!

(The melon shop, is, uh...)

S
It doesn't matter much, but I've been playing Scarlet Weather Rhapsody netplay.
If you see a guy named "E-HERO S-CHAN," it's sure to be me.
And if he uses Tenko, prepare yourself for one heck of a beatdown.
Every time he uses - or rather, abuses - that heavenly sword thing, he'll scream out "AETHER!"
And if he starts firing divine bullets, whew, don't expect a "Good game!"
Lastly, he'll use his Dash + B, the "Tenko Crusher." Oh, yes.
But there's more. The Hisou no Tsurugi will finish you off for sure.
Say no more? Yeah, you're right, I probably should say no more.
I'm not even sure if I'm going to bother changing this message in the final version.

(Reimu tries to enter... McDonalds?)

Reimu can't eat junk food. It gives her heartburn.
But she's fine with sake, of course.

Don't believe it or still don't believe it, but I'm a healer.

Pigmask
Ding-dong-ding-dong... Oh, is that the chime?
Ah, it's Lady Hakurei. Reimu Hakurei is here. Hinananny is awaiting.

(KREEEEESH)

Pigmask
Oof?!

Hinanai
Hiiiii, it's Hinanaaaaai! Reeeeeimu, you feelin' fiiiiine?

Tenshi
(You fruggin'... WHAT are you callin' me?! You think you're EIRIN or somethin'?!)

Pigmask
(D-Doesn't everybody from the sergeant to the captain call you Hinananny?!)
(I know Porky and Eirin call you Tenko, but...)

Tenko
Aether! HYAAAH!

(Smaaaaash!)

Pigmask
Yooooof! GEEZ that hurt!

Tenko
Team Reimu, meet me up in Hinanai Tower, and make it snappy!
No show, and I'm forfeittin' the lives of da hag, da fox, and da cat!

Hag
She got meee... Heeelp...

Da Fox
I'm taking a break. Doing nothing is so wonderful...

Cat
I got involved too, somehow. Who cares, I'm napping.

Marisa
Okay, fine, we'll save haggy and da fox. Might lead us to Porky, ze.

Yuka
That's not supposed to be why you're doing it...

Whoa, where are you guys from?

What would you call this, anyway? Westernizing?

(Yasakaya.)

Some very important science is going on inside. You don't want to interrupt SCIENCE, do you?

(Apartment complexes.)

Just looks like a plain old apartment complex.



[[ Hinanai Tower - Lobby ]]
Tenshi
You ain't nothin' but an ancient relic now, Hakurei!
You wanna meet me? Right above you! So get climbin'!
No elevators, that's for sure! You gonna sweat away for your ownsome!

Gotta live BIG! If you're a MAN!

It's a medal.

A radio.

An iGalleon.

It's labeled "Notebook Computer."

A second-hand shop sign.

A Kusanagi Sword, or something.
You took one look at the price, and yikes!

A Dragon Shield. Yep, it's pricey, alright.

Medabot 1... in helmet form.

Klonoa Heroes.
Hey, was that one any good?

It's labeled "Playstation 2."

Pigmask
The assembly hall is still being worked on.
Even a stray divine bullet could be disastrous, so no entry.

Pigmask
Beyond is an under-construction dungeon created solely for making you dead, Lady Reimu.
Furthermore, the bigshots have all placed their offices on the top floor.
Only authorized personnel are supposed to be able to enter... So, um... Please don't go in?

Pigmask
No elevators, that's for sure! You gonna sweat away for your ownsome! ...she said!

Sign
Just try me, Reimu! Hinanai Tower's gonna be your GRAVE!
Much like a young inventor, I've been working on it through the nights...
I've designed it with such tender loving care, you'd think it wasn't made to kill you!
Of course, unlike the rest of Hinanai City, I wasn't working on it for a month straight.
So there might be some rough spots.



[[ Hinanai Tower - Dungeon Tenshi ]]
Sign
This is Dungeon Tenshi. Anyone who enters, welcome. ...Tenshi

Sign
<Left> Right Way

Pigmask
I dunno how the Shinto priest manages to make such amazing songs.
He's got a good sense for danmaku, too, but are the lolis he makes alcohol-driven or what?
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Maybe there's some yet-unknown potential in alcoholic lolis?
Well, let's start with the getting alcoholic.

Pigmask
I'm different from right-handed Pigmasks. I'm more philosophical and prudent.

Tenshi
Yeah, this is a dead end. Why the hell would I give you a present for that? You FAILED.

Pigmask
I really wanted this to be more Dungeon Man-esque.
But I suppose it's all a matter of time and budget.

Pigmask
If you're keeping quiet, I guess I'll have to start.

Tenshi
I tried putting up a message-less sign. But I couldn't resist.

(Sign by a door to a right path.)

Tenshi
The end seems less dead behind the other door. Wonder why...

(Sign by a door to a left path.)

Tenshi
The end seems less dead behind the other door. Wonder why...

(The left one leads to a small dead-end room.)

Tenshi
Gosh, what'd I tell ya?

Tenshi
Way back when I first played Mother 1, the opening made me tear up a lil'.

Tenshi
Check it out, you can see the sky. Ain't it just the height of class?

Pigmask
Wish I could just not think about anything and only have to worry about work.

Tenshi
What's "HP" stand for? Hentai Power?

Collect the Stars!

You beat the bonus stage! Um, wherever it was!
Got the CityEastDoorKey!

Tenshi
Welcome back. Ah yes, next is the right side...

Pigmask
Maidens! You must recover!

Yuka
Man, Smash Dojo jokes are so out of style!

Pigmask
T-T-Take thiiis!

Mima
Don't be so nervous!

Pigmask
Bully me, please!

Pigmask
Hey! It's a d-d-d-duel!

Pigmask
I love Tenko!

<< a >>
a: All my stats have increased FIFTY-FOLD!
a: How will you like me POWERED UP?!
Name: a. Offense: 500. HP: 500. PP: 500.
Defense: 500. IQ: 500. Speed: 500. Experience: 0 times fifty.
Attacks: Default. Graphics: RTP.
Marisa: How'd he increase those all so... evenly?

a tackled with its whole body!
<< a was defeated! >>



[[ Hinanai Tower - Top Floor ]]
Tenshi Hinanai's room.

Suwako Moriya's cell.

(Reimu tries to enter.)

Door
Oh, Ribbity, my cute little Ribbity...

Her hat is a great companion to her, it would seem.

Yakumo family cell.

(Reimu tries to enter.)

The door won't open from this side.

Seems to be Kanako's room.
But she's typically over in the Yasakaya, and as such, rarely uses it. Apparently.

She's apparently not in.

Seems to be Eirin and Kaguya's room.

They're apparently not in.



[[ Hinanai Tower - Tenshi's Office ]]
Tenshi
Hiiiii, Reimu. How was it? Have fuuun?

Marisa
Shut it, you rotten lowlife. We're here for Haggy and Da Fox, so get with the returnin'.
If you comply, merciless Reimu here won't have to say a word against you.

Tenko
Puh-lease. If to err is to be an antiquated human, you are SO erred.

Tenshi
This is MY place now. I've got nowhere to go back to in the heavens.
This is New HINANAI City, and Tenshi Hinanai's its mayor, got it?
Look upon 'n' despair, losers.
Give it a year or so, and you morons will've all jumped on the winning bandwagon eventually.
Eh, but why gloat? Other than it being fun. You wanted the hag and da fox.

(Tenshi makes a call.)

Pigmask
You called?

Tenko
Bring the meddling hag and her fox here. And their little cat, too.

Pigmask
Understood.

(A cage with Yukari, Ran, and Chen lowers.)

Yukari
Please, do rescue me if you might, sweetieees!

Ran
Just another day will do. Allow me some time to play with Chen.

Chen
...zzz...

Marisa
...Alright, fine as they've ever been, I guess. Now hand 'em back, too.

Tenko
Ohhh! No.

Yukari
How?! Whhhy?!

Yuka
Hey, I know you! How can you let this happen to Gensokyo?!
All you've managed is to get CAPTURED?! And by HER of all people!
You should be taking charge here!

Yukari
Yukarin is so tiny-winy! How could sheee know?

Tenshi
...Only place this dysfunctional, non-functional family's going is back to their cell.

(The cage goes back up.)

Yukari
Red rum! Red rum!

Yuka
...
...

Tenshi
...Say, now, Yuka.
If I were to, y'know, be rid of those clods... would'ya try to stop me?

(Yuka steps forward.)

Yuka
...
...Uh, excuse me.

Tenshi
...Don't you stop. Hmm, what could be making you sooooo mad?
Is it seeing little Yukari for the coward she is? Or is it just meeeee?

Yuka
...

Tenshi
Hoo, well. Listen, Yuka and gang.
If you say the word that you wanna throw down, I'll be glad to play.

<< Fight with Ten -

(A Pigmask enters.)

Pigmask
REMILIAAAAA!

Tenshi
Whatta 'BOUT her?!

Pigmask
L-Let me speeeak!
Coming from the far west, there are zombies and bats and... Oh, my, it's frightening!
And all those creepy guys are heading our way!

Tenshi
Wooow. Sure sounds like Remilia, yep. Sounds like you oughta be going, incident-handler.

Marisa
Why, you...! You telling me THIS isn't the incident?!

Tenshi
What's that? The humans sure don't seem to think so, now do they?

Marisa
What are you saying...?! ...Psst, Miss Mima, you say something cool too!

Mima
How do you like the sound of ME as the next mayor?

Marisa
...Uh, Miss Mima, that's not really... Oh, whatever.

Yuka
Guess we gotta, Reimu. We'll be off.

Marisa
(Whaaat?!)

Yuka
(If we get your girlfriend, she might be a powerful aid. Yukari's of no use anymore.)

Marisa
(You mean Patchy? She's not my girlfriend, ze.)

Yuka
(...If we try to fight in Tenko's 'hood, we'll knock down plenty, but we're bound to wear out...)

Mima
(...I also find it likely that the other people in charge here would soon show up.)
(It'd be like fighting the Dragonlord right after Zoma. Not an easy task, you know?)

Yuka
(...Yeah, it'd be a hassle. We need some way of overturning this setup from the foundation.)

Mima
(...All in favor? All right, then.)

Yuka
'Kay, let's go.

Marisa
...Well, we made it here, but guess it was a waste after all.
But Tenko! I AM gonna take back our Gensokyo!
'Till then, sit back and count your pretty little hat-peaches!

Tenko
Sure, whatever you say... Sure would be nice if you could actually pull it off, though, huh?



[[ Empire Porky Building ]]
(Uh oh.)

Yuka
Hey, Reimu...
...What exactly used to be here before...?
Yes. That's right. There's no mistaking it.

(Yuka faces the building.)

Yuka attacked!

(The screen fades.)

What really happened is up to your imagination.

(Fade back in to a regrown Garden of the Sun. Whoa.)

Yuka
Okay, let's go.
Reimu, if I wasn't sure enough before, I'm now CERTAIN we need to obliterate these pigs.



[[ Scarlet Devil Mansion - Entrance ]]
Yuka
Looks like Remilia means business.
She's gathered up swarms of undead, around Stage 1 or 2 boss-level.

Mima
Who? Remi... Romy... Romiliet, or something?

Marisa
That's Remilia. RE-MI-LI-A.
Kinda like Kurumi, but way less of a wimp. She's actually a STRONG vampire.

Mima
Hmm...

(Hong is asleep in front of the middle door.)

Gatekeeper
Snooooork...

Marisa
Uh, wait. Let 'er be, and let's check on Patchy first, ze.



[[ Scarlet Devil Mansion - Patchouli's Room ]]
Marisa
Huzzah! I'm back, Patchouli!
Whoa what happened?!

Patchouli
...S-Sniff... Marisa...

Marisa
Is it your asthma?! A cold?! Some form of TERMINAL CANCER?!

Patchouli
N-Not any of that... I just feel entirely lacking in energy...

Marisa
Well, let's take a looksee at your stats!
What'd you do to get your PP down to zero?!

Patchouli
Something... somewhere... took my... magic...

Marisa
...Oh, 'kay. Sorry 'bout that.
...Waaait, hold up a sec. Miss Mima, if you would.

(Mima walks over to Patchouli and yanks a red demon thing out of her. Ouch?)

Mima
Ha-HAH!
Hey, bookie. Are you perhaps a little obsessed with something?

Red Guy
...Indeed. So you saw right through me, did you?
This girl's just been looking for help again and again...
Oh, hey, Marisa.
I was bound to be found out. I was residing in the book Patchouli was reading.
But thanks to your little sun bookmark, I was able to get out.
I'd been searching, waiting for a better body to use.

Marisa
Wha...? Man, didn't see that one coming...

(The demon goes back into Patchouli.)

Patchouli
...But, indeed. As this body is much too frail for me, I'll be using yours instead.
Give that body to me!

Mima
Is her body really all you're going for?

Yuka
Looks like we've got another guy who could use a gohei to the face...

<< Strange Patchouli. >>
Strange Patchouli chanted Kaboom!

Strange Patchouli tried PK Beam Beta!

Strange Patchouli used Hypnotism!

Strange Patchouli tried PK Thunder Alpha!

Strange Patchouli is coughing violently!
<< Strange Patchouli was defeated! >>

Patchouli
...Thanks for the help. ...As if I'd ever say anything like that to you.

Marisa
Alright, bookworm princess. Guess that's our Patchouli.
But, uh... sorry about tearin' you a new one. Did that hurt?

(Patchouli turns away.)

Patchouli
...How very cunning.
You'd do anything to get rid of me, it would seem.

Mima
She can be nice, sometimes. Spontaneously.

Yuka
She's rebellious. Being bad is just in her personality.

Patchouli
Oh, please! Stop right there!

Patchuuuli
I could fill five pages with your - that is, Marisa's - offenses against me.

Marisa
What, you THAT angry about the laserhole in the wall, ze?

Patchouli
Oh, Yuka.

Yuka
What?

Patchouli
No, I mean... not you! Who are YOU?

Mima
I'm Marisa's MOTHER, or at least a spinoff. I basically raised her.

Patchouli
...Hm. So you'd be the one to discipline her for taking things?

Mima
Sure, why not!

Patchouli
Well, just saying that it might not be too late, in my opinion.

Marisa
So, Patchouli. You're REALLY not hurt, right?

Patchouli
Yes, yes, I'm fine. ...Just a little tired.
Why are you so CLOSE?!

Mima
Yeahhh! Push 'er down!

Patchouli
Your mom strikes me as awfully rude.

Marisa
Well, that's 'cause she's actually my teacher.
Anyway, Patchy. About Remilia... uh, what happened with Remilia?

Patchouli
Remmy, that fool... Well, personally, I would say she's being foolish once more.

Marisa
Don't just go on about what a foolish fool she is.

Patchouli
But, SUCH foolery... Right, okay, she's too foolish for words, so I'll stop now.

Marisa
So WHAT HAPPENED WITH REMILIA?

Patchouli
"Rawwwr, I'm a vampire!", she said. "I'll become Count of all Gensokyo!", she said.
So she's gathering up legions of undead, probably planning to establish rule over this area.
And incidentally, Reimu, she was looking for you.

(Reimu !'s.)

Yuka
Guess she wants her to listen to a speech or something.

Mima
Who's this, Reimu? Your fiancee? How rude of you to keep a girl waiting.

Yuka
Yeesh, why do you run your mouth about people you don't know? That very idea is awful.

Patchouli
Reimu, all of you, you ought to go soon.
Remilia is very seriously considering capturing Hinanai City.
Meanwhile, Marisa will stay and drink this seemingly-called "Dr Pepper" beverage with me...
And we'll decide what to do about that red guy.

Marisa
Weird logic there. Sorry, I'm headin' for Remilia too, ze.
If she's gonna strike the human village, I ain't just gonna let her.

Patchouli
...O-O-O-O... Oh. Okay. ...Very well.
Well, if I give you this, I'm sure you'll, uh, be just as happy. Sniff.

Received the Vampire Killer.

Patchouli
So long as you have that, no matter how serious Remilia gets, she'll hardly be a problem.

Marisa
Well, even if a hardly-problem comes along, we'll whip it, ze!



[[ Scarlet Devil Mansion - Entrance ]]
Meiling
This is an aged world.
People indulge in idleness and the fruits of peace...
And it seems they do not see through the cracks of anxiety.
But anyone who did was not mistaken in doing so.
In the shadow of peace and idleness, there must inevitably be wicked things.
Peace will be undermined until idleness can no longer stand.
And the power of charisma shall rise again.
Those who will recreate this depraved world have assembled.
With smiles abound, their hopes for the extent of this recreation grow.
Six years later, wickedness has been renewed.
In the form of a bat, in the form of mist, in the form of a young girl, acting in the deep of night.
The life eternal, preserved by the blood flowing through the young maid.
Castlevania's... no, the Scarlet Devil Mansion's lord. Nay, god!
Mistress Remilia... has returned.

Gatekeeper
Please go through. The Mistress awaits.



<< Uncyclopedia >>
Uncylopedia: You wanna hear a fairytale?
Peh!
Long, long ago... eh, how many longs ago was it?
Long, long, long,
Long, long, long,
Long, long, long,
Long, long, long,
Long, long, long...
Slammed it shut!

Uncyclopedia read the "AAAAAAAA" article!
...So what did that do?

Uncyclopedia is lying through its... pages!
<< Uncyclopedia was defeated! >>



[[ Blood of Rebirth - Bridge ]]
From out of nowhere... rather, from inside, you heard a voice!

Remilia
Open, gates of Hades! Come, my servant!
Swat these pompous flies who dare dirty my castle!

<< DEATH >>
DEATH: You shall go no further!

DEATH threw a scythe!

DEATH threw a giant skeleton!
<< DEATH was defeated! >



Reimu... used the Magic Butterfly normally.
Reimu felt very relaxed.



[[ Blood of Rebirth - Hakurei Shrine?! ]]
Sign
If only the Hakurei Shrine were here, I'd come visit Reimu all the time.
When I rebuilt it here, I was hoping it'd look a little cooler than the real thing.



[[ Blood of Rebirth - Remilia's Room ]]
Remilia
Sakuya, are all preparations in place?

Sakuya
Yes, all.

(Reimu walks up to Remilia.)

Remilia
...Hmph. I've waited too long, Reimu.

Marisa
So it's you after all...
Tell me, why exactly are you only bothering to attack those "impure humans" now?

Remilia
Reimu. Though I have done this, half of the responsibility now lies with you.

Mima
Aw, another cute little demon.

Remilia
Reimu, in your absense, Gensokyo has gone crazy.
The situation is worse than ever before. Until now, it has not been your Gensokyo in the least.
Now, those who truly wield power here are that brat Porky and that lowlife Tenko.
Furthermore, the hag Eirin. Oh, and senile old Kanako.
We cannot entrust our world to any of them.
There is not one of them of worthy character enough to be left with Reimu's Gensokyo.
In such an era, I have been left to become the queen of the night.

Mima
I don't like the potential of where this is going.

Remilia
Those greedy humans, only wanting fame and power!
I will become the ONLY power! I will become the ONLY justice!

Marisa
Talk about a selfish speech!
Your judgement can say one thing, but the same won't be said of all people!
Gensokyo ill needs your twisted justice, ze!

Remilia
What is a human? A miserable little pile of excuses...
Is that brat not expanding for the sake of power, and leading for the sake of ego?

Marisa
Ah. Well, guess he'll fail sooner or later, then! So why don't you just step down?

Remilia
I shall not. Only I can rightly determine what is just!

<< Count Remilia >>
Count Remilia: This is true power!

Count Remilia tried PK Fire Gamma!

Count Remilia tried PK Thunder Gamma!

Count Remilia used Cut-Cut-Cuuut!

Count Remilia: Behold Our wonderous power! Fan!
Count Remilia slapped you repeatedly!

Count Remilia snapped toward you! "Let's play..."

(Near the end of Remilia's life meter, the music fades out.)

Miss Sakuya appeared!
Sakuya: Please, make use of my power!
Remilia: Soul Steal!
(Theme of Simon starts.)
Miss Sakuya's HP was absorbed!
Count Remilia recovered 7000 HP!
Also, all of Count Remilia's stats increased by 50!
<< Count Remilia was defeated! >>

Remilia
How... foolish...!

Marisa
If you've got power, and something to protect too, you can exceed any limit.
You can't ever let that love go, and when that love DOES end...!
...Uh, hold on, what am I saying?

Remilia
Welcome, Reimu. You're LATE!

Mima
Why are you ignoring everything that just happened?

Yuka
Vampires aren't interested in brains.

Mima
Oh, really?

Yuka
Yeah, really.

Marisa
But really, Remilia, we kinda did get what you were thinking, ze.
So we weren't slow, now or ever. Now, cooperate with Reimu.

Remilia
Understood, Master! Remilia shall be Lady Reimu's dog! Arf arf!

Yuka
...Gensokyo ill needs such an idiot.

Mima
Alice, neither.

Yuka
Now that you mention it... Wait, never mind, you're just a jerk.
Remilia, we need to hear something from you.
Do you know the details on how this Gensokyo came about?
Can you tell us everything?

Remilia
Gotcha. Yeah, Sakuya should have the data.

(Remilia looks over at the fallen Sakuya.)

Remilia
...Well, did.

(She walks over and... picks something up from her, I guess.)

Remilia
Data get!
Well, now, this could be a long one. Ready?
Sakuya! Projector!

(Remilia looks over at her again.)

Remilia
I know, it's not very interesting the second time around, either.



(Picture of Porky talking with Kanako, with Aya and Momiji hiding on the side.)

Remilia
Now, where should I begin...?
Right. From here.
Reimu. You saw Kanako Yasaka's bizarre experiment, did you not?
It seems that she indeed succeeded in bringing back Porky's memories.
Afterward, Porky said something like this to her...
"If you work with me, we'll get faith from the whole world!"
Yasaka approved of this proposition without a moment's hesitation.

(Picture of Porky in his spider mech talking with Tenshi, Kaguya, and Eirin outside Eientei.)

Remilia
And then, Reimu. Since you were running about like such fools, you let this slip by.
Truly, sloppy. You're such trash to have fallen so behind...

Marisa
We were being USEFUL fools, though!

Remilia
I'm sure you were. Moving on.
With that, Porky began plans for a massive feast.
Then, with the reason of "bored," Tenshi Hinanai came by once more.
Tenko heard Porky and said something like this...
"Ain't that a hoot! Just leave it to me, kid."
"Me and you, we're gonna make Gensokyo over anew."
Porky perceived Tenshi's power in a single glance.
Now, it seemed he was even more confident he couldn't be defeated.
Maybe they had similar reasons for doing what they do? Who knows.

(Picture of Sanae in a forest somewhere.)

Remilia
Meanwhile, I sent out Sakuya to check on Porky's situation.
The frog who had separated from Kanako, too, was using Sanae to postpone an incident.
However, seeing as we came back with absolutely no information...
It seems we were searching in entirely the wrong places.

(Picture of Tenshi standing on the drum generator facing Sanae and Iku.)

Remilia
Well, regardless, for just a grain of a moment, Sanae's hope almost became reality.
Yet she was defeated in a just-as-short instant.
It seems Miss Nagae was acting too, having heard similar word from the sky dragons.
Yet Porky, or someone, found them and removed them, almost as if it were just as planned.
Thanks to the generator, Porky's Gensokyo made astounding progress.
It was a Gensokyo-crusher all on its own...

(Picture of Tenshi defeating Yukari in a Fire Emblem battle.)

Remilia
And with the same force, Yukari was defeated.
Yes, and for me to go so stupidly-easily...
I thought, absolutely not.

(Picture of Tenshi's office with Sakuya, Alice, Patchouli, and Youmu facing Porky's gang.)

Remilia
And so, just yesterday.
Simply put, all the Stage 6 bosses were invited.
Those remaining were...
With no will whatsoever, Yuyuko.
Overloaded with work, the Enma Shikieiki.
And thus, with no support... me.
So all that had absolutely no point.



Remilia
And here's where you come in.
If we declare war on Tenko City, you'll have to be the ones going back there.

Marisa
...

Remilia
...Yeah, I realize that's kind of an oddly tense thing to say.
Alright, Reimu. The rest is up to you. I don't know anything else.
And as for what I'LL do, well, I'll just follow you.
So, Reimu!
Just like with youkai... Cause an incident!

Marisa
Buh-what?!

Remilia
Buh what indeed? When you were gone, an incident was, unfortunately, resolved.
Yes, your absence resolved the "incident" of Gensokyo never changing.
But that is an incident that must be negated with an oppositely-charged incident!
And so, the only way to return this world to normal is to bring about your own incident.

Marisa
That's just...!

Yuka
...Saying "incident" a lot, I agree. The underlying concept's tried-and-true, though.
...But we'll have to hold off for now.
...We've still got things to do.

Remilia
...Right. Well, I'll be waiting.
...Call me when it's time to take action. Call me, and I'll call everybody.

Yuka
Gotcha.

Remilia
Oops, almost forgot. Suppose I gotta do the USUAL thing...

(Fade to Castlevania 1 ending. The top of the castle takes off like a rocket and comes spiraling back down.)

Patchouli
What was that.



[[ Scarlet Devil Mansion - Voile Library ]]
Marisa
Patchouli, I'm home!

Patchouli
WHAT home...? This is NOT your house, especially not to destroy.
So, expecting a meal? A bath? Sleepy already?

Marisa
Okay, NOW I wanna be with you, ze.

Mima
Just marry already!

Patchouli
Er, Marisa's mother, spinoff, whatever... Marisa has at least three other people in line for that.

Mima
Well, why can't EVERYBODY be Marisa's wife?

Marisa
Um, that's a little weird, don'tcha think?

Yuka
And since when did Gensokyo allow polygamy?

Marisa
And who's wearin' the pants in these relationships?!
...Oh, forget it. Back to Tenko, we've got a complaint to register.

Mima
You should make out more often. Wouldn't that be nice?

Marisa
Geez, you're unbelievable!
And yet somehow, I figured the conversation would head in this direction...

(Cutscene ends.)

Remilia
Girls must be brave, Reimu. I'll be waiting warmly for your success.

Patchouli
What? You're here again?
To mooch some more SAKE off me, I suppose?
< I need it! / Don't need it >

(There's still a sign in front of Koakuma's door.)

The game itself has made too many jokes about Koakuma to actually show her.
Let's just hope the creator receives his swift justice for this sooner or later.



[[ Hinanai Tower - Lobby ]]
WARNING! ENEMY SIGHTED WITHOUT AUTHORIZATION!

Mima
What's that?!

(Sanae's shooting at the wall or something and making the screen flash green. Reimu walks in front of her.)

Marisa
What's going on?! Sanae?!
Sanae, what happened?! Even if you do this...!

Mima
I don't think she's listening! It's no good... She's coming for us!

<< Miss Sanae >>
Miss Sanae ran around really fast!

Miss Sanae shot hard-hitting missiles!

Miss Sanae span through the air and tackled!

Miss Sanae is crouching and holding her head!
<< Miss Sanae was defeated! >>

Sanae
...

Marisa
H-Hold on! Sanae!

(Sanae !'s. A Pigmask punches her.)

PUNCH!

Tenshi
Pig, send 'er back to Porky.

Yuka
Were those... modifications...?

Tenshi
Sure were.
Master Porky says he used to train animals, but yeah, it may be closer to remodeling.
So he can brainwash people to be much more useful. As slaves to us, that is.
Won't listen to a damn thing, though.
This one went nuts, and guess her immediate goal was seein' everything destroyed.

Tenko
Sorry 'bout that. We were just lucky havin' cyborg ninja Reimu Hakurei to help.

Marisa
How long have you been making game-lengthening bosses out of people like this?!

Tenko
Hey, not me, it's Porky who's been settin' all that stuff up.

Tenshi
Y'know, if your thick heads'd just let this fly, you could go about your whole lives in comfort.
Bye, losers. Ever got anything more for me, I'd be SO ecstatic.

(Tenshi goes up the stairs, then changes her mind and goes out the door to the left.)

Marisa
...Reimu... Porky IS mistaken here, right...?

Yuka
...Yeah, no duh.
Marisa, I'm pretty sure there's just about NOTHING right going on here.
So we've got to do something for ourselves.
...Though there might be only one thing we can do.
And that's collecting "his" melodies.

Mima
And so what if we do?

Yuka
It'll reverse the incident, or stop it, or something! Maybe!
So! It's time! Melody time! 4/4 time! And with them, we'll win! Or so we'll say!

Mima
That took long enough. Shall we search?

Yuka
Yeah, long enough, that's for sure... um... Yeah, I have no idea where to search.



[[ Netherworld ]]
Rumia
Howdy. Welcome to Pitch Black House.
If it's a horrible death you want, this Pitch Black Sword should be just the thing.
Oh, right, I'm EX now. Sorries.
Tenko helped me out there. And don't think you can ask for forgiveness.
But, oh, I know you people on the other side of that screen well...
You won't even dignify me with real words. I KNOW you're saying something like "EX OMG LAWL!"
If you just shield everybody up and heal like normal, you'll probably win the battle eventually.
But when I suddenly SMAAAAASH you like a bug, you won't ever be able to forget.
That's why I tried to ambush you here. I dunno how well it worked, but hey.
Now, learn your place!

<< Pitch Black Rumia >>
Pitch Black Rumia's attack! [Instant Death]

Pitch Black Rumia's attack! [Moonbeam]

Pitch Black Rumia's attack! [Meteor]
<< Pitch Black Rumia was defeated! >>

Marisa
Wow, that was really something.



[[ Yuyuko's House ]]
Marisa
Oh, it's juzyou. Zellooooo! Er, I mean... Hellooooo.

Yuyu
Ah, yes, welcome. Youmu, tea?

Youmu
...Reimu, Marisa, Yuka... And one more?

Mima
Hey, twins! We're both fake ghosts.

Youmu
Well, half-ghost would be more accurate, actually...

Marisa
Lady Yuyuko! ...Wait, the hell? Yuyuko! Heard anything from Yukari 'bout the melodies?

Yuyuko
Yukari hasn't been coming around lately. Is she being a layabout as always?

Marisa
...Er, sure?

Youmu
You sound rather NOT sure.
...The shinigami has been looking for you all.

Mima
You mean Mrs. Death?

Marisa
You mean Komach'?

Yuka
Who? Oh, you mean the girl with the nice... er, boat.

Youmu
Stop it, you four! I mean Lady Onozuka!

Yuka
Ono... zuka...?

Yuka
Onozuka...
Oh, so we ARE talking about Komachi, then?

Marisa
Hey, maybe Xana-tan's got something for us!

Yuka
But does that mean we're going to Muenzuka? If so, most important to us is where IS it?

Youmu
...Eh?

Yuyuko
Just die and survive, simple as that. Now hurry up and go.

Yuka
Those goals seem awfully contrary...

Yuyuko
What, haven't you ever thrown yourself at the ground and missed?

Mima
Pfft, you guys are such pansies. It's easy.

Marisa
No, no, YUKA'S the pansy. Me, I can't even stand the smell of those things.

Yuyuko
So... that isn't going to work? ...Youmu, please do something.

Youmu
No, that's impossible... I couldn't...

Yuyuko
Hmmm...

Komachi
Gosh darnit BLAST! Just HOW many times does that make you breakin' mah S.S. Komachi Special?!

Lady Shiki
Silence, Komachi. Its lack of use and caretaking in nearly a month made evident it was at its last.

Komachi
Learn ta use commas? 'n' could ya talk a lil' slower?!

Lady Shiki
Such utter carelessness is clearly why, as they reported, "Reimu Lost! Adventure Totally Over!"

Komachi
No, for reals! There's these thingerdoodles called PUNK-CHOO-AY-SHON MARKS?
Lady Shiks! You're a friend, so why'dya...
Why'dya give ME all these duties?!

Lady Shiki
Because you DO NOT WORK!
Back in my day, did youngsters not receive double the homework should they neglect to do it?!
And here I am! And why, I HATE math!
What ARE numbers?! What IS probability?! All I need are one hundred percent and zero!
What fool would go resetting until a three-percent-chance K.O. hit?!

Komachi
How 'bout I just got part-time at a pizza place?

(The screen flashes yellow.)

Komachi
GYARK! Lady Shiks! Just joshin' ya! ...SO DON'T PK THUNDER MEEEH!

(Komachi riding her boat gets thrown across the screen from the bottom of the screen. Apparently they've been standing outside?)

Yomachi
AH'MMA TERRIBLE CONDUCTOOOOOR!!

(Screen fades and Komachi's standing at the table.)

Komachi
Yeesh, nearly got cinder-ized there.

Marisa
<Hey, chesty lady. You alive?>

Komachi
<Yeah, somehow...>
I'll hook ya up with Lady Shiks. Here.

(Komachi gets - or makes, I guess - a CALL.)

Lady Shiki
Right. You were coming to be as mistaken as a human.
You weren't acting normally. So I had to get weird on you.
...But I ought to stop now.
Huh? ...Ah, Komachi made it there while I wasn't looking, I see.
Good day, Reimu. Things have been going so well between us that we haven't even had to talk.
Do you have some request for me?
Marisa. Lie as you might, those lies will never trick anyone.

(Komachi walks away, knowing this'll be a long one.)

Lady Shiki
Such wholly useless lies. But I will concede you've been a bit more honest lately.
Or, no, perhaps it was who you truly were all along?
Yuka, hurry up and die. You've lived far too long for anyone's good.

Yuka
Pfft, seems to me you're the only one who doesn't like me.

Lady Shiki
...Who's this? Strange, there's not a scrap of data on you...

Mima
Sore wa himitsu desu. It's a secret to everybody.

Yuka
You're better off ignoring this fool.

Lady Shiki
But you're ALL f... I said nothing.
That's right, Reimu. I have found a melody.
However... well.
As I would prefer to explain the details all at once, I suggest you come to me.
Komachi, I entrust you to guide them.

Marisa
She's outta here, ze.

Lady Shiki
...So I understand.
I reside in Muenzuka, so for now, head to the youkai mountain.
Let that shinigami to her own devices.
I'll merely borrow Remilia's shinigami for the time being.

Marisa
...Wait, we got no way about that, ze. The ways to the mountain are all blocked up!

Xana-tan
Look for such things yourselves! Ah, yes...! Everything is in its place!

(Cutscene ends.)

Yuyuko
Sounds like there's a lot, but we're counting on you.

Youmu
Alright, good luck.



[[ Netherworld ]]
Marsisa
Wait! Somebody there?! My antenna went off, ze.
...Well? Do something interesting!

(Nitori steps out.)

Nitori
It's just Nitori, standing over to the side, not being very visible.

Marisa
THERE!

(Mima runs up to Nitori.)

Mima
Ugaaahhh!

Nitori
Kyaaaaa!

Marisa
Calm down, Miss Mima! She's a friend!

Mima
Ugah! Ugagaaah! Uga uga ugaaah! Ugagagah!

Marisa
It's been quite a while, Nitori.

Nitori
Ugah! Ugagaaah! Uga uga ugaaah! Ugagagah!

(The screen fades out. KREEEEENG. Mima is standing back with the party.)

Nitori
Marisa, at last we meet...

Marisa
Oh, you worried me, Nitori.

Yuka
They sure got back to normal quick...

Mima
Who is it this time? ...Ah, Nitori, was it? One of the "three other people" Patcho mentioned?

Marisa
...N-No... 'course not! Nitori! Again, why are you here?!

Nitori
I wanted to meet with you, Marisa...

Mima
Hm... hoohoohoo.

Nitori
Because I thought you might know how to prevent me from going on hardware store sprees...

Marisa
...Wha?! Hell if I know, ze! Don't rely on me for absurd crap like that!

Yuka
You're way off the mark asking a witch.
They couldn't care less about the economy. They're masters of extravagance.

Marisa
A-Anyway! Nitori! What the hell happened?! Really?!

Nitori
I just wanted to meet you, Marisa! That's it! I was so scared and alone!

Mima
Uwheeheeheehee...

Marisa
U-Um, I'm glad, I guess, but... w-w-why meee...?

Nitori
Simply put, because power is expensive.

Mima
...Um, isn't that a little strange to bring up?

(Nitori grabs Marisa and jumps back.)

Nitori
...GYAAAH! GHOOOST! Marisaaa! Heeelp meee!

Marisa
Oh, no, Nitori. She's just an evil spirit. Nothing scary 'bout her, ze.

Nitori
Why NOT?! Where can you find things scarier than THAT?!

Marisa
Well, there WAS that severed head that jumped out at me...

Nitori
LA LA LA LA LA I'M NOT LISTENIIIIING!!

Mima
Don't worry, it's only said to pop out from your pillow in the dead of night...

Nitori
M-MARISA! We're sleeping together tonight! Okay?!

Marisa
Uh... rather not, actually...

Yuka
Oh, stop bullying the kappa, already.
Kappa are a cowardly bunch, y'know.

Nitori
Yu... ka...?

Marisa
Weren't YOU a bully...?

Mima
Oh no, what have we become, better let off. Party pooper.

Yuka
...Back to reality, we should just grow some mandrakes at Nitori's house instead.
Then we can not care if she starts screaming bloody murder.

Marisa
Anyway, Nitori. This joyous soul, the evil spirit, is Miss Mima.
She was once my awesomest teacher ever, ze.

Nitori
...T-That so...

Marisa
It sure is.
So it's fine. No bald head's gonna pop outta your pillow, and ain't nothin' else wrong with it.

Nitori
...Even so, um... are you still gonna sleep with me...?

Mima
YESSSSS!

Nitori
...

Yuka
Nitori, you came from the mountain, right?

Nitori
Yeah.

Yuka
We've got things to do on the mountain, but how do you think we can get there?

Nitori
I, uh... I was so intent on meeting Marisa no matter what, and I just kinda ended up here...

Mima
Are you sure you're not, you know, dead?

Marisa
...So you're no help, huh?
...Well, Shikieiki's waiting for us with a melody.

Nitori
...Gotcha. Marisa, give me a day.

Marisa
For what? Pretty sure Porky's got the air covered, so another fridge won't work, ze.

Nitori
You'll be set once I connect the gaps.

Marisa
...Can you? Even though Yukari's being a useless bum?

Nitori
Yeah, I can.

Marisa
...Alright. Thanks, Nitori.

Nitori
...I don't need thanks, Marisa. I'm just doing what I want to do.

Marisa
...Thanks, Nitori.

Patchouli
Stop right there.

(Patchouli teleports in.)

Patchouli
I despise fools who speak foolishly of foolish things and do them foolishly to such foolish ends.
In particular, the black-white blonde is so consistently foolish, I can't lend her a thing.

Marisa
...By the way, are we missing a fool?
Yeah... Alice... Sure hope she's alright...

Patchouli
You wish to go to the mountain? Very well.

Patchoulin
Much unlike your "Occupation: Magician" offensive magic...

Patchouli
Allow me to show you some REAL magic.
Are you prepared for an instantaneous flight?

Marisa
If it's fast, make it faster.

Patchouli
I see. Well, off you go. Consider this returning the favor.
Range, ready. Angle, ready. Direction, 445...
Come back safely, now.

Patchouli chanted "Limbo!"



[[ Youkai Mountain ]]
Marisa
Man, couldn't she have made it flashier than that...?

Marisa
Such a peculiar... mountain.

(Most shops are...)

Closed.

(There's a red-haired tengu left.)

Yeah, I really probably should've moved with everybody else.



[[ Youkai Mountain ]]
(Reimu takes the other rope - the old one is now blocked by NO STEPPING ants - and finds a monochrome submarine. The black and white color is purely coincidental.)

Lady Shiki
I've lent you a monochrome submarine.
Ride this, and you'll autopilot right to Muenzuka.
However, please take caution.
The incident has had a direct effect on Muenzuka...
So hardly a trace of its past appearance remains.
Furthermore, it has lost its connection to the Road of Reconsideration.
So, just be careful.



[[ Muenzuka ]]
S-chan
There, there, children. What do you need?
< Money / Sleep >

[ Sleep ]
S-chan
Whether you come again or not, it's fine.
Right, and you ought to take this.

Got the Seifer.

(There's a Suwako hat with a snorkel.)

Marisa
You... uh, whatever.

(Mimics, too? Muenzuka is truly the worst.)

Yahhh.



[[ Muenzuka - Outside Shikieiki's House ]]
Sign
The monochromehome of Shikieiki.



[[ Shikieiki's House ]]
Lady Shiki
W-What is it, you?! Please, don't come in without knocking!

Marisa
Why you so surprised to see us?

Mima
She looks like a child. And not even one in a high grade, just an elementary kid.

Xana-tan
Who IS that person?

Lady Shiki
She'd better be going to hell soon enough... if she pleases.

Yuka
It's fine, Xana-tan. There's lots of Marisa dolls back at Alice's house.
But seriously, it's slightly sickening seeing you acting like a little girl.

Eiki
...That... is... that... so...? ...Yu... ka?

Yuka
Buh.

Eiki
I said nothing.

Yuka
Look, we're in a hurry. So give us the melody already.

Shiki
...Well, that is...

Lil' Shiki
This powerful spirit is disorienting me somewhat, though I do still have it...

Yuka
Then you damn well better get playing it.

Shiki
Ah! I'm being foolish! I'll, uh, stop being foolish!

Lady Shiki
Understood! I shall sing! Yes, I really ought to sing!

Yuka
...Oh, for me?

(The screen fades in and out. Some weird trumpet sound plays.)

Wrong, all wrong! The melody was unintelligible!

Shiki
Oh, my, oh, my... I'm even more tone deaf than I remember.

Lady Shiki
I wanna go hooome...

Yuka
C'mon, for Yooky?

Lady Shiki
...

(Cutscene ends.)

Lady Shiki
Well, you can't have come for nothing, right? There must be something here.



[[ Muenzuka ]]
?
DO YOU UNDERSTAAAAAND?!
I have come all this way to promote my game, Touhou Kandagawa: fusi a nasan!

Marisa
Yeah, and WHO are you?

?
I am the girl from hell, Suzuki Rinbokusan! The brainchild of Shinagawa!

Rinbokusan
You have done well to make it this far! But all it gets you is a fistful of my beatings, ze!

Marisa
Whatever that means.

Mima
But who cares, anyway?

Yuka
Shut the nonsense, you obscure reference. It'd be nice if you just handed us the melody.

Rinbokusan
Aha, ze! So that's why you came! Don't lie, I scared the pants off you, ze!

Marisa
Why're you imitating me? Stop it.

Mima
You worried Alice might fall for her?

Marisa
She doesn't like me JUST for my "ze"... I think.

Rinbokusan
Do you understand! Heh, if you want a melody so bad, I'll give one to ya, ze!
I've got a real classical piece for you! Let's rock!! I'm betting on ME!

Marisa
What is WITH this scene?

Rinbokusan
Hand over your SALARYYYYYYYYYY!!

<< Rinbokusan >>
Rinbokusan: Because of these two barriers...!
Rinbokusan: I've obtained the power of invincibility!
RInbokusan: ...Or at least, the barriers have.

Rinbokusan tried PK Shield-Off!

Rinbokusan tried PK Daddy Alpha!

Rinbokusan tried PK Wanna Do It? Beta!

Passhon made an annoying noise!
<< Rinbokusan was defeated! >>

The girl nobody knew disappeared on the wind.
Reimu heard the sound of the wind. Reimu remembered the melody.

Yuka
Well, at least that makes this better than COMPLETELY pointless.
Let's head back to Shiki's.



[[ Shikieki's House ]]
Lady Shiki
Welcome to Shikieiki, judge of Hell's room.

Mima
Yeah, great job on all that nothing you did.

Lady Shiki
Reimu. Did you find a melody? I'm not hearing an answer.
If you didn't find anything, I would suggest that you please go find something.

Eiki
Is that so? It is of more importance than anything...

Mima
Um, anybody following this trainwreck of a conversation?

Lady Eiki
Just joking. Please, just consider it a joke.
Anyways, you found something, right? Well, isn't that nice.

Marisa
Uh, Miss Shiki... Did someone drop you on the head?

Lady Shiki
Yes. I mean... no. Shut up, I was just in deep thought.
So, yes. This incident would be best not to ignore.

Eiki
And don't worry, I'm feeling very much fine. Relatively.

Lady Shiki
First of all, in the first place, all of Porky's plots are a series of incidents, aren't they?
When the revolution occured, the rascals at the Moriya Shrine were somehow put in power.
So, what exactly do you hate about Porky? ...Or just dislike?

Marisa
...Well, he's an egotistical brat, for one thing.

Shiki
Agreed, and no justice or morality can follow from that.
To neglect one's true value is most improper of a living creature.

Lady Shiki
...At this point, we cannot merely say "it's Gensokyo, so it's fine."

Yuka
...I couldn't possibly say that what he's doing isn't an incident.
The question is, how much incident can we put up with?
But yes, he's very selfish. And if we think too hard about this, we'll just lose.
So I'll just tell you that idiot colliding with idiot has always allowed Gensokyo to be at peace.
That should be good enough reason why we should get him outta here.

Shiki
...So you think it would do us all well to do so. As do I.
Well, then, let me ask you my next question.
Let us assume you do finish collecting the melodies.
...What will it do?

Lady Shiki
What will happen? Will this world return to its former self, or fall into disaster?

Mima
The melodies will clear away those who have turned to evil.

Marisa
How are you so good at finding suitable things to say...?

Eiki
...It's a song of destruction, is it?

Mima
Yeah?

Marisa
...Who knows?... I don't, but...
It looks like that's about all we've got, ze... US, anyway...

Shiki
...That seems to be so as well...
Reimu. Were I handing down a judgement on you, I would not bias myself toward you.
That would be unbefitting of my position.
But as this is quite a different case, I have freely decided that I shall cooperate with you.

Got the [Five Elements].

Lady Shiki
It is something I received long ago from the honorable Enma.
Wood, fire, earth, metal, water.
The power of the universe is in this blade. Master using it and you can have this.

(The game opens the menu so you can equip it.)

Lady Shiki
...Well, leaving Muenzuka would prove quite the ordeal, of course.
But with my power, I can send you anywhere you wish.
Lastly, please do whatever you can. You should certainly be able.



[[ Thunder Tower ]]
Pigmask
Look at this generator, providing energy all over Gensokyo...
If this thing got broken, life in the village would practically stop.

Pigmask
That's right.

Pigmask
Well, we've vowed to die for Lady Tenshi's sake.
And Lady Tenshi was the one who told us to help the humans from the outside world.
So as long as we just protect this, whether Lady Tenshi's sad or not, we're set, right?

Pigmask
You know, you're right!

Pigmask
Even if she wanted to betray us, we'd like her.
Uh, wait. Not like she'd ever want to do that.

Pigmask
I know, I'm with you.

(Reimu teleports right in front of the Pigmasks.)

Pigmask
We're here and we'll die making sure this generator doesn't get destroyed so just GO HOME!!

Marisa
Wasn't that a TAD sudden?!

(Fight with Hamalot and Horsepig.)

Marisa
What's this? Some huge drum?

Mima
...Yeah, it IS a drum. I almost don't feel like smashing it.

Yuka
Wasn't expecting to see a drum here. Me neither.

Generator
Please forgive me.

(The screen fades and the drum is gone. Okay, whatever.)

Yuka
Okay, let's go.

(Pigmaaaaasks!)

Pigmask
And once again, it's HYPERPIGMASK TIME!

Pigmask
Gah! Humans!

Pigmask
YAHOO!!

Marisa
Is that all you're here for? Yelling "yahoo"?

Mima
Why... would...?

Pigmask
Don't mind me. I'm actually just a dragonfly.

Pigmask
Satori! Satori! Satori! SatoriiiIIIiiiIIIiiiaaaaaaaaaa!!!
Aaaaa... ah... ahhh! Aaaaahhhhh!! SatorisatorisatoriiiIIIawahhhhh!!
Ahh, thump, thump! Thumpthump! Pant pant pant pant that felt good.

Marisa
At least turn the other way, ick.

Pigmask
*Ooops!*
^ This was a Wizardry joke.
I learned how to pronounce it from Suwako...
It's an art to enunciate asterisks, I tell you!

Pigmask B
W-What...?!

Pigmask
I'm a pig. How old? Around 23. 24 this year. Do I look it?

Pigmask
Hm, how to say this...
Looks like Team Reimu's destroyed the generator agaaain! ...No, that doesn't work.

Whoops! Stepped on something!
Reimu's party was fully recovered!

(Reimu finds Elly. Wait, what?)

Elly
I'm hungryyy... I wanna go hooome... Where aaam I...?

Yooky
Elly...?

(Elly !'s.)

Elly
Y-Yooky! I mean, LADY Yooky! W-Why are you here?!

Yuka
No, how about why are YOU here? Or better yet... where IS here?

Elly
I noticed a stupid-huge tower had appeared behind us.

Mima
That doesn't explain how you got so lost that you ended up in another world.

Elly
Well, I did.

Yuka
...Did you see this tower appear?

Elly
No, just heard it. Anyway, it's all good.
Now let's get out of here!

(Reimu follows Elly into the reception desk where Suwako was way back in the Sanaetroid part.)

Eirin
...Ah, the ones who decided the generator needed a "break"... And who've come running right to me.

Marisa
This here is Miss Eirin. Kill!

Eirin
Rash, aren't you? You're still so weak.
...Well, now. I may have to deal with you, but I didn't come unprepared.
...Hello, Tewi? Will you call Udonge for me?

Tewi
Okay, sure.

(Reimu looks up to see cyborg Reisen and Tewi, who... walk down the wall?)

Eirin
Excellent. Spin once, if you please!

(Reisen obeys.)

Eirin
Well? This is my New Udonge.

Newdon
...

Tewi
She's making herself useful for fighting now.

New Udon
I'm sorry... I finally fell into my master's hands, and she gave me this robotic body.
Now I'm nothing more than a puppet to my master.
Destroy me, but please, don't think I've done anything wrong...

Tewi
"Rip 'n' tear 'em a new one! Have atchoo!", she's saying.

Eirin
...Ah, of course, I couldn't hold her back even if I wanted to.
Recently, I designed her some infrared rays. Quite useful.

New Udon
...Uguuuh... uuuuuh...

Tewi
And... such pretentious... morons... die! Something along those lines.

New Udon
I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry...!

<< New Udonge >>
New Udonge fired strange medicine!

New Udonge threw lots of suppositories!

New Udonge created a shield!
<< New Udonge was defeated! >>

New Udon
Reimu... you... can't... be... wrong!
The... wrong one... is mas... ter...!

(Reisen flashes white.)

New Udon couldn't move anymore.

Marisa
...This is getting all KINDS of screwed up, Eirin!

Eirin
I suppose... uwheehee...

(They teleport away.)

Marisa
Argh! Reimu! Look at what they've done! Reisen's practically DEAD!

Yuka
...Regardless of if that's a bad thing, Elly ran away. Let's follow.



[[ Mugenkan - Entrance ]]
Marisa
Alice! We finally meet! I've been lookin' all over!

Alice
...Marisa! MORON! I was LONELY!

Marisa
Hey, Alice, I was pretty lonely too, ze.

Alice
Shut your mouth! Don't you EVER talk to me again!

Yuka
Um, we should take this elsewhere. Quickly.



[[ Mugenkan - Table ]]
Elly
I'm back!

Shinki
Welcome back.

Yuka
...Who are you?

Mima
She's Shinki, isn't she? Did you forget already?

Yuka
But why are you here at Mugenkan?!

Shinki
'Tis the eternal riddle of mankind...

Mima
Yeah, but do you know the answer?

Shinki
Well, uh, we just ended up at Mugenkan for some reason.
And then so did Alice. We had quite a long talk.
But if you have something to say, Mima, I think I'd like to hear it.

Yuka
...So would I.

(Mima ...'s.)

Mima
...The border's getting weaker.

Yuka
...That... can't... be...

Mima
...Yes. Yes, maybe it can't.
Well, first of all, aren't Gensokyo and the outside world growing closer?
So here and the outside world have become very close.
And even things that should not be able to enter are being let through.
And in what I clearly see as a connection, the walls of my world are weakening as well.
With the wall worn down, it seems this place could end up here.
And that's why, Shinki, you had that melody.

Shinki
Dude? That's rad.

Yuka
In short, we need to crush Tenko and/or bratty fast.

Mima
Yes. Gensokyo, land of illusions, is becoming an illusion... it's disappearing.

Shinki
This seems shockingly serious.

Yuka
It is quite the affair, yes.
Marisa, we have to go...!

(Twilight Magician plays.)

Yuka
This is no time to dawdle on appearances!
You heard her! If we're too slow, we'll all disappear!!

Marisa
'Course I gotcha, ze! Alice! You're comin' too!

Alice
...No, I'm not.

Marisa
W-Why's that? It's not just because the engine isn't designed for more than four people, is it?

Mima
...What "engine"?

Alice
...I'll wait for you, Marisa. Okay?

Marisa
...Oh, fine.

Yuka
Well, just try to keep Marisa in your prayers, then.

Mima
Be cool!

Alice
...Marisa. Rather than look after you myself, take this.

Received the Catcher.

Marisa
...Hey, gladly accepted, ze. I'll be back for sure, everybody!



[[ Hinanai Tower - Tenshi's Office ]]
Kanako
Reimu... It has been some time.

Marisa
...Yasakalaka? That's... different. Where's Tenko at?
Tell me or get your butt outta here.

Kanako
Hm. I would do so promptly, but I have a job to do.
Truth is, the Starmen have taken hold of the Yasakaya.
Won't you go take it back from them?

Marisa
Don't fool yourself! Why the hell would we listen to YOU?!
You wanna do something, get it done yourself!
You done TRAINING Sanae yet?! You JERKS!

Kanako
...No, actually, they aren't done. ...She's been surprisingly tough.
They've been electrocuting her and whipping her daily, but it's had no effect at all.
...All it's done is cause her to mutter incoherently.

Marisa
...

Kanako
...Now, get going.

Marisa
...So you're just treating Sanae like a prisoner?

Kanako
I am. With the possible exception of weirdo Yuka, I do not soon seek to desert you.

Marisa
...Good. 'Cause I'm a friend of justice!

Kanako
Now, then, I ask you.

Mima
...How long you planning to keep this up?



[[ Yasakaya ]]
This door needs a security card to open.
That's what it says, and nothing more.
You can search for a cardkey, fine, or force your way through, fine.
However, take caution! You aren't actually strong enough to tear it open!

(Elevators are out of order.)

"Power's out," it says.

This door needs a key to open.
That's what it says, and nothing more.
You can search for a key, fine, or give up and head back, fine.
However, take caution! It says nothing about what a "key" really is!

However, take caution! This door doesn't need a key at all!

Starman
...Why are you here? *click* Why now?!
...Then... Those cursed *beep* pigs! Are we... at our *whirr* end...?

Mima
What are you talking about? Let's rock this.

Starman
Wait!... No, *click*. I see that this is *bzzt* how it must go.

<< Ancestral Starman >>
Ancestral Starman tried PK PSI Shield Epsilon!

Ancestral Starman tried PK Starstorm Alpha!
<< Ancestral Starman was defeated! >>

Starman
...This is... *whirr*... it. This makes for the end of it all.
Finish me off.

Marisa
Sorry.

Starman
....Finish me *beep* off.

Marisa
We're no assassins, guy.
Even if you tried, you guys didn't kill Alice. So I won't kill you either.

Starman
...*whirr*

Marisa
Somethin' tells me you're good at heart. So hey, don't just hurry yourselves to death.
If you can still do something, you shouldn't be dyin', ze. You've still got that stuff to do.
So, to make everything dandy for everybody, how 'bout you guys become my maids?

Starman
...I'm not *click* sure about that.

Marisa
...WELL, then, ze.

Starman
Wait! ...I'll go to the ends of the earth for you. Tell me your *beep* name.

Marisa
Marisa. You didn't know? I'm the most awesome and beautiful girl ever, Marisa Kirisame.

Starman
Marisa. For your future, *whirr*, take this!

Reimu heard a star song. Reimu remembered the melody.

Starman
This is *beep* farewell, heroes.

(The Starman teleports away. Reimu reads something on his desk.)

Looks like the Starman's diary.
Today, we just couldn't support Porky's means any longer.
As many of our actions arise from his selfishness, we've gradually tried acting otherwise.
Today, there was a fight between the Pigmasks and the Starmen.
I tried to ignore it, but it only puts more distance between us and Porky.
Today, we carried out our plan to capture the Yasakaya from Porky.
It went just as I said. But I feel I could use more bodyguards.
Today, we finally realized the answer was getting rid of Porky.
Because we captured this place, he seemingly plans to ignore us.
But now that we're here, we're not sure what to do.
In fact, our very wills to live may be faltering.
Our repeated attempts at invading Earth failed, and Master Giygas was lost.
But for them, we are thankful.
Now, we merely wait for the end.



[[ Outside Kourindou ]]
Yuu-Gi
Oh. Reimu.

Marisa
...Hey, Yuugi.

Yuugi
What? I'm a friend of Suika's. Just not that great of one.
You never been bored like that? 'Cause if I recall the very first scene in the game...

Yuka
What are you doing out of the underground? Was there... an oni incident?

Yuugi
Suika contacted me. She was worried about a good friend of mine, so I came to help.
...That means you, Reimu.

Reimu
< Talk about the details / Talk about Yuu-Gi-Oh >

[ Talk about Yuu-Gi-Oh ]
Yuugi
Screw the laws of physics, I have sake.

[ Talk about the details ]
Yuugi
Yeah, I figured you'd say that.
Reimu, check out the Palace of Earth Spirits. Might be something you're looking for down there.

Marisa
...And where should we get there from? Won't the pigs stop us?

Yuugi
You... wanna know, huh?

Marisa
Well... yeah.

Yuugi
Then it's a D-D-D-DUEL!

Marisa
Uh? Uh, no. I get it.

Yuugi
Reimu! I'll show you my Super-Tango-Mambo-Foxtrot Martial Arts...
And if you fall to those, there's no hope of you going underground!
Who's gonna think you're really doing what you can for Gensokyo THEN?!

Mima
What's this, a brawl with a Venus flytrap?

Yuka
No, an assassin. Or a deadly flower. Or a ninja...? No, a POWER-NINJA.

<< Miss Yuugi >>
Yuugi: Reimu! This is a hand-to-hand battle!
Caution! All PSI and bombs have no effect on her!

It turned out that her horn was a Harpoon Vulcan...

Miss Yuugi twisted her hips and ran straight ahead!

Yuugi: Alright, Reimu! This is a hand-to-hand battle!
Miss Yuugi did a rolling thrust!
<< Miss Yuugi was defeated! >>

Yuugi
How utterly reckless. But I like them reckless.

Mima
Well then, what are you waiting for? Kiss me, you fool.

Yuka
Oh, shut it. So where SHOULD we go down from?

Yuugi
Heh heh, very well. This way.

Mima
I'm coming... for various reasons.

Yuka
Guess I'm coming.

(Yuugi runs away really fast.)

Yuugi
Ya-ya-YAHOOOOOOOOOO!

Yuka
Whoa, her backwards-long-jump not even stop.

Mima
Where'd she go? Shouldn't be too far, I suppose...



[[ Meteor ]]
Yuka
Found you at last.

Marisa
...Huh? Wasn't there a meteor...?

Yuugi
A meteor, you say? Oh, that thing?
I think it fell through to make the hole here.

Yuka
Hmm.

Yuugi
If you drop down here, you'll be smack dab in the underground. So what'll you do?

Yuka
That so.
Well, how about we push Marisa down first and listen for a thud?

Marisa
Don't you dare.

Mima
If you're going to drop Marisa, you're not dropping me! Okay?

(Yuka turns to Mima and tosses her in.)

Yuka
Okay!

Marisa
T-THAT wasn't the plan, ze!

(Marisa jumps down.)

Yuka
Can't be slow! Gotta get down before everyone else!

(Yuka jumps down.)

Yuugi
Reimu, I forgot to tell you something.
If you actually want to come back, it might just be a huge pain.
You gonna go anyway?

(Reimu ...'s.)

Yuugi
Really. Well, that's your decision to regret. See ya.

(The screen fades and the meteor falling sound plays.)



[[ Palace of Earth Spirits ]]
Dog
(This is the Palace of Earth Spirits, the zoo of the underground.)
(Animals who lose their way always end up wandering here.)
(By the way, you. Yes, you. You remind me of someone I used to know...)

Mole
(I'm not an enemy. I'm a friendly mole.)
(But Miss Satori gets mad about all the holes I dig in her floor.)
(I say she shouldn't. It's better than holes in the wall.)

Dog
I'm Ruffini the Dog.
Hey, take me seriously! I'm serious!

Mima
Is that game designer actually still alive?

Dog
Nah, he's dead, ze.

Myna Bird
Aren't you eating? Aren't you eating?

Zombie Dog
(So you'd even talk to zombies. Does that make you brave, or an idiot...?)

Orin
(Miss Satori might have gone somewhere. Or maybe not. Weeble, wobble, I don't know.)
(She's so much like her sister.)

Utsuho
(I'm never plotting with a god again, no way!)

Myna Bird
(I'm good at imitation, ze.)

Reimu picked up the receiver.
Ah, it's Rinnosuke.

Rinnosuke
There should be 15,345 yen in Reimu's account.
Um, to reach the next level... eh? You can see that yourself on the menu? Ah, I see.
Well, what else might you need?
< Save / Just wanted to hear you >

[ Save ]
Are you ready to continue your adventure?
< Yes / No >

[ Yes ]
Keep going, Reimu. Nothing is impossible for you.
Slam! Beep... beep... beep...

Monkey
Hop-squeak-squeak. (I'm an ATM monkey.)

Monkey
Ukikiki, popipo. (I'm a shop monkey.)

Monkey
Meow, meow, myaaa? (I'm a priest.)
(I can't fight, but I can use my healing staff.)
(So, would you like me to heal you?)

Reimu
< Yes / No >

[ Yes ]
Reimu was fully recovered!

Monkey
Uguuu. (I'm just a NEET monkey. I can't do anything useful for you.)

Monkey?
Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yo-shi! (In a line...? I see.)

(S-chan teleports away.)



[[ Palace of Earth Spirits - Satori's Room ]]
Marisa
Uh, there she is?

Satori
What nonsense. I'VE been waiting for YOU.

(Satori turns around. Also she has a mushroom on her head.)

Mima
Gah!

<< Sato

Satori
Kidding.

Yuka
What'd you do THAT for?! You looked like you were about to PUNCH me!
Oh, and I've never seen you before! So, uh... explain everything!

Satori
No dice.

Yuka
Man, today just isn't my day!

Satori
Long time, Reimu. Well, I suppose it could have been much longer.
...I see, so you've come with surface youkai to search for something down here.
What, SAKE? Not a morsel of that here. Typically only a fleeting fancy of mine.
So, you're "Yooky." A girl who lives to bully other youkai...
Hm? Not so? ...Take your complaints up with Marisa.
Ah yes, and you... er... w... w-what?! ...I... I can't read your heart!

Mima
Wao! Guess I'm awesome!

Satori
...W-W-What ARE you? S-Such people still e-EXIST?!
Y... You must be...

Yuka
Just a brainless scarecrow, of course.

Satori
...You must be... the one. ...Please marry me, Miss Mima.

Mima
...Yikes. If Shinki were here, she'd surely laugh at the prospect.

Satori
...B-But I was only half-joking.

Mima
Calm down, Satori.

Satori
Y-Y-Yes, m'lady! ...I mean... okay?

Yuka
So what were you waiting for us for?

Satori
...Ah, uh...

Mima
Well, Satori?

Satori
Yes, m'lady! Uh, yes! There's something you must hurry to take hold of!

Orin
Enough, already! Man, this is SO not the usual Miss Satori!

Marisa
What hath we wrought...?

Satori
...Er, yes, Sparky ran away... but he had a melody.

Mima
Sparky?

Satori
A new arrival. He's a very... fiery dog.

Mima
And of all things, THAT'S what you named him?

Yuka
Where'd you learn to raise pets?

Satori
From reading the instructions. So, m'lady! Let us search together!

Mima
Nah, you just rest for today.

Satori
I, uh, see...
Well, Miss Mima! Make SURE you come back to my side once you catch him! ...please.
Okay?

Mima
Okay!



[[ F-F-Fire Springs ]]
Sign
The corpse trash can, F-F-Fire Springs. Was there a name like that in the original games? I forget.

(Reimu opens a present and Rumia pops out.)

Mima
...What?

Rumia
Use this sword.

Got the Pitch Black Sword.

Rumia
The conclusion of this story has been great fun.
I used that weapon as well as I possibly could, so, bye-bye.

Stone? Rock?
I'm a talking rock. This face was carved in, but still, hello? Talking rock?

Rock-Like
Ready, Reimu? Listen well. Or just mash the Z key, whatever floats your boat.
If you've heard this speech in the original, you may NOT need to take notes.

Rock
Your destiny intertwines with the fate of all of Gensokyo.
There will be a time in which you connect to all the people in this world of Gensokyo.
...It's not necessary to understand now.
Do you remember the song that flowed from that mask?
It is something of a bridge between your Gensokyo and the outside world, built by "him."
Because of it, there may have come outside influences, and strange things may have happened.
...When you collect all of the melodies that were sent to Gensokyo...
You and "him" will be connected for the first time.
The graceful maid's song. The raging sword's song.
The scientific failure's song. The ancient god's song.
The song played on the wind by the Enma. And the star song.
Here, much like "he" did, you'll have a fight, and obtain the runaway's song.
...And the last song... will come after a great sadness.
If all are not collected, and "he" does not appear, Porky's plans... cannot be stopped.
I hope you understood, Reimu.

With these last words, the rock smashed itself.

Sparky
You finally got here. This is the seventh of his melodies. But it's mine now.
Take it from me, if you dare...

<< Sparky >>
Sparky tried PK Fire Gamma!

Sparky burst into flames!

(In the middle of the battle...)

Suddenly! ...Well, no, you kinda saw this coming! Sparky began sparkling!
Congratulations! Your SPARKY evolved into DIAMOND SPARKY!

Diamond Sparky bit with diamond fangs!
<< Diamond Sparky was defeated! >>

Reimu heard a burning melody. Reimu remembered the melody.

Yuka
...That makes seven.

Mima
Back to Satori's?



[[ Lost Underground ]]
Rock
I'm a rock that doesn't talk.



[[ Palace of Earth Spirits ]]
Orin
(Satori went somewhere. Probably a mental hospital.)
(You're tired, I'm guessing. You should rest.)

Utsuho
(Cookies are goooood.)

As usual, there aren't enough beds.
< Rest / Don't rest >

[ Rest ]
...As you slept, you had an Orin. Er, a vision.



[[ Hinanai Tower - Torture Room ]]
Porky
Morning, Sanae.
I just can't imagine what goes through your head. Doesn't it HURT?
...Eh, whatever. Kanako, looks like your Sanae's awake.

Kanako
Sanae...
...Hm. Porky, I apologize, but give us a moment.

(Porky leaves.)

Kanako
Sanae. ...This is the end. Just work for me, like you always have.

Sanae
If that's what you want, then please, go back to the way YOU'VE always been first.
If you could just do that, I'd gladly work for you.
M'lady, Kanako Yasaka... This is the end. Please, just like always, return to being my god.
Why are you still turned away from me?
...You can't see this the way I do?

Kanako
...Hmph. Then that's your choice.
Fine by me. I don't like it, but I'll follow orders regardless.
Eirin!

(Porky and Ocelot - I mean, Eirin come in.)

Eirin
Welcome the torture specialist Eirin, ladies and gentleman!

Kanako
I leave her to you. Make her unrecognizable as a human body.
...Uh. For me.

(Kanako leaves. Porky walks up.)

Porky
Well, well, Miss Eirin! You gonna tell me how this torture should go?

Eirin
Yes, sir. Today's toy is the electric chair! ...Well, not quite, but you get the idea.
This'll shake you up for a good while with lots of pretty little electricity.

Porky
Whoa! Well, let's give it a spin!

Eirin
Okay! But this is going to be tough.
We don't want to go too far. She's just a human. Burn her black, and she'll die on us.
So I'll show you how it goes first.
(Psst. Mash the Z key to restore life. If it goes down to zero, it's game over!)

(EIRIN KNOWS IF YOU'RE USING TURBO)

Eirin
She sure can take a lot.

Porky
Needs more violence!

Eirin
'Kay, gotcha!

(THIS SUPPOSITORY IS LIKE A REVOLUTION)

Eirin
...How VERY stubborn. I even pressed the button on accident once.

Porky
So? Is there anything wrong with that?

(THE POOR ORANGE)

Eirin
...Stop, Porky, doctor's orders. She's not looking so hot.

Porky
Awww, poo!

Eirin
That's all for now, but we'll play with you again tomorrow, don't you worry.
Perhaps we could get some needles involved next time.

Porky
Smells just how a man likes it... Burnt!

(Sanae falls asleep, the Metroid title music plays, and night apparently falls.)

???
Ya'int dead...! Not yet...!

(Sanae !'s.)

???
Scorchin' Burn Strike!

(A red circle blows up Sanae and the machine, and turns her into a "failed teleport" sprite.)

???
Nuts, that wasn't s'posta happen! Must've misjudged myself! Well, s'okay.

(Suika enters.)

Suika
S'okay 'cause you're still alive!
...What's with that face? Taken 'back by my good looks?
Ain't it ordinary ta help out when there's a friendnappin'?
...'Kay, I admit it, I came ta save somebody else.
Anyhow, Sanae, I unlocked the jail. But, uh, place wasn't locked anymore.
The guards are all knocked out, so we oughta be fine if we hurry on out.
We'll make it if we can get ta the mansion.
C'mon, we gotta split.
...Ain'tcha gonna run?
...Gotcha, so you wanna get Yasaka and Moriya back.
...Hope ya can still fight, all burnt up like that.
S'up ta you to choose, I guess.
...So whaddya wanna do?
...Not even listenin', are ya.
Hell, either or, I'm gonna getcha outta here!

Suika joined the party!



[[ Hinanai Tower ]]
Pigmask
Give me more little girls! Give me more loliiiiis!

Pigmask
Miss Sanae's escaping! Miss Sanae's escaping!

S-chan
I recently realized the greatness of the Long Glove, so I'm selling it.

(He's selling a LOT of them.)

S-chan
But Miss Sanae's equipment doesn't matter much, now does it? It looks stylish, though.

Pigmask
I'm a pervert, so what?
Is it really so wrong that I just wanna kiiiiiss Miss Sanaeeeee?

Pigmask
For the love of pork, Lady Kanako! You didn't take ALL of Sanae's equipment!
She's still got at least HALF her clothes on!

Keine
You?! ...Er, Sanae.
...We shouldn't fight. I didn't see anything. Hurry on through.
...But, if you... no, nothing. Of course there's no one here.
So whatever I'm about to say is just monologue. Just talking to the wall.
...On that day, aliens attacked the human village.
And at that time, the humans were with Porky.
He told them of many things from the outside world.
After Yukari was captured, it seems all the humans got involved here.
Not like anyone needs to hear this.
The humans were indeed very interested in Porky's tales.
...Perhaps the world as it is now is how they've always wanted it.
So... even though that town seems so wholly based in Porky's ideas, is it in their's, too...?
...I... I despise that gray town.
...But, well...
What's happened has happened. Whether I like it or not, I have to get used to it...
That's just my duty.
...Shrine maiden who I can't see, thank you for listening to my story.

Suika
Oh, uh, yeah!
Sorry, Sanae! Can't go ahead with ya here!
'Pologies 'n' all, but s'goodbye!
Smell ya!

(Suika runs to the other door.)

Suika
Hwoo!

Intercom
Miss Sanae is, at present, totally unarmed!
Prepare yourself! Any encounter means death!

(Stealth segmeeent!)

Pigmask
HQ! HQ!

Pigmask
This is HQ!

Pigmask
Miss Sanae has escaped! Send backup!

Pigmask
Understood! Sending backup!

Pigmask
Miss Sanae... *smooch smooch*

(A Pigmask comes flying from the right.)

Pigmask
Gaaaaah!

(And another.)

Pigmask
I wasn't good enooough!

(And another.)

Pigmask
I'm hit! ARRRGH!

(And another.)

Pigmask
This is GREEEEEAT!

Pigmask
Who are you?!

(Mokou walks in. Live-A-Live textbox and The Ground is Yellow.)

I'm jes passin' through...
I'm the yakitori girl!

(The screen fades out and Mokou pounds away, apparently getting a lot of 1-ups in the process.)

Moko
You kept me waiting. ...Uh, not like you'd know that. Shut up.

Mokou
I wanted to try doing that just once.
So what am I really here for?
...There's a good friend of mine here.
...Sweethearts, you might be thinking?
No, I'm probably gonna kick her head in.
'Cause her head's really, REALLY thick.
...I'm just bound to her by a sense of duty.
...Bye, mountaineer. With luck, we might meet again.

(Sanae ends up in the officies, but most of them are empty, and Tenshi's is...)

No way, too scary!

(But Suwako's...)

For some reason, the door can now ONLY be opened from this side.



[[ Hinanai Tower - Suwako's Cell ]]
(Suwako !'s.)

Suwako
Who iiiiis it?!
...Sanae...! You're still alive! That's great!
...Um, I can't really think of how else to put it, that's just REALLY great!
Are you okay? You're not hurt?

Sanae
< Yes / I feel like dying >

[ Yes ]
Suwako
...Great...

[ No ]
Suwako
Oh, Sanae, you're so funny.

Suwako
Sanae, let's escape together. Okay?
...Right.
Sanae, you've been raised even better than your parents thought.
If we ever go back, we'll have to show you off to your parents, too.
Thank you.

(Metroid 2 tunnel music.)

Suwako
So, Sanae. This is REALLY your final mission now.
And this isn't just about us.
That is to say, if we are to move onward, we need Kanako.
And it's about those of not-us that don't want to be controlled.
And it's about those of not-us, human or youkai, that want this childish world crushed.
...Yeah.
...Sanae, I must make one apology to you.
In reality, it was I who roused Kanako into all of this.
Or at least, I feel that it was my fault.
...Sanae. Do you believe we had faith for the right reasons?
...Because I'm not so sure we did.
All the tengu of the mountain...
They misunderstood the shrine to be like some kind of tavern.
Is that really what shrines are?
...At some point, I said it was. And Kanako went on to do what she did.
...And now, we need Kanako.
Are you angry? It's fine if you're angry.
No, not that I want you to get angry.

Sanae
< I'm angry / I'm not getting angry >

[ "I'm angry" is actually unselectable, so... ]
Suwako
...Sanae, I've prepared some final equipment for you. You'd better use it.
Much like in a typical manga, I have no more power left to give you.

Plasma Beam data downloaded. Gravity Suit downloaded.
Omega Weapon downloaded.

(THEME OF MORIYA WARRIOR SANAE KOTIAN starts playing.)

Suwako
With these, you'd be set to even defeat me.
...I can't support you any more.
Now, it's up to you to proceed as you see fit.
But I beg you to believe in Kanako, somewhere in your heart.
That would be most satisfactory.

(Cutscene ends.)

Suwako
...It seems I may as well be a mere frog now.

(Sanae tries to leave.)

There are ants at your feet.

Ant
Yo! We're ants!
Thanks for all the times you haven't stepped on us!
We came to deliver this to you!
Here's a final present from the guy who's been watching and protecting you!
Got the Long Glove '06. It was automatically equipped.



[[ Hinanai Tower ]]
(Downstairs, all the Pigmasks are asleep.)

Pigmask
Zzz... ah, Miss Sanae... *smooch smooch*



[[ Yasakaya - Kanako's Office ]]
Kanako
...Sanae.
While your chances of being mad at me near zero, there's certainly still reason to be.
That's why you're standing here in the first place.
So you came to stop me. To make a distinction, for the Moriya Shrine's sake.

(Sanae ...'s.)

Kanako
...Or so it seems.
I know the strength of your will well.

Sanae
So at this point, you can't ask me not to fight.

Kanako
...Were it possible, I would not want to see it end this way.
Now, kill me! Or I... shall kill YOU!

<< Kanako Yasaka >>
Kanako Yasaka: Keep on taking THIS!
There was the idea of the start of the sensation of... an attack!

Kanako Yasaka threw a Wiimote Missile!

Kanako Yasaka sang "Come here..."!

Kanako Yasaka charged, saying "I wanna get Miss Sanae in the butt!"

Kanako Yasaka fired a Stinger Missile! Bang! Bang!

Kanako Yasaka: Disappear into the twilight!
Kanako Yasaka threw the Ouroboros!

Kanako Yasaka didn't attack, but it still hurt!

Kanako Yasaka fired an Only God Beam!

Kanako Yasaka: Run away now, or you'll die!
Kanako Yasaka hurled Sanae!

Kanako Yasaka attacked with miracle fruit! In the EYE!
<< Kanako Yasaka was defeated! >>

(Sanae and Kanako both lie defeated. Suwako teleports in where Kanako was sitting...)

(*hop*)

(JUST AS PLANNED.)

(No, not really. Such a missed opportunity, I tell you.)



Marisa
...Hey, Reimu. You up? Get up.
Um, wanna go out together?
...No, it's nothing important.
Just thought you might wanna go feel the night wind with me.

Reimu
< Yes / No >

[ No ]
Marisa
Won't you let the plot advance, ze?! You aren't that sleepy, are you?
Well, then. That settles that.



(Falling Love plays. Reimu and Marisa walk up to the edge of what's evidently the sea.)

Marisa
...Hey, Reimu.
What do you think about all this?

Reimu
< It's no good / Eh... >

[ It's no good ]

Marisa
Reimu.
...I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't mind if we disappear down here.
Yeah, I'm just fine whether we go away or not.
...Uh, don't get mad.
I mean, nobody wants to die... Everybody wants to stick together.
...That means you too, Reimu.
...Reimu. Whatever happens, we're gonna go together. Yeah?
Ah, um, huh, well... That's all I wanted to say, ze.
...Anythin' wrong with that?

Reimu
< Yes / No >

[ No ]
Marisa
...Maybe so.
...Hey, Reimu.
You like dancing every now and then? I know, it's a weird question, but...
...Well?

Reimu
< Yes / No >

[ Yes ]
(Reimu and Marisa do the dance from the Falling Love scene in Mother 1, basically.)

Marisa
...Hey, Reimu? Do you love me?
N-No, I didn't mean it that way, ze! ...I meant, uh... I meant whatever you think I meant!

Reimu
< Yes / No >

[ Yes ]
(Pause. Marisa walks back up to the sea and Reimu follows. The screen shakes.)

Marisa
...Zeh?

(Reimu runs up to the edge of the screen.)

<< R-IN >>
R-IN's attack!
(Okazaki comes out of the cockpit and the music stops.)
Okazaki: Gotchaaa!
Marisa: YOU STUPID BIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!
Okazaki fell over!
The robot sunk into the sea!
<< R-IN was defeated! >>

Okazaki
What's with you two? Oho, you're blushing.
Ah, the days of my youth... Wonderful, they were. Just with less lesbianism.

(Reimu and Marisa advance.)

Okazaki
H-Hey, don't LOOK at me like that!

(They advance again.)

Okazaki
To put it simply, I messed up a teleport again.

(They advance again.)

Okazaki
But the Mr. Saturns' powers of science are even more impressive than my own.

(They advance again.)

Okazaki
I can't believe they made that thing in just a day.

Marisa
...R-Reimu. Um, we should get back to bed.

(Reimu and Marisa run off.)

Okazaki
Those two are so strange.

Passion increased!



[[ Palace of Earth Spirits ]]
A message from Miss Satori is attached.

Satori
When mushrooms grow out of your head, one should be quick to assert them.
Because I'm still not quite sure what I was saying back there.
To Mima: this is my apology.
I'm very sorry for anything odd I might have said.
But it really is lonely down here, so I'd be very glad to meet you again.

Reimu opened the present.
Got the Gross Mushroom.
There's a second thing in here.
Got the Power Glove.
There's a third thing in here.
Got five Starch Jellies.
There's a fourth thing in here.
Everyone got a Satori Lunchbox.
Anything else?
Got the Mixer.

(Okazaki's standing in front of a Phase Distorter.)

Okazaki
YAHOO!!

Marisa
Is that all you're here for? Yelling... Nah, whatever.

Okazaki
The scientificness of the Mr. Saturns is truly fantabulous!
Get on this for a quick escape from the underground.

(Reimu boards and it does the thing with the rings.)

Okazaki
Hey, why'd you get on before I could say anything?! Am I an idiot? Will I die?



[[ Scarlet Devil Mansion - Entrance ]]
Sakuya
We've waited long enough, you simpletons.
It seems you've finally returned as Mistress Remilia said.
Please proceed into Lady Flandre's former room on the right. Everyone is waiting.

(Sakuya teleports away.)



[[ Scarlet Devil Mansion - Flandre's Room ]]
Cirno
Gah! Humans!

Mystia
Ahhh! Reimu! And the rest!
...No, I shouldn't talk like that. This is supposed to be a party.

Marisa
A party?

Mystia
Yes, a party.

Wriggle
Ugggh... I drank too much...

Rumia
Tonight, we say goodbye to the old Gensokyo.
And we also celebrate the coming return of the old-old Gensokyo.
We must pray. For today shall be the deathday of the absurd, dull Gensokyo.

Remilia
Heeey, Reimu.
...Right. I got everyone, within reason. Now they're waiting for you to collect the melodies.
All of them want to take back Gensokyo from the so-called "youkai among youkai"...
All of them have now gathered here.
Tomorrow, as early as morning, everyone shall destroy Hinanai City, and Porky with it.
And that's what they've all gathered for.
...So we prepare to crush the fairytale created by Porky and those he has tricked.
And soon, we'll leave everything to "him."

Remilia
Well, go and talk with everyone.

Sakuya
I'm so busy with things around the mansion that I'm going to be behind after this.

Yuyuko
So we'll be using force... Even incidents have their fun side.

Youmu
I'll obey Lady Yuyuko to the end, even if she tells me to obey myself.

Mystia
...Even WE wanted things to be honest, at least.

Momiji
(I wanna be able to do something soon.)

Ayaya
Your ever-reliable source, it's Shameimaru.
I've heard word on the wind that something fun's happening here.

Nitori
Marisa! You're back!

Marisa
Yeah, and we're both okay, ze.

Nitori
Actually, Marisa, I made something I wanted you to use. So use it!

Got the Sneaking Suit.

Marisa
Nice, black and white armor. What a suitable suit.

Nitori
It's a new model of Sneaking Suit.
It's designed to let you take four missiles to the face and be okay.
What a relief!

Marisa
Not too shabby for clothes. I'll be borrowing this for a while.

(Patchouli teleports onto the nearby table.)

Patchy
Speaking of which, Marisa, you STILL haven't returned that ribbon.

Marisa
Whoa! ...No need to threaten me. Didn't mean to keep it FOREVER, ze.

Patchy
Considering I DID say it was a loan...

Patchouli
Hoo-hah!

(The screen flashes yellow.)

Patchili
Right. ...Fine, keep it. I don't even care.

Magic Ribbon leveled up into MAGIC Ribbon!

Marisa
...You're a spontaneous one.

Patchu
And you aren't?

(Patchouli teleports away.)

Rumia
Was anybody thinking of Gensokyo being headed by pigs and brats? They should know their place.

Wriggle
...Just like Remilia says, there's no reason why this fantasy should be over.

Cirno
Eye'm gonna get strong so eye won't lose. Eye'm small now, but eye'm gonna get big.

Komachi
Lady Shiks was sighin' 'bout me leavin'. Man, hope she don't commit suicide or nothin'...

(Rinnosuke is the same as talking to him over the phone, just... minus the phone part. After talking to everyone, the show starts.)

Merilin
YEEEAH! Welcome! To the Great! Prismriver Sisters! Shooow!

(Screen fades out.)

Merlin
Soulmates of the Scarlet House!
Tonight and only tonight, we've got a show for the mistresses of mist!
A legendary performance that'll blow your spirits away!
C'mon! Hyah! Whoaaa! Gooo!

(The Prismrivers play Theme of DCMC, during which Remilia and Flandre (about time) come out.)

Merlin
A great person once said... "No more gloominess, not for me!"
Now, this might just be the last thing we ever sing.
If the fantasy ends, you're all gonna be like me, ghosts! And ghosts are gonna disappear!
But you ghosts, yeah! You guys gotta have ghostly passion!
We're ghosts, yeah! You can't give up the ghost on your fantasy!
Tondagossa! This one's for luck! Call it magic! Call it PSI!
Sing! You're zombies! Flamin' hot zombies!
Hey! Reimu! C'mon up! You give it a shot!!!

Cirno
Oh man, this is getting tense.

(Reimu and Marisa sing All That I Needed Was You.)

Afterward, everyone sang 'til they dropped.
And night fell.



[[ Scarlet Devil Mansion - Entrance ]]
Suwako
...Oh, Reimu.

Mima
The hell are you doing, froggy?!

Marisa
What's goin' on here?

Suwako
...It was Sanae.
Kanako and Sanae were just fighting over the rightful way of the shrine... or rather, of faith.
...The battle itself was a draw, but it was still Sanae's victory.
Because Kanako...
Somewhere in her heart, she knew she had made a mistake.
...Reimu. Remilia's already set out. You should hurry, too.
...I'll ask Miss Sakuya to look after these two.



[[ Hinanai Tower ]]
Youmu
Reimu... It appears I've hit my personal limit.

Marisa
Make it quick, ze! What happened?!

Youmu
...Everyone got in front of me and took the elevator, which caused it to break.
...Thanks to them, I had to walk all the way up.
...And seeing as you're here, I guess the elevator got fixed.
...Please be careful. Tenshi's room is beyond.
...Everybody's long passed me up.
But to get all the way to Tenshi, you'll need to believe in your strength.
...Lady Yukari always said, "I don't want to fight humans."
"I'd never stand a chance, maybe." ...Though I'm not really sure what she means.
Please be careful. The second. "Revenge of the Careful."
Porky's bodyguards are ahead.
They're the strength of ten soldiers in one. The elite of the elite.
Prepare for a fight from hell, as they are the ultimate soldiers.
They are dark knights that want to bring you to your end.
They will kill you bloodily if you do not take care.
And...

Marisa
Geez, there's more?

Youmu
...Yeah, I think that's enough.
Please go. I'm gonna be taking a bit of a rest.

Pigmask
They're here! The youkai destroying our town! Prepare for a ROBATTLE!

(Fight with three P-Ms.)



[[ Hinanai Tower - Floor 1 ]]
Pigmask
I'm not an enemy. I'm just a friendly fat guy.
Be careful, for Porky's bodyguards are here.
They're the strength of ten soldiers in one. The elite of the elite.
Prepare for a fight from hell, as they are the ultimate soldiers.
They are dark knights that want to bring you to your end.

Mima
We've already heard enough of that.

Pigmask
Oops, then I won't waste my breath. I'll just say to be careful instead.

Warning
This is a sign put up by an oni.
Don't go this way yet. Got that? Or you'll die. Perhaps messily?

SOMEBODY - or perhaps multiple somebodies - broke all the elevators, the idiot(s). They don't work.

Warning
Howdy, Reimu. It's everybody's friend, Suika.
Be careful. This place is as long as you'd expect, and with little recovery to be found.
So make sure you've got a good deal of time to play!
And since you can't turn back, you might wanna be saving in different slots.

Mokou
Reimu! ...Ahem, you came.

Yuka
What are you doing here?

Mokou
Here to butt heads with my hard-headed friend, what else!
That said, you wouldn't happen to have the key to this door, would you?

Handed over the Keyblade.

Mokou
Hey, it opened!

(Mokou enters.)

Marisa
Hey, don't leave us behind!



[[ Hinanai Tower - Keine ]]
Keine
...Mokou. Yes, I'm a hard-headed idiot. You can think that if you want.

Marisa
...Keine, we don't have any reason to fight.
You should know that it's pointless to befriend Porky. Put down that sword.

Keine
Reimu... you're too late.
My friends, the humans, all want to support Porky.
I have a duty to fight to the end as the humans do.
I am Porky's friend.
Now, shall I show you my bravery with this blade?

Mokou
...Keine!
You think I want to see you and Reimu fighting to the death?!
Please, just stop already... I'm begging you...

Keine
...Sorry, Mokou. I'll do what I can so long as I can.
I can't desert the human village so near its ruin, not ever again.
Mokou, it was short, but it was fun. Goodbye. May you be happy.

Mokou
I see...
...I see.
...Reimu.
There are times when you're all alone, and you have no choice... And now is one of them.

(Mokou walks over to Keine.)

Mokou
...It doesn't seem to me that I have any other choice.

Mima
...As long as you're applying SOME scrap of logic, I suppose.

Marisa
...You're both pretty hard-headed if you won't just do what you want, y'know that?

<< Fight with Keine and Mokou. >>
Keine: You may think I'm pathetic,
Keine: but I have this Gladius
Keine: and I will not be defeated
Keine: nor will I give up my fate.
Be careful! Immortal people don't die when they are killed!

Keine's attack!
Keine's ex-attack!

Mokou tried PK Fire Omega!

[Low Kick]

[Gutsy Kick]

<< Keine was defeated! >>
With Keine defeated, the battle had to end.
<< Mokou was defeated! >>

Keine
...Your victory.
Hurry on. You have needs to attend to, don't you?
...I hate to say it...
...I hate to say it, but I'm fully responsible for this.

Mokou
...
Reimu... Why did it have to be like this?
We all only wished for happiness...

Got the Gladius.

Keine
...

Mokou
...

Hat
...



[[ Hinanai Tower - Floor 2 ]]
...What kinda crazy door is this?



[[ Hinanai Tower - Eirin ]]
Eirin
...Hoho, you made it. I'm so glad, Reimu.
Everyone else came, so I knew you had to as well.
Yuyuko and all the others came... but they've gone higher up.
...Well, only one thing for me to do. ...Go, Miracle Udonge!

<< Miracle Udonge >>
(...Same as before... then...)
AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGA!!

Miracle Udon shot strange medicine!

A voice came from behind.
Kaguya: That's enough, Eirin.
Eirin: Kaguya?! What are you doing here?!
Kaguya: ...I said we're putting an end to this, Eirin.
Kaguya: I don't want a boring world, and neither do they.
Kaguya: ...This isn't just on a whim. This is what we feel we have to do.
Eirin: ...What do you mean?
Kaguya: ...Eirin. Don't you remember?
Kaguya: Where have you seen such a dull town before?
Eirin: The... moon?
Kaguya: ...Yes.
Kaguya: ...Why would you want to move toward that?
Kaguya: Heading toward boredom is not progress.
Kaguya: Eirin. We must now do our best to break off from Porky.
Kaguya: I've had enough of it.
Eirin: ...I'll obey.
<< The battle ended. >>

Kaguya
...And that's that, Reimu.
I won't try to tell you what to do or not any more.
But driving away Porky would be nice. Not trying to kill me would also be nice.
Please be quick. Bye.

(Eirin and Kaguya teleport away.)

Yuka
...I'll never understand her type.

Marisa
They just let what happens happen. Immortal life is screwy like that.

Udon
H-Huh? What should I do...?
...inPUT your COMMAND.
< Recover / Communicate >



[[ Hinanai Tower - Floor 3 ]]
Walking up is starting to become something of a pain.

(Reimu finds Yuyuko standing over the defeated Tetradolts.)

Marisa
Yuyu!

Yuyuko
Jya-jyaaan! Elly you glad you didn't have to fight this boss?

Mima
What are you doing here...?

Yuyuko
I've seen how annoying these kids can get.
...Reimu. The humans... no, Porky, has been more than expecting us.
...It's pretty much a miracle these kids made it so far.
...Reimu, you must save Yukari.
She may be old fashioned, isolated Yukarin, but... she's right.
Human or youkai, it's hard to dispute that.
Yukari may continue to think of humans as nothing but toys, but...
...So long as she does, well... we're going to keep losing.

Yuyuko
...Hurry, Reimu.



[[ Hinanai Tower - a ]]
a
...I pledge my loyalty not to any Porky, Tenko, Yasaka, Moriya, or Kaguya.
...I stand, as I always have, against you!
Since we met in that gloomy cave...
Since then, I have decided I must emerge victorious from battle with you!
And now, I may very well be as strong as ten a's!
Reimu! You are my friends... but you are also my greatest enemies!
I have come to fight you not as a mere slime, but as a soldier!
Now, you fight! Against me!

a fully restored you, somehow!

<< a >>
a's attack!

a struck hard!

a chanted Nuclear III!

a chanted Fire III!

a tried PK Shield-Off!
<< a was defeated! >>

a
...Thank you.
...This is my farewell to you, heroes.

a became a gust of wind.
Reimu gave the warrior, who was once but an insect, a salute.
There were no tears, only the sound of silence.
It was the end of a strange friendship.
Got the Dragon Sword.



[[ Hinanai Tower - Tenshi's New Office ]]
Remilia
...Truly unbelievable, yet entirely the truth. I never really believed in you...
Yukari.

Yukari
Hunya? Remmy?

Remilia
...Because you've been so spineless, I've come to destroy this town. Any objections?

Yukari
Uh! Yeah, with the first part!

Remilia
...And that is?

Yukari
...Do you not think you I could have been waiting here to some end?

Remilia
No, I'm pretty sure you're just worthless.

Yukari
Gurk!
W... Wrong! Not at all! My meals are SCRUMPTIOUS! There exist testimonies to this!

Remilia
...Must I beat you back into sense?

Yukari
...Sorry. When Yukari is gone, all is pushed upon Reimu, and I apologize for that.

Remilia
I'd say you've gone a bit too far to just get away with that...

(Suika comes in.)

Suika
Yukarin! S'not good! Reimu's comin', but she ain't got all the melodies!
Whadda we do?

Yukari
...What do we do, you ask me?
"He" has not shown himself before me since that day.
...As such, we may need to do something. For Reimu believes in him and searches.
Yet I have had much time to think it over...
And what the melodies will come to do, I find I am no longer sure.
...It may all be up to "his" jurisdiction... Whether he exists or not.
...And in the meantime, we have perhaps no choice but to give in to the humans...
Remmy. I have a request.

Remilia
What?

Yukari
...Deliver that to Reimu.
Suika, pay no mind to what it is. Neither will I.

Remilia
...Oh, very well.

(Remilia leaves.)

Chen
I'm awake now.

Suika
...You wouldn't lie to us, would you?

Yukari
I could not help it. I had to do so if I were to get Remilia to leave.

Ran
Achoo! Man, I need to blow my nose.

Yukari
...Well, that is not good. ...I believe there is a tissue box over there.
...If you do not mind, Suika.

Suika
...Sigh, fine. Can tell when 'm not wan'ned.

(Back to Reimu, who meets up with Remilia.)

Remilia
...Hm? You're coming toward...?

Marisa
Remilia!

Remilia
Yukari tasked me with this. Take it.

Received the Insignificant Object. Threw it away.

Marisa
...What's this?

Yuka
So what's she think we should do here? What's wrong with her? Stupid? Dead?

Remilia
...I'm rather flustered with her as well. And I'm not sure why.
Well, actually, I'm pretty sure it's the "stupid" part.
...Reimu. Head for Yukari.

(Reimu goes into the office, but actually just stands outside and watches a scene with Tenshi and Yukari.)

Tenko
Waha! Lookit those ants dancin' down there, and we're up top of 'em all, Yukarin. But mostly me.

Yukari
I know. ...I have heard this before.

Tenshi
Point is, I dunno what anybody could possibly plan against me when it's all gone SO perfectly.
Anybody really think they could tear this whole impenetrable thing down? They stupid or what?
What're they gonna do, try to CAPTURE the thing?
Think the humans are the youkai's playthings? Think not!
We've had this whole revolution, and it doesn't even have a purpose.
Oh, but there must be a purpose! Oh, why? Why so mean to poor ol' Gensokyo?
Idiots clingin' for dear life onto their stupid ol' world. Feh.
You wanna talk "happiness"? Living things change all the time, that's just the way things roll.
How 'bout you?
...Been about, oh, four years you've known Reimu. She changed one bit?

Yukari
...Yes. I have changed. As have you. ...As has she.

Tenko
Oh, really, oh, you don't say.

Tenshi
So how 'bout you change right onto givin' up on this pointless resistance?

Yukari
...I understand. Fool that I am, or fool that I have become...
I am merely not smart enough, it would seem.
...Well, regardless, my little Tenko. Let that be the end of our logic.

Tenko
...Hm?

Yukari
Until now, you thought only of my foolishness, and how unimportant I was.
I played careless, I played lazy, but I was a sage through and through.
...And now, you see how you were wrong.
In truth, I have secretly been watching Reimu act all along.
Despite the restrictions this cage places on me, that I was able to manage.
And so I have been watching her always.

Tenshi
...Oh, yes, the dreaded maiden, who's never had a thought in her head but one.

Yukarin
...Seeking to protect Gensokyo.

Tenshi
...That's the one, and there ain't no logic or reason to it...

Yukari
In addition, she finds no reason to ever doubt that she should.
...What do you think of that, Tenko?

Tenko
Oh, you utter moron.
I've long since decided that Porky's world is LOADS better than what you could dream.
...You're the only ones who've got problems with that.
...None of this would've even happened if you weren't the exception in the equation.
The humans would've realized this was what they wanted someday, I know it.

Yukari
Hm. So I am an idiot. ......But.

(Swift Battle plays.)

Yukari
"Even idiots have proven themselves useful."

(The cage explodes.)

Yukari
...And still they do!
Now, I shall tell you what I have been thinking all along.
...You are ugly, cruel, and deserve only to disappear off the face of this earth!

Tenshi
...Hmmm.

(Fire Emblem fight between Yukari and Tenshi. Yukari spins Ran around, Tenshi dodges, Tenshi kills Yukari in one hit. Ouch.)

Yukari was defeated.

Tenko
...Now the youkai... nah, this whole fantasy's sure to go under.

Tenshi
'Bout time you see your ancient powers have no place.

Yukari
...

Tenko
...Ahaha. I win.

(Suika walks up.)

Suika
Yukarin!!

Yukari
...

Suika
No dice... Get up, Yukari!
I don't care if you can't, I'm tellin' ya you still can!

(Remilia enters.)

Remilia
Bring me the neck of Tenshi Hinanai!

Tenshi
Shaaa!

(Tenshi throws Remilia into the wall.)

Remilia
...C-Crap...

Porky
Yeah, that sure sums you up, alright!
You've seen what happens when you try to disobey me...
So you must REALLY believe in your strength if you're gonna keep at it!
You all look like little fairies from here!

Tenko
Porky! You up top?

Porky
Yeah, I'm up on the rooftop.

Tenko
Alright, Porky! Looks like you and I are still the best!
I'm coming 'round there now. Question is, will these losers?

(The screen fades and Reimu finally enters.)

Suika
Reimu...

Yukari
...

She seems unable to do anything but stand.

Remilia
.....



[[ Hinanai Tower - Rooftop ]]
Porky
Hellooooo!
Oh, you've just struggled SO hard to get here, haven't you?
Mowing down countless Pigmasks, humans, whoever...

Tenshi
Yukari's plan was one hell of a failure.
For one, she thought if Porky 'n' I died, the town'd be over, lickety split.
But that's so TERRIBLY naïve.
'Cause all we did was take advantage of the youkai 'til we could do something.

Porky
You youkai are all so arrogant.
It's no wonder why humans despise you!
Even the lives and deaths of humans... it's all a game to you.
I came to break that world in half.
And just like that, I could be a hero.

Yuka
...Hmph.

Porky
Youkai... You oughta not take humans lightly.
That's the gist of it! That's why you lose.
We'll be leading the way to the Independent Empire of New Gensokyo.
And it'll be my country.
A country where you can live without ever having to worry about troublesome little devils.

Yuka
Can you do that?!

Porky
Sure I can. The outside world pulls it off, don't you know?
I sure never saw any demons like you running amuck in my old home.
...So, you wanna stop me, Reimu?
...If you just follow me, you'll be happy.

Yuka
...Is that it?! Bah, you don't even deserve to be talked with!

Porky
...Aw, what a shame. Not a chance. Just a bit too stubborn to be sensible.
...So you hate me just that much, huh? Fine by me. Now die.
Here, have a taste of my prototype, S-IN!

<< S-IN >>
S-IN tried PK Flash Omega!
(Reimu and Marisa die instantly.)
Yuka was immune to the attack!
Mima was immune to the attack!

S-IN rained hairspray from the heavens!

S-IN threw part of the building!

S-IN fired its End of the Century Beam!
(It does 4999 damage and makes the rolling HP roll much faster. So yeah, pretty unsurvivable.)
<< The battle was lost. >>

As her senses faded, Reimu heard everyone's voices.

Porky
...Ah, did it.

Tenshi
Yo, Porky! That robot screwed up our building in the fight!

Porky
Dude? That's rad.
Meh, forget both those hunks of junk. Tenko! Start up the Pizzahead!

Tenko
Okay! Leave this one to Tenshi!

Yuka
...Rei... mu...!

(A fire sound starts.)

Rinnosuke
No! I wasn't in time...!



[[ Scarlet Devil Mansion - Flandre's Room ]]
Marisa
Reimu...

Yukari
...Good morning, Reimu.
...Some things have happened. Do you want to hear what they are?
...Alas, there is no good news.
...And alack, there is plenty of bad news.

(Reimu gets out of bed.)

Suika
...

Yukari
...

(Sanae and Yuka are lying down in beds.)

Yuka
Ah, haha... Reimu...

Marisa
...Until a while ago, Yuka was in... really bad shape.
...F-First of all, her body was split in two.
...Second, her hands and feet were... cough... goopy.
...It's a miracle she looks anything like she used to now.
It's almost scary to think we were going to beat up Eirin...
...Without her help, Yuka couldn't have possibly been healed.

Yukari
Yooky is in a truly terrible state. As it is, she should not even try to move.

Yuka
Reimu... I had to act in your place...
Without you to help, I lost my limbs... is that okay...?

Yukari
...Mima has gone missing, as well. ...By the time we got there, she was gone.

Marisa
...Reimu... She's gone. Miss Mima... ...She's gone somewhere.

Yuka
Reimu... please search for Mima. That's... an order.
Is that okay...?

Yuka
Strength alone can't beat them.
But I have faith in you. I know you can bring us to peace.

Udon Surgeon
...My mistresses told me to give these to you...

Got the Crystal Spear. Got the Immortal Bracelet.



[[ Outside Scarlet Devil Mansion ]]
Gatekeeper
Just a while ago, your... mom, Marisa? ...Well, she passed right by me.
...She may have gone toward Kourindou. Perhaps.



[[ Outside Kourindou ]]
Marisa
Miss Mima! What are you doing out here?! H-Hurry, you need treatment...!

Mima
...Lifeup is enough for me.

Marisa
Huh, didn't think you had enough PP left! Well, come along quick, Miss Mima!

Mima
No need. Because... I'm disappearing here.
Marisa. There's little time left for me. My very soul has been worn out, and it's vanishing.
And so, Marisa... So shall you.

Marisa
...Miss... Mi... ma...?

<< Mima >>
Mima: Marisa! Now, I'm taking you with me!
Mima: So you may not die, you must fight with all you have!
Mima: Fight... the way I've always taught you!
For some reason, Mima has a PSI-Shield!

Mima tried PK Starstorm Alpha!

Reimu couldn't bring herself to attack.

(After not being able to do much damage at all, the music stops and the Earthbound level up music plays.)

Something awoke deep inside Marisa!
Marisa learned PK Starstorm Alpha! Marisa learned PK Starstorm Omega!

(A slow Reincarnation starts playing.)
(Marisa uses Starstorm Alpha, which does 1 damage, but destroys Mima's PSI-Shield.)
(After one more Starstorm...)
<< Mima was defeated! >>
(Only God fades in at the side.)
Marisa: You're... Only God? Why are you here?
Marisa: ...No way... You came to help Miss Mima?
Marisa: ...So back then, too, you were really...
Marisa: ...You didn't want Miss Mima to go away.
Marisa: ...You have my thanks, ze. Thanks a lot.
Only God faded back into nothingness.
From the fallen Mima came a final song. Reimu remembered the melody.

Marisa
Reimu! DON'T just stand there! HURRY, ze!



[[ Scarlet Devil Mansion - Flandre's Room ]]
Yukari
.....
.....She knew. She knew she did not have much time.
...Even so, Marisa, you had a superb teacher indeed.
...Even in her final moments, just as her pupil came to expect... she was the greatest teacher.

Marisa
...Mistress Mima... thank you for everything...



[[ Outside Scarlet Devil Mansion ]]
Satori
I'm amazed. You're still here.

Marisa
Satori, huh. ...What should we do now...?

Satori
Rather than focus on your heart, listen with your ears.

Marisa
...What do you mean?

Satori
...You don't understand?

(Reimu ...'s.)

Satori
...If you don't know, I'll have to teach you.
I shall make you remember. And you shall face against yourself!

<< Miss Satori >>
Miss Satori tried PK Daddy Alpha!

Miss Satori tried PK Thunder Gamma!

MIss Satori used Mindless Deviation!

Miss Satori took out a Tarot card!

MIss Satori fired Diffusion Missiles!

MIss Satori fired a Guillobeam!

Miss Satori's attack! [Moonbeam]

(At the end of the battle...)

Satori: Now, you should see... The voice, the person calling for you!
Miss Satori tried PK LOVE Beta!
Reimu's senses immediately faded.
Miss Satori stopped the battle!
<< Miss Satori was defeated! >>

Marisa
H-Hey! Reimu!
...What the heck'd you do to her?!

Satori
I said what I would do, didn't I?
But please, merely believe in what "he" says.
That's all that needs to be said on my part.



[[ Magicant ]]
Mima
Yo, Reimu.
This is Magicant. A world deep inside yourself.
Or in simpler terms, the world inside your mind.

(Reimu talks to a PC-98 Reimu next to a sign saying "Hakurei.")

Ah, me! You aren't being lazy with your training, I hope?

(PC-98 Reimu gets kicked away.)

Mima
...What's up? Why are you standing around here? Aren't you going to get going?

(Reimu ...'s.)

Mima
I see. So you want me to come along, do you?
Honestly, though, you shouldn't be afraid of walking around in your own mind.

(Reimu ...'s.)

Mima
...Well, I suppose it is true that you do have some weaknesses.
And back when we first met, I thought you were all weaknesses, didn't I?
...Just listen to your heart.
Well, whatever the reason for it, I'm glad that you appear to be so dependent on me.
We've had quite a long relationship by now.
You seem really set on this. Adamant, huh?
So I guess this makes me a "Flying Mima"?

(Mima joins Reimu. Now to walk around and hear almost every character say something.)

Marisa
Reimu. Um, I'm not sure why you came to visit someone weak like me.
When people see you next to me, looking so strong... I feel useless.
I know, I'm just not strong. My heart's weak, too.
...I know it doesn't mean much coming from a poor human like me, but good luck.
...No, I'm fine. We'll be together forever.
...Don't ever leave me behind, okay?

(PC-98) Marisa
Ufufufufufu.

Mima
...Why are there two of me?
...You know. The me in your party, and the me me.

Yuka
...The colors in your mind are charming. I think they're very nice.

Alice
...What? Am I doing something weird?

Shinki
Oh, Reimu. You forgot about this long, long ago.

Got the Floor Cushion.

Nitori
Gah! Human! ...I tried saying that, but really, I couldn't wait to meet you!

Patchouli
...What, Reimu? Is there something on my face?

Remilia
Ah, Reimu. I am your faithful serv... yeah, I'm not doing that.

Wriggle
Don't wake me up. I got punched dead.

Cirno
Reimu! The inside of your mind has way more stuff in it than mine!

Rumia
If you have to know your place, don't you think you'd be stuck not being able to do anything?
...I guess you don't care about knowing your place, huh.

Mystia
Sing with me?

Lunasa
Take a melody, simple as can be.

Merlin
Give it some words and sweet harmony.

Lyrica
Raise your voices, all day long now, love grows strong now. Take a melody of love.

Yuyuko
Spring brings cherry blossoms, the other seasons bring dumplings.
And that makes for lots of delicious sake.

Udonge
Even after many hardships, I'm fine. Just look.

Youmu
I shall not LOOOOOSE!!

(New) Udonge
Even after many hardships, I'm fine. Just look.

Kaguya
Ahhh, it's sooo boring. Won't something just happen agaaain?

Eirin
You, hit me? Me? Ugh, really? Don't you dare.

Rinnosuke
I don't want there to be any kind of parting.
...But if there isn't, I suppose that worry means nothing.

Momiji
(Huh? So you were thinking of me as a dog all along?!)
(I tell you, things would be different if Miss Aya were here.)

Yukari
Hellooooo!
Beyond here is the "Sea of Eden."
There is where you shall meet the one you have long sought to.
...Or at least, you should. Meet him. Or her.
And you will be able to know everything about yourself.
...Surprisingly, there are some important things you do not know.
But, on your struggle there, you will be attacked.
Inside your mind, there is anxiety, fear, tension, unrest, and impatience.
These things will group up and attack you.
If things gets dangerous, calm yourself. If you are ever truly worried, just come back.

Mima
Reimu.
It might sound mean, but I can't go with you any longer.
The place ahead is not your own world. It's connected to someone else's dream.
It'll be okay, Reimu. Even if you can't see, even if there's no one there...
...It'll be okay, wherever you go.
...Because this... is for all of us.



[[ Magicant - Onett ]
Like a great tapestry, vertical and horizontal threads have met...
Encounters and farewells have intertwined with one another...
All coming together into a great, big picture.
You might not even know me.
But as you believed in me, now, you meet me.

(Ness turns around.)

Now, Reimu. I am Ness. And I have an important message for you.

Ness
Can you hear me?

Reimu
< Yes / No >

[ No ]
Ness
...You remind me of a younger me.
Reimu. I did my best to make it here. It was certainly a struggle.
This meeting is one of absurdly miraculous chance, but it is fortunate.
Reimu. First... I must apologize to you.
I realize my friend has put you through a great deal of trouble.
And I myself could do nothing. I couldn't come to help.
But it seems the truth was that I had to come.
So, counting on a wish, you collected "his" melodies.
...Yet those melodies have no special powers at all.
It is, after all, just a song. Anyone could play it.
...Yet somehow, they can be significant. They are ordinary, but they can be significant.
No song is special enough to be capable of saving a world. Few things are.
...Not even a powerful person can do such a thing on their own.
That song was originally just a simple song from a textbook.
Reimu. I've been pushing many things on you, you who I hardly know.
I know that from your standpoint, you had little choice but to trust me.
However, you did them, and you believed in me.
Reimu. This realm of Magicant exists for you to look at yourself.
You can see the power sleeping within you. And more importantly, your true self.
I wanted you to see that.
...So perhaps a fight with him will be a necessity.
...Are you prepared to defeat him?
...Reimu. Remember the purpose of our conversation.
Though you're human, there will be a time when you overlap with all of Gensokyo.
...For you, victory means...
Doing what you must for Gensokyo to make it the place you believed in.
...But to my friend, victory is...
Dramatically changing the fate of Gensokyo, making it his own.
...Myself... I believe in your victory.
Reimu. Your world is precious.
Laziness, timewasting, carelessness... a peaceful place needs nothing else.
...So I want you to win.
I want to see you take back your world.

(The Sanctuary music plays.)

Ness
...And now, standing here, I am able to help you.
Deep in your heart, I can see your true self!
You must defeat me!
And then, you can receive the power of all those that believe in you!
Good luck! And know that, soon, you will take back your future!!

<< Ness >>
Ness took out a megaphone!
Ness: Your mother would be ashamed!
His attempt at persuasion failed!

Ness used the Made-You-Look!
W-What?! I can't believe Reimu fell for that!

Ness read the Overcoming Shyness book!

Ness sprinkled Dragonite on his body!

Ness threw a Super Bomb!

Ness read the Moonside Press!
Mani Mani is always Mani Mani at Mani Mani with all Mani Mani Mani.

Ness read a riddle card!
Reimu answered "SAKE!"

Ness sprayed Rust Promoter DX!

Ness's attack!
(Red SMAAAAAAASH!)

Ness used the Trout-Flavored Yogurt Machine!
Trout-flavored yogurt was produced at the speed of light!

Ness threw Fly Honey! Stinky!

Ness threw Clumsy Robot!
Ping! Clankety... Rattle, rattle dwourrrrr!... Squeeeek, tweet tweet... CLANK!!

Ness took out some loving words!
Loving Words: ...I like you.

Ness used the Casey Yoyo!
<< Ness was defeated! >>

Ness
...I see. Well done.
...However, I have one favor to ask.
I want to know if Porky is truly like you...
I want you to try and meet him warmly... as if he lived in Gensokyo.
...I really wanted to get to know you more. I didn't even get to hear you speak.
But there's no more time.
This is it. ...I apologize if I seem selfish, but the rest is up to you.
...May the goddess of fate -

(Aya interrupts.)

Ayaya
I came rushing, quick! To take a photo, quick! I'm a photographic genius, that I am!
A memory to be remembered in a photograph! Come on, stand together, stand together!

(Reimu goes to stand by Ness.)

Ayaya
Hey, look at the camera! I gotta take it!
Fuuuzzy pickles!

(She takes the picture. NESS DOESN'T GIVE A PEACE SIGN.)

Ayaya
Whew, that was a great photo.
This photograph will surely bring back the fondest of memories!

(Aya flies away.)

Ness
...May the goddess of fate smile upon you.

(Ness faces Reimu and fades away. Reimu goes up to the cliff and the background fades to black.)

Suddenly, Reimu caught a glimpse of a boy with a pigtail.
Reimu's speed increased by 5!
Behind him, there was a boy wearing glasses.
Reimu's IQ increased by 5!
Reimu heard a girl's gentle voice.
Reimu's PP increased by 5!
Reimu heard the song of a man in sunglasses.
Reimu's offense increased by 5!
Then, Reimu saw a phantom of Ness.
Reimu's defense increased by 5!
...Then, Reimu... saw herself as a child.
Reimu's HP increased by 5!

Reimu's abilities began to rapidly power up!
Reimu's speed increased by 50!
Reimu's defense increased by 99!
Reimu's offense increased by 188!
Reimu's IQ increased by 226!
Reimu's HP increased by 255!
Reimu's PP increased by 322!
Finally, Reimu learned PK Dream Omega!
Got the Legendary Bat.

Marisa
Reimu! Reimuuu!

Ness
Now you can wake up. Your friends are waiting for you.
You know what you have to do!
Go and take back your world!



[[ Scarlet Devil Mansion - Flandre's Room ]]
Marisa
Reimu...! Thank bullets!

Yuka
About time you got up.

Yukari
That was sudden. What happened to you? ...You seem somehow changed.
...You were totally unconscious. You did not move at all...
...You do not mean... him?
...Well, then, what did he say?
..."Go," "fight," "win," "that is all"?
...Then you ought to go, fight, win, that is all. ...I am sure you know what to do.
...Preparations have been made to go. Nitori and all are waiting in the usual place.
......

Yuka
What is this, a funeral?! Is that really what he wants of you?!

(The screen pans over to Yuka standing by her bed.)

Yuka
You think he was lying or something?! He SAID you could do this!
So go because you KNOW you gotta!

(Yuka's theme from Kioh Gyoku, Flower of Japan, plays. Well, a really slow version of it.)

Yuka
Reimu! And Yukari. No, everyone here should be thinking this!
There's NOTHING you shouldn't be able to do!
...C-Cough... Well, I'm getting a little carried away.
A-Anyway, that's how you should all be thinking.
We all have to believe that we can take back our world!
And never forget it...

(Pan back to Reimu.)

Yukari
...Reimu. We cannot allow ourselves a moment of hesitation!
You must go!
...Not all of us may be able to come, but we will yet be cheering you on!




[[ Garden of the Sun ]]
Mr. Saturn
We all here too.

Reimu opened the present.
Got the Star Rod.

Okazaki
I'm so happy I managed to make an appearance in these climactic-esque times.
I'm thinking this is gonna be the end. Okay?

Nitori
...Marisa, Reimu... You can go anytime...
But you can't! Never! ...I couldn't bear to lose Marisa...

Marisa
...Oh, we're not gonna die. We'll totally survive.
We can't let ourselves, you, or Gensokyo be destroyed!
So let's get this party started, ze!

Telepatchy
Marisa has no such reason to die so readily. And Reimu too, I suppose.

Marisa
W-What are you doing putting your voice in my head?!

Nitori
...Promise me, Marisa.

Telepatchy
No need to promise me. I would never think you'd die out there.

Marisa
...Okay, gotcha. That's right, we'll be back!

Your life, and the lives of all who believe in you...
Will you put it all on the line, and board the R-EFRIGERATOR-99 (LAST DANCER)?

Reimu
< Go ahead! Make my day! / Uh, wait >

[ Go ahead! Make my day! ]



[[ Skies Above Gensokyo ]]
Porky
So big... So big... And I'm on top...

Tenshi
Goooo Team Porky! Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhh!

Marisa
I see it, ze. That's Porky's base... Pizzahead, he called it?
So, this is the finale.
Everything Porky's set up's gonna come crumbling down, ze.



[[ Main Deck of the Pizzahead ]]
Tenko
R... Reimu's here! She's heading straight for us!

Rinbokusan
Oh my gosh! What are we gonna do?!

Tenko
She'll get in the way. Get rid of her!

Rinbokusan
Master Porky, what shall we do?

Porky
Soldiers on deck, assume combat mode! Everyone else... assume combat mode!

(A Main Deck of the Halberd remix starts and the Last Dancer lands.)



[[ Pizzahead - Interior ]]
Rinbokusan
Reimu's made it inside!

Porky
Release Heavy Kisume! Quickly! Quickly!



[[ Pizzahead - Nozzle ]]
Rinbokusan
Reimu's behind the the nozzle! Fix her!

Porky
Prepare to take off! Blow Reimu away!

<< Heavy Kisume >>
(Shortly into the battle...)
Porky: Now! Takeoff!
<< There was indeed takeoff! >>

(Reimu and Marisa get blown out into the sky.)



[[ Skies Above Gensokyo ]]
(They're shown falling from Pizzahead, but get caught by Sanae on a warp star.)

Sanae
I have a message from Lady Yasaka.
"Right now, you probably don't care what I think. But I want you to listen."
"...Reimu. Don't let yourself die for such foolish reasons."
That's what she said.
...Reimu. Please forgive Lady Yasaka.
...She's a bit scatterbrained sometimes.

Marisa
...Really? She seems absurdly cruel to me.

Sanae
Really. She's promised to try to be more like the old Lady Yasaka.
And if everyone just returns to normal like that, I'll be happy.
Now, let's go! Reimu! Don't you dare fall, or it's GAME SET, okay?!

Sanae joined the party!

(Fade back to the Pizzahead.)

Tenshi
Reimu is flying back toward us! Is the main cannon ready?!

Porky
Yes! Shoot her!

(Sanae tries to land, but gets deflected.)

Sanae
Maidens are GOOOOAAAAARGH!

Tenshi
Reimu seems to have landed near the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

(The message box closes to reveal the rocket-top of the mansion.)

Porky
...Not too shabby.

(The Scarlet Devil Rocket flies up into Pizzahead, but gets shot down.)

Rinbokusan
We shot down the Scarlet Devil Mansion's tip! But... but Reimu still got inside!

Tenko
Remain calm. Let's come up with a plan.

Porky
All soliders! Get Reimu. Now!



[[ Pizzahead - Inside ]]
(There's a door somewhere that's...)

The men's room.

(Reimu climbs a ladder and finds a Pigmask, a glowing light thing, and a diamond.)

<< General Pigmask (and Bio-Bio-Kraken, and Jeanne) >>
General Pigmask shot hard-hitting missiles!

General Pigmask came slashing!!

General Pigmask threw a bomb!

General Pigmask fired a vulcan!

Bio-Bio-Kraken summoned thunder from hell!

Bio-Bio-Kraken caused an earthquake!

Jeanne tried PK Beam Alpha/Beta/Gamma!

Jeanne tried PK Thunder Alpha/Beta/Gamma!

Jeanne tried PK Freeze Gamma!

Jeanne tried PK Fire Omega!

<< General Pigmask was defeated! >>

Tenko
Reimu's gonna reach the deck!

Porky
Direct her to the front of the main cannon.
...Um, that's pretty far away, though.



[[ Main Deck of the Pizzahead ]]
(Reimu suddenly gets into a battle.)

<< KA-75 >>
KA-75 shot an Onbashira Beam!

KA-75's Onbashira Brain Buster!

KA-75 tore apart space-time!

KA-75 fired its End of the Century Beam!
(Theme of Sanae Kotian starts.)
Sanae: Not yet...! Reimu!
Sanae: ....
Sanae: Here's a final present from Sanae Kotian.
Sanae: I'll stop it from moving!
Sanae, whatever she was thinking, suddenly caused a huge explosion!!!
KA-75 took 9999 damage!
<< KA-75 was defeated! >>

Miss Sanae
...Reimu... it's fine. We never belonged here in the first place.

Sanae
...Please don't worry about me. The rest is up to you.

(A Taking Over the Halberd remix starts.)

Tenko
It's in pieces! It's useless now!

Porky
Holy cow! What happened?!

Rinbokusan
Reimu is heading toward the center of the ship!

(Reimu checks Sanae.)

Took off the Gravity Suit.

(Reimu finds a room with a Suwako hat, an ATM, and... Alex, a default RPG Maker hero.)

Alex
I stand out, don't I? I know, it's because I don't have a hat.



[[ Pizzahead - Proto-NKC ]]
Porky
Welcome to my castle!
You must have some nerve, coming to fight me in my own home!
Once again, welcome, one and all... to the final, worst obstacle of them all!
Yes, if you make it through there, just beyond is my room!
...But before you can get there, you'll have to deal with Tenko's masterpiece!
Little Tenko's hateful toy will make sure you never get past!
Flip the switch! It's Natural Killer Cyborg, da ze?!

<< Proto-NKC >>
Proto-NKC shot tons of missiles!

Proto-NKC leaned over and attacked!

Proto-NKC threw a strong punch!
<< Proto-NKC was defeated! >>



[[ Pizzahead - Pork Eater ]]






























[[ Pizzahead - Cave of the Past ]]
Suwako
*hop*
I'm a frog('s hat). Do you want me to record everything that's happened so far?
< Yes / No >

[ Yes ]
Suwako
This frog hat is the final frog hat in the game.
It seems like it's been such a long time. Thank you for your continued patronage.
On the behalf of all the other hats, I thank you.
*hop* *teardrop*

Reimu opened the present.
There was a hot spring inside.
Reimu's party relaxed in the hot spring and was fully recovered.



[[ Pizzahead - Porky's Office ]]
Porky
I've been waiting a long time for this.
Behold this incident befalling Gensokyo...
The final chapter in Master Porky's incident begins now!

Tenshi
The first actor in this story is myself, the idol of all heaven, Tenshi Hinanai.
Next is the actor hanging around the shrine, Reimu Hakurei.
There's also that slimy rat Marisa Kirisame. And...

Porky
The legendary hero the whole world has awaited! I am Porky Minch!

Marisa
...Porky. I just need to ask you one thing.
...Will you stop?

Porky
...What, now?

Marisa
...Ah. This is more serious than I'm used to.
...Porky, I'm a friend of humans, sure. But I'm a friend of youkai too!
I think... the coexistence of humans and youkai is what makes Gensokyo what it is.
...Humans and youkai shouldn't kill each other. So stop, and let this all be undone!
This war has cut Yuka into pieces, and made even Miss Mima unable to fight...
Yukari is willing to die for it, and Sanae almost has.
...And your friends are mostly Pigmasks. ...That we've beaten up.
So... it's pointless to go on. Stop, ze. Please... it's helping no one.
I don't... I don't want more people to get hurt.

Porky
The time for speeches is over. You'd never understand, no matter what I did.
I'm perfectly satisfied. So... No. No one stops.

Marisa
...I see. Porky. I'm sorry. ...I'll have to make you disappear.

For the future of all! This tyranny ends now! (This ancient fantasy is at its end!)

<< Tenshi is prepared to finish this! >>
Tenshi wielded the Rainbow Sword!

Tenshi used "Superficial and Shallow"!

Tenshi used an aimed laser attack!

Tenshi tried PK Ground!

Tenshi tried PK Lifeup Delta!

Tenshi threw a huge rock!

Tenshi made shockwaves with her sword!

(After she dies, unsurprisingly, she revives.)
Tenshi tried Scarlet Weather Rhapsody of All Humankind!
(The Rainbow Sword disappears.)
The supposedly-powerful Rainbow Sword couldn't handle it!
The Rainbow Sword snapped.
<< KNOCK OUT >>

Porky
Oho... so my former friend has been defeated. This is quite an emergency.
The very height of emergency, heh heh heh...
...Yes, it's time for the climax! Reimu!
You came here for Master Porky, but now you get to experience the ultimate scare!

(The view scrolls to the blackness behind Porky... and the Devil's Machine appears.)

Porky
Behold! It is the Devil's Machine... The ultimate weapon!
At last, it has made its return! This will be wondrous!
Yes! Reimu! Marisa! You will be just another meal to this machine...
You will all disappear!!

<< The Devil's Machine appeared! >>
(Whenever its shield is broken, on its next turn...)
The Devil's Machine brought back its PSI-Shield!

The Devil's Machine (Reimu)'s attack!

The Devil's Machine (Reimu) tried PK Dream Alpha/Beta!

The Devil's Machine (Marisa) tried PK Beam Alpha/Gamma!

The Devil's Machine (Marisa) tried PK Starstorm Omega!

The Devil's Machine (Yuka) tackled with its whole body!

The Devil's Machine (Yuka) did something!

The Devil's Machine (Mima) tried PK Starstorm Alpha!

(After doing enough damage...)
Porky: I know you guys are claiming to be heroes.
Porky: But you still think you can stand up to me?! You'll burn up like the garbage you are!
Porky: In better times, this machine was dreadful! You'd never stand a chance!
Porky: It was far, far more awful than what you see now.
Porky: It was relentlessly, indecently horrible... you can't possibly comprehend it!
Porky: Heh heh heh. So I'll show you!
Porky: Humans, youkai, all of you! Prepare to be amazed!

(The screen transitions to a very Giygas-like thing.)

Porky: So, isn't this terrifying? I was terrified, too!
Porky: Go ahead, cry your eyes out! Isn't this just pee-your-pants scary?!
Porky: Heh heh heh... you'll disappear soon enough!
The Devil's Machine broke and began malfunctioning!!
Porky: ...Hm? Oh, whatever! GO!
The Devil's Machine suddenly grew and swallowed Reimu's party!

(Reimu and Marisa die and the screen fades out.)

Porky
...Who made this thing, anyway? I can't figure out what's going on! ...Oh well.
Hm? Oh, what's this?
...Could this be... that thing I've been missing...?
I see. Looks like that wasn't the only thing that could make a comeback...
Reimu! It's going to seem like I'm running away, but I've merely decided not to kill you!
In fact, here's a nice prize for all your effort! You're very welcome!
Oh, and Tenshi. You can have this prize, too.
I'll just sneak away to another era to think about my next plan.
It's been far more troublesome than I thought trying to control this world...
Next time, I'll have to search for a place that'll be less of a pain.
Gosh, that was just boring! Smell you later!



An echoing clap could be heard.

(Reimu !'s. The screen fades in to Reimu, Marisa, and Tenshi robots.)

What?! You've been put in mechanical bodies!

(Reimu ...'s. Tenshi walks over and ...'s. Reimu ...'s.)

Tenshi joined the party.



[[ Pizzahead - Cave of the Past ]]
(Reisen sees Reimu, does an MGS !, and runs away.)

Yuka
Guide my inner shadow... Light and dark above... And transcend the stars!

(The screen shakes.)

Mima
You just got fixed up, you know. Don't let me make things hurt more for you.

(Reimu walks down and is approached by Yuka, Mima, and a whole mess of other people.)

(Yuka !'s. Reimu, Marisa, and Tenshi... uh, split apart. Tenshi !'s and stands behind Marisa. A second group led by Yukari approaches.)

Yuyuko
Looks like there are even more of them.

Yukari
How troublesome. ...What do we do?

Udon
They're the only ones left that I see.

Remilia
I suppose.

Yukari
This looks like the end, everyone.
After we destroy these three, we will dig out Reimu, go home, and all have SAKE.

<< Gensokyo attacked! >>
Reimu couldn't bring herself to attack.

Reimu wouldn't move.

Reimu did nothing.

Marisa stayed quiet and looked to the sky.

Marisa sat down and didn't move.

Marisa did nothing.

Marisa was looking at something far away.

Marisa was still.

Marisa couldn't bring herself to attack.

Marisa wouldn't move.

Yukari swung Ran!

Youmu came slashing!

Mokou tried PK Fire Omega!

Yuyuko did an intense soumersault!

Remilia jumped into the sky! She came down in a spinning tackle!

Flandre caused an explosion, but no one is sure how.

Sakuya threw knives!

Udongein fired suppository missiles!

Eirin released poison gas!
But it was ineffective against machines!

Komachi threw a scythe!

Suika spit out a flaming gas!

Sanae shot the Plasma Beam!

Miss Iku used a 100-Volt Chop!

Miss Yuugi shook her hips and ran straight ahead!

Elly threw a floor tile!

Okazaki shot a missile!

Alice sent out exploding dolls!

Nitori threw Super Missiles!

Yukari's attack!

?! ...What did Miss Mima do?!

Yuka: Darkness! My soul screams!
Yuka struck hard!

(As the battle goes on, Reimu and Marisa (and Tenshi) won't attack. Every five turns, one of the eight melodies plays. As the last melody plays, the music stops...)
Yukari tried PK Dream Omega!
Mima jumped in front!
Mima took 9822 mortal damage!
Mima: .........
Mima fell to the ground.
Patchouli: ...Why did she... care for them...?
Patchouli tried PK Lifeup Omega!

Yukari... did nothing.

...The Prismriver Sisters... began to perform.
They played the song they had just learned.

(Eight Melodies starts playing.)

Flandre was overcome with something she didn't understand.

Remilia was still.

Yukari's attack!
...Missed!

Alice burst into tears.

Nobody did anything.

Yukari: ...Reimu.
Yukari: ...Sorry.
Yukari: You have done nothing but your best for us.
Yukari: ...This is the least I can do.

Yukari tried PK Dream Omega!



[[ Scarlet Devil Mansion - Because We Love You ]]
Yukari
...Good morning. And thank you, Reimu.
...Also, sleeping that way is bad for you.
Porky has disappeared from this world.
...The humans in the town have been left powerless without him.
...I wager they will decide to tear it down.
...Also, the outside world has again split off from ours.
Gensokyo was risking annihilation. It was about to simply disappear.
...Sorry if that sounded depressing. Welcome back, Reimu!
Well, everyone is waiting! Let us go!

Flandre
Reimu! Quick, you must be exhausted! Eat SAKE! Or you'll get exhausted... to death!

Remilia
Reimu, I apologize for any mistakes I've made.
Can you even think of any reasons why I'd do some of that stuff?
Well, a little bit of it might have been Flandre's fault.
Anyway, I'm done. You have my thanks.
...But after all you've done, I feel you deserve more than thanks.

Got the Franklin Badge.

Remilia
It's the least I can do for you. I hope you'll accept it.

Sakuya
Your expression never changes, does it... Well, what can else can I say but...
Thanks a lot.

Yukari
Hellooooo!
Reimu, go ahead and finish up everything you want to do.
...I would like you hear about your journey to collect the melodies.

Yukari
You still have things you wish to do, do you not?
At the very least, you should take this last chance to relax in the ending.

Ran
In the end, I didn't really do anything. And I have no excuse.

Yuyuko
I'm thankful, Reimu.
It seems all the Pigmasks are choosing to give up on city life now.
...Somehow, I suppose that man alone was making them want to stay.

Youmu
Good work, Reimu. ...Well, it was just the usual, for the most part.

Pigmask
Well, I'm gonna be Lady Yuyuko's servant too!

Pigmask
Hey, wait! Me too!

Pigmask
Well, I'm going with Yukarin.

Marisa
Patchouli, I haven't heard you thank me yet. Be honest. Just propose right now if you wanna.

Patchouli
D-Do you think I'm stupid? You did well, but really...

Alice
......I'm so jealous......

Marisa
Hey, Alice, haven't forgotten you, ze. Thanks, all you guys!

Nitori
Hey, Marisa, Marisa! Uh, um, was I useful?

Marisa
Ah, of course! Why, you were astounding, ze! ...Oh, it's our hero! Feeling better?
I'm busy telling these guys how crazy awesome we are, ze!

Cirno
This time around, I feel like I've matured a significant amount.

Mystia
And so it all comes back to normal.
It was a long, difficult endeavor, but Gensokyo is back, not that independent empire mumbo jumbo.
And we live happily ever after. The end. Great story, wasn't it?

Wriggle
Ah... everyone's come here together.

Ant
Ah... I'm hidden down here, watching everyone.

Rumia
My dream is just to get better and better.

Elly
Yoooookyyy! Where aaare yooou?!

Udon
Please, someone fix me soon... ...Although this has been kinda handy...

Mokou
Hm, it's my enemy.

Kaguya
What? Oh, my enemy.

Mokou
...Do you think we could work together sometime?

Kaguya
Heh, if you think so... why not?

Keine
...Sometimes, my brain just goes screwy. As you saw.

Eirin
What am I here for, you wonder? You're just so wonder...ful. Ohoho.

Gatekeeper
I thought my job was to keep people out, but I'm being proven especially wrong at the moment.

(Sign in front of Koakuma's door:)

And in the end, nothing happened.

Satori
...We've arrived at what seems to be the end.
...But. You've still yet to meet the person you've most sought, haven't you?
...No, it's no one you know. It wasn't Ness... It's someone else.
...You should understand.

Utsuho
Hamburgers are goooood.

Orin
Some pretty serious things have happened. But even they're over now, huh?
I get all teared up every time I think about it. The end.
The end. Fin. This is the end, my friend.
You know what I mean?

Sparky
Stop iiit! I'm not gonna siiing! I'm a dog! I'm just a dog!!

Sanae
...Good morning. Ah, I'm still hurting... Anyway, you have my thanks.
I'm not sure if I can work with Lady Yasaka anymore. I couldn't look her in the face.
...When I get hungry, though, I guess I'll have to come back. Maybe.

Suwako
*hop* After serving you for so long, this concludes the duty of the Suwakos.
...Well, you shouldn't need it, but will you save one last time?
< Yes / No >

[ No ]
Suwako
*hop* Give my regards to your friends.

Mr. Saturn
Somehow hard to find words. Just thanks.

Okazaki
Time to go back home, I guess. Oh, but this is too wonderful.

Merlin
YEAAAAAARRRRHHHH! Wanna sing?!
< Yes / Too much tension >

[ Yes ]
(Reimu and Marisa sing All That I Needed, but with Mystia interrupting with Deaf to All But the Song and Merlin bugging out and playing Phantom Ensemble.)

(Bonus for reading this far: sloppily written with tiles outside the rooms is "Don't talk to Yukarin, talk to Satorin. I'm in Patchy's room." Hm, I wonder...)

Yukari
...So, have you done everything you wanted?
< Yes / No >

[ Yes ]
Yukari
...I see. Now, tell me all about your story...

(The music fades.)

Reimu (!!!)
Yes, right. But before that... Come with me, Yukari.

Yukari
O... okay?

(Reimu and Yukari walk out.)

Marisa
Where you goin'? Reimu! Sorry, everybody, wait here!



[[ Garden of the Sun ]]
Mima
For those in spring. For all in summer. For some in fall. For you in winter.
So, of course, sake must be delicious.

Yuka
So you really want to go back?
You... well, if Porky came back somehow, it'd be nice if you were here.
No one in Gensokyo can ever deny fighting for it.

Mima
Ah. Well, in my case, that's not this Gensokyo. So I've got to go back to mine.

Yuka
In that case, I ought to go too. ...Though I ought to come back sometime, too.

(Reimu runs in. Yuka sees her and steps away. Reimu runs into Mima.)

Reimu
Eeeyahhh!

Mima
Whoa, watch where you're going!

(Marisa, Yukari, and Sanae walk in.)

Reimu
Thinking of going away without a word to me about it? Don't play me for a fool.

Mima
Ah... sorry, Reimu, I understand.

Reimu
...Well! Now, you over there! Yeah, I'm talking to you... Junya Itoi! ["You" in S's video]
...You know... in front of the monitor!

(Everyone turns toward the camera.)

Reimu
...We owe so much to you for all of this, wherever you are.
Your actions have helped so much in changing our very fate.
S... So, for now... we're at peace.
And... f... for that... t-thank you!
S-So, stay strong! That's what we have to do, too!

(Cast roll. You know all these guys.)

STUFF

Root of All Evil
S-chan

STAFF

Original Authors
Team Shanghai Alice
ZUN SOFT
MOTHER

Graphics
S-chan
S-chan's Ultimate Helpers
Suama
Yarareimu
Yarasatori
Meatball
Kirai Shouen
Napalm
Kurage
PON
Evil Personified: TOM!

Music
Angel Princess Alice-chan AKA ALiCE TAiL
VGmusic
mao

Other
vgperson (Love you too, S.)

Special Thanks
htwhtw06
Centauros
My boss, for firing me
58th Man
Master Usui
Koushimen
Eggplant Assault Buster v2
ID: 2Zhp1mROEE
>>184
All beta testers
ASCII
VIPPER
HATTENDO
Nico Nico Douga



[[ Magicant? - Onett ]]
Ness
...Huh? You're here again? Why?

Reimu
Morning. It's been a while. Well, it's all over now.

Ness
So he...? ...I see. That's what I thought.

Reimu
Yeah. We couldn't stop him. ...Sorry if we didn't try hard enough.

Ness
It's fine. There was nothing you could do.

Reimu turns to leave.

Ness
Wait!

Reimu
What?

Ness
Um... well. How should I say this...
I want you to show me your heart.

Reimu
Huh?! W-W-Why would you want to do that?!

Ness
Eh? A-A-Ahhh, n-not like that!
I want you to show me your world, the way it is inside your heart.
...Is that fine?

Reimu
< It's fine, pal! >

(Parody of the Earthbound intro with Reimu and Ness walking around the old Gensokyo, ending with Reimu and Ness giving peace signs in front of the shrine.)

Touhou Seiboroku
END





[[ Yuka's Smashes ]]
Yuka: Look, a distraction!
SMAAAASH!!

Yuka: Aether! HYAAAH!
SMAAAASH!!

Marisa: Where'd you get that hammer?!
SMAAAASH!!

Yuka: Enough is enough! I've had it with these fairies!
SMAAAASH!!

Yuka: Looks like you're prescribed for pain! Krankenschwester!!
SMAAAASH!!

A second Yuka appeared behind Yuka!
Yukas: ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!!
SMAAAASH!!

Yuka: Don't underestimate flower power...
SMAAAASH!!

Yuka: Henshin-a-go-go, ladies!
SMAAAASH!!

Yuka dripped candlewax!
SMAAAASH!!

Yuka fell over!
...And her weapon flew out of her hand!
SMAAAASH!!

Yuka: Just take a look at THIS!
SMAAAASH!!

Yuka put down her weapon for a bare-handed strike!
Yuka: FAL-CON! PAUUUUUUUUUUNCH!
SMAAAASH!!
Yuka: Show me your moves!

Yuka: You're done for now, it's quite a shame!
Yuka: Your life extinguished... unlike these flames!
SMAAAASH!!

Electricity ran through Yuka's body...!
SMAAAASH!!

Yuka: Bask in the glory of the sun!
SMAAAASH!!

Yuka: You're mine now, dog! Now, bark!
SMAAAASH!!

Yuka: Get out of my sight! Shoo!
SMAAAASH!!

Yuka: There's... no one inside you, is there...?
SMAAAASH!!

Yuka: When you don't go to heaven, tell 'em little miss Yuka sent you!
SMAAAASH!!

Yuka pointed her fingers at the enemy!
Yuka: Bang!
SMAAAASH!!

SMAAAASH!!
Yuka: Perish in the flames of darkness!



[[ Mima's Smash ]]
?! ...What did Miss Mima do?!
SMAAAASH!!



[[ Battle Memory ]]
Cirno
Enemy or friend? Well... she's stupidly optimistic, we'll give her that.

Mr. Ghosty
Wherever you go, you're bound to see these ghosts. They really don't mean any harm, but they always seem to get in the way.

Starman Jr.
A young spacenoid left wandering the universe for a place to stay.

Masked Maid Girl
Sakuya, huh? Now what kind of fight can we expect to see from Sakuya...?

Killer Green Tea
I don't think I'm very good at making tea. It came out way, way too hot, not to mention it's walking around.

Undefined Border Occupier
A UFO that flies around Yukarispace. It's also the height of fashion, oh baby.

Even in Your Mother Game
Don't look this way. Don't look that way. Don't look over there. Which way DO you look? I don't care. Get out of my face.

Gramps Rider
All his friends know him. He's a little taller than most coots his age, but he takes it easy down the stairs of Hakugyokurou.

Spiderman!!!!!!
Your friendly neighborhood spider from hell. To tackle him calls for great power and decent agility.

Half-Spirit
A positively boring spirit. He's never scared the pants off a kid once. We're not really sure if he even deserves "half."

Youmu Shall Not Lose
Well met, Hakurei maiden. Your strength is as legendary as they say... But I know something you don't know. I... am not ambidextrous.

Poopachu
Considering he's just a yellow rat, he's shockingly popular among children! He strives to be the very best!

Marisa-Colored Mushroom
You can try cutting him up in any direction you like, but you still won't be able to eat him. Sorry.

Fly You Little
Your standard annoying-as-hell fly. Don't let him get to you too badly.

Cirno
A mirror image of her former self. Speaking of which, she's stupid enough that she'd attack her mirror image.

Mystia
Planning on starting up an eel restaurant with singing and dancing. Tondagossa!

Wriggle
A young boy doing his best to fit in with the other Tetradolts. Pretty good for a bug.

Alice (Sick)
You're so cruel, Marisa... And that's why I love you so...

Energy Robo
A energy-refilling robot for energy-consuming robots. Presumably, he gets his energy from another of his kind.

Uber Woodoh
A mighty, heroic tree who will gladly give up his life to protect the bamboo forest.

Usagator
An alligator that might be a rabbit, or a rabbit that might be a plate of sashimi. And are those ears, or eyelashes?

Snakey
A snake that tends to snap toward places where the sun doesn't shine. The "y" is extremely important, as it makes him more indie.

Huge Galleon
The creator's first creation. Look, he's had a lot of time to improve since then, okay?

Tengdog
Assistant reporter by day, enemy inside the mountain by... other times of day. Unfortunately, she's frequently in the shadow of the Galleon.

Staion
An ancient space monster from a faraway galaxy. It seems that Gensokyo may be experiencing alien problems. Well, at least they're not Eirin-ans.

Galbangor
An apparent leader of space monsters such as the Staions. He's really old, but he survives thanks to being reconstructed after every defeat.

Miss Iku
As a messenger of the Dragon Palace, she can control the atmosphere, so watch out for her Saturday Night Thunder.

Unreasonable Guy
There's no reasoning with these guys. That's probably because they're not actually real.

Starman
A spacenoid hoping to find a home in Gensokyo. But who in the whirrld's gonna want to house these guys?

Tentacle
I'm not sure what exactly this thing is or how it gets around, and I really wouldn't suggest thinking about it.

Energy Killer
A robot so full of energy, he just can't help himself. From killing people. With... some kind of harpoon.

Starman EX
An extra stage Starman. If you were wondering who an unknown Starman was, it was probably him.

That Rascally Rabbit
I'm not sure what these rabbits are thinking. Their stupid maze tricks are for kids.

Guilloscreen Rabbit
A slice 'em dice 'em sliding door. It secretly hopes to behead a princess. We're not sure if Eirin knows this or not.

Spinnnnnnnnnner
Can reach around 85 centimeters on a good day. The "n"s are to be pronounced rapid-fire.

V-1969
A big fat robot made by Ei-rin, Ei-rin. Believe it or not, there's a reason for the rabbit ears. However, the reason is that there IS no good reason.

Cirno
Nine balls stand on the edge of a cliff. They all fall off. Cirno thinks the same way.

Pigmask
At some point, they started showing up everywhere in Gensokyo. They're the definition of clumsy, which allows for plenty of one-off jokes.

Starman Neos
A new kind of spacenoid with the ability to stop bullets. Unfortunately, it doesn't work very well against the danmaku kind.

Dirty Sign
A sign covered in graffiti. Even though you can still easily read the original message, people tend to use that as an excuse.

Tenshi
She already got more than she ever deserved thanks to her parents, but she's never quite satisfied, it would seem.

Eyes On Byu
A strange family that showed up in Gensokyo who knows when. Consists of dad, mom, and rebellious son.

Gedoh
He's carrying around some kind of... giant kitchen knife? All we can be sure of is that he can't throw it nor stop time.

Evil Eye
He's always giving people that look and making them feel uncomfortable. What a jerk.

Elly
A gatekeeper who will eternally guard Mugenkan. Is it lonely? Is it sad? Though she's had plenty of time to think about it, she says she doesn't know.

a
A poor little green blob that shows up in games lacking in originality, as well as this one. If he just keeps at it, though...

Severed Head
Reimu had a dream. It was a very clear and very strange dream, starring a headless prince. Wonder what that was about?

Huoooh!
A lunchbox that's very enthusiastic about his job, whatever it may be. What? You mean that's just the door behind him? You don't say.

Forgotten Memory
What kind of memory was it? It forgets, too. It's all very mysterious.

Weight Man
Weight Men can actually weigh anywhere from 2 kilograms to 400 kilograms; don't confuse them with Heavy or Light Men.

Only God
A legendary Fire-type; a half-dog, half-gerbil creature seen by few. Well, aren't you special.

Last Ghosty
A Mr. Ghosty from the beginning of time... maybe. Actually, that would make him First Ghosty. Either way, he's still a Ghosty, so this guy is rather unlikely to pose much of a threat.

I, Demon
A demon created via magic square, capable of talking in first person. What was his creator doing to necessitate this? Who knows, and it's not proving very useful for him.

Neo in Your Mother Game
Overexposure to Mako is no joke. Just look at what it does to you. ...I mean, Makai. I said Makai, didn't I?

Lady Shinki
The mother of all... er, Alice, I guess. That stray hair strand of hers is capable of piercing the heavens.

Giro-Blame
A rogue spacenoid that deserted Galbangor. Then he wandered off and somehow got stuck in the cleft between dimensions. So he can only Blame himself.

Natuve Faith
The spirit of a phoenix possessing some weird frog. Its appearance IS rather startling, so it might make you go "holy bullets!" if it jumps out at you, but it's not so tough.

Hagbot
A robot modeled after a gap youkai. Yeah, because those certainly represent the height of fashion. ...Didn't I say that already?

Nunu
The second of the creator's creations. Indeed, it is a history best ignored. But it isn't. For some reason.

Cirno
Frustrated by her losses, our little Cirno has undergone intense training. From who? Some wrestler guy with equally-low IQ, I think.

Bunnymask
I wonder, who could be wearing that mask? A rabbit? A human? ...A Hylian?

Pigclops
A Pigmask with eye lasers. Why? Because his eyesight is just that good.

Godmask
A Pigmask with deadly weapons on both arms, not just his right. He's not any less clumsy, though, so he's rather self-destructive.

a
You can't say he's not trying. Plain and simple, his stats have increased to fifty times what they once were.

Strange Patchouli
So that's what her face is like under that mask of makeup... ...Anyway, what exactly is her deal today?

Old Boney
A pile of bones that never got enough calcium. He appears to be sitting in a very American manner, but he's just watching a trail of ants.

Uncyclopedia
Bored by the truth, this public encyclopedia prefers to tell amusing lies. Avoid using it for reports.

Proserpina
A maid that uses camoflague. She heralds from ancient Roman myths, and is in fact the queen of the underworld's granddaughter's cousin's friend's... well, okay, it's been a long time.

Candoll
How do things go when it has to light itself? Don't even try to think about it. It's just too awful.

DEATH
Death itself. But he supposedly has nothing to do with the guys on the Sanzu no Kawa. Honestly, he's probably scarier than the real last boss.

Count Remilia
The embodiment of charisma. Despises Rinnosuke for being a miserable little pile of secrets.

Miss Sanae
A wind priestess who's been "remodeled" by Porky. It's not so bad, though. She could probably make a pretty good living as a bounty hunter.

JASHIN
He's just a recolor of a Weight Man, okay? Sometimes the world is just unoriginal like that.

Smilin'ball
A ball that's just happy to be alive. Reimu sees his yellow half and wants it painted black.

Bucketman
The bucket gives off a truly awful stench. He's not such a bad guy, but no one wants to give him any paper.

Pitch Black Rumia
Rumia after getting someone to remove her ribbon for her. She's rapidly become stronger in every area... except intelligence.

MAN
While he appears to be only half of a man, he's a man and a half. His nice muscle is loved by ladies as well as other men.

That THING
Would people think I was cool if I had awesome horns? This Fassad guy told me it'd help...

Snake?!
It's his destiny to be here. He's on a mission to infiltrate Border Inc. and destroy their top-secret weapon. ...Well, presumably.

Rinbokusan
Vroom, vrooooom!

Passhon
The ghost of a musician who died before he could finish his polka. Well, I GUESS you could call him a musician...

Hamalot
A gallant knight from a faraway world. He now works as a scout for Porky.

Horsepig
A Pigmask riding a horse from hell. His archery abilities are top-notch. ...He hopes.

I'm a Gundam!
A Pigmask who fights for the unity of Gensokyo. We think he's slightly confused.

Bravopig
A Pigmask who knows the way of the exteeeeending aaaaarm. Disappointingly, the extending bit is just part of the outfit.

New Udonge
A tasty new flavor of noodles... I mean, an updated version of Udonge. The power of Mecha-Chimeratization has made her into a brand new Udon.

Old-E
Though covered with years of dirt, this is how the Energy Robos got started. It's not just a piece of junk; in fact, by and large, it's better than the new models.

Pizzah
The favorite food of devil hunters everywhere. It's actually really tasty if you manage to eat it.

Shanghai Tease - "O-chame na Shanghai." "O-chame" is "teasing," but "o-cha" is "tea." The latter might not have even been intentional, but I still managed it, heck yes.
A mischevious playtoy. Whether with a human or a youkai, it loves to play danmaku, but only with the strict rules of one-coin, spellcards-only, no-continues.

Big Bang Easy
The miraculous combination of a tengu and a hat, which then had a bomb drilled into its head. There's... no one under that hat, is there?

Neo Candoll
It's just two Candolls fused together. It probably wouldn't be easy, but it really needs to dust itself off.

Blue Starman
Apparently his color represents his rank in karate. He's always thinking he'll be black someday, but we all know it'll never happen.

Last Starman
Trumps all the other Starmen, to be sure. He's not really the last one, but he sure does wish.

Ancestral Starman
The boss of the Starmen, apparently elected by age. He's bad, and everybody knows it.

Miss Yuugi
An oni and Duelist Queen of the underground. Naturally, she's the ONLY duelist in the underground, but that doesn't seem to bother her.

Dinosaurasaurus
A dinosaur that tears up the streets to uphold the order of the underground. Though it's often challenged, some say he's the fastest in Gensokyo.

Lunastone
A stone that seems to believe it is responsible for the passing of days. Make sure you don't forget the "s."

Positiveman
A diligent honor student with an optimistic outlook. We're not sure what would happen if Lady Eiki ran into him.

Hot, Yo!
Feels good hanging out in caves full of lava. May or may not be a product of Fujiyama Volcano.

Inviting Sign
Stares at people using the toilet. Often travels with others of his kind, so he can sometimes be a bad sign of bad signs to come.

Treager Demon
Appeared in the underground of Gensokyo at some point. A distant relative of the Greater Demon.

Ghostcluster
An underground variation of the Ghosty family. Five ghosts make one Ghostcluster. And no, Miss Mima doesn't count.

Melty Moltenman
He uses the power of his ever-burning trash to burn others. Hates Hot, Yo! with a you-know-what-kind-of passion.

Sparky
A dog that once knew "him" (maybe). But really, his name seems uncannily like the kind of name Porky's neighbor would give his dog.

Cypork Ninja
A Pigmask with a rough voice. No one in Gensokyo knows where he's from, though some say he died once.

Wildcat
A revolver-wielding Pigmask in the Russian army. His reloading alone makes him revolutionary.

Kanako Yasaka
The manager of the Yasakaya. She had her reasons for what she did. For the most part.

R-IN
A giant mech that has nothing to do with wheelbarrows or dead fairies. Another cat? Surely, there'll have to be a mouse next.

P-M
Porky-Mangler? Peace-Machine? Pig-Mask? Or just Plain-Moron? If we don't even know what the initials stand for, how can we know what they do?

Pigmask Zanbar
Some guy wearing blue who came out of nowhere and joined Porky's bodyguards. Well, can't complain. Apparently related to a prince in some far-off country.

Unlikely Heromask
Somebody out there thinks he's a hero to those in need... I suppose. He probably wouldn't exist in anything but a fantasy.

Pigmask Gunner
A green-suited member of Porky's bodyguards. He was promoted from a Wildcat, but he sorta liked his old clothes better.

Pigmask Agent
A gold-suited, strangely wet member of Porky's bodyguards. He lives a life of danger, chance-taking, and curry for every meal.

Captain Bunnymask
A white guy who was called to be one of Porky's bodyguards to do who-knows-what. He was at the top of his class with three years of straight Cs.

Keine
With a weapon that powerful, even Keine can't screw up all that badly. It'll certainly help to make her a tougher opponent.

Mokou
The yakitori girl who's just passin' through. She wields the Low Kick and Gutsy Kick. To be continued in Touhou-A-Live's Hourai Chapter...?

Miracle Udon
A miracle of modern science, it's New Udon and then some. Eirin must be pretty serious about trying to scare people, seeing as she added on all those horns.

a
The climactic third encounter. The days when you just hurried past him have long past. Now, you face off with a true soldier.

S-IN
A sturdy robot fought prior to the final showdown with Porky. The fight didn't turn out so well. Once the Pizzahead got off the ground, this hunk of junk was quickly abandoned.

Mima
An evil spirit who had been sleeping in the old world. But there's no reason to fight Miss Mima, is there? I wonder what she's thinking...

Miss Satori
She takes what traumatizes people and turns it against them. That's her job. Don't think about anything, you know, weird in front of her. What traumatizes HER, you ask? Mushrooms.

Maiden Demon
Does that thing have a gaping hole for a face? Reimu's heart is kinda screwed up. But otherwise, yes, it looks just like Reimu.

Witch Demon
Would the real blacky-whitey's face ever look this sad? I wonder what would it would take to make it smile.

Youkai Demon
Other than the lack of face, this demon looks astonishingly like Yuka. It can't find its way, which makes its sluggish speed even more of a problem.

Spirit Demon
Regardless of eye count, it seems as if anything Mima-esque is capable of peering into people's souls. It looks an awful lot like someone... besides Mima, that is.

Ness
It's "him," who appeared to entrust everything to Reimu. He's a swell guy, to be sure. I wonder how he fits all those classic items into his little backpack?

AAAA
A standard cocky hero that makes bad guys wonder what they did to deserve him. Good friends with AAAB and AAAD. He's apparently never met a.

Cerebrum Final Mix
The result of some wicked experiment. No one has any idea what "Final Mix" is meant to imply.

Final-E
The ultimate Energy Robo, wielding the power of Yatagarasu himself. It brings Utsuho to tears... ...And excites Nitori?

Smooth Shambler
A Shambler that's smoother than silk doing the moonwalk. Sure, he's an enemy, but attacking him seems so... criminal.

Mecha-Yagokoro
A mysterious creature, indeed... and this is a robot based on it. Eirin MIGHT have made it, but the name seems too simple for her tastes.

Doll
A recreation of the very first traumatizer. But wasn't this thing in a different world from the one Porky was born in...?

G-E
The superior of the P-Ms. The Pigmasks all wish they were this guy.

Bio-Byu
A nuclear family that bounces around quickly, making weird sounds. Weirdos.

Heavy Kisume
What the heck are you...? Why on earth would you...? What's it going to...? ...Takeoff!

General Pigmask
The guiding force behind the entirety of the Pigmask force, in all their silliness. Guess how he took charge all you like; it was probably that sweet pose.

Bio-Bio-Kraken
A monster from the Sea of Eden... or the Sea of Sweden? Well, some sea. The name seems to imply he's more bio-bionic than the bio-regular kind. We'll just have to trust him on that.

Jeanne
A powerful, seemingly-new model of robot. Perhaps indicative that Porky is beginning to understand the way things work in Gensokyo.

KA-75
A robot modeled after Lady Kanako. It's pretty godly strength-wise, I suppose, but the design of this thing was probably part of why Kanako left Porky.

Proto-NKC
The prototype for the Natural Killer Cyborg. Porky didn't think to include the End of the Century Beam in the prototype, fortunately.

Tenshi
The thoughtless girl living in the heavens. If she still had the Sword of Hisou, she certainly could have been a force to be reckoned with, but alas.

The Devil's Machine
The ultimate nightmare, brought back courtesy of Porky. He went to hell and back getting the thing up and running again, but it's still rather unstable.

Yukari
Everyone... Why...?